Girls Gone Dead Page #5

Sure, did.

Even met Wylee herself.

Really?

I'll take it you're taking in

the local culture.

That depends, Daddy.

Do you consider culture to be

shuffleboard tournaments

and early bird specials?

Because that's

what's going on here.

I mean, come on.

A retirement community?

What, are you

punishing me?

Of course not, pumpkin.

I bought that place

for peace and quiet.

I figured that's

what you girls wanted, too.

You know, after your

midterms.

Right.

- Thanks a bunch.

- You're welcome.

So what else is going on?

Well, guess who had the nerve

to pull me over today?

What, no idea?

F***ing Darren!

- Darren?

- Yeah, Darren.

Oh, and this place just

gets better and better.

Not only did I run into

psycho-stalker

but Lisa disappeared

last night with some dough boy

from your favorite bar.

- And she hasn't shown up, yet? - No.

Her phone keeps going

straight to voice-mail.

If it makes you feel better,

I'll put a call into

the station.

You remember what

kind of vehicle she left in

or the name of the, uh...

friend she, um,

might have been with?

No idea on both counts.

Well, I'll take care

of it, all right?

And don't you

worry about Darren,

you will not be seeing him

again, okay?

Thanks, Daddy.

And look, you girls

want to have a fun evening?

I left some supplies in

the garage for you.

Supplies?

What kind of supplies?

Bingo?

Canasta?

No, you little wise guy.

Some party favors

from a shindig

I had just

a little while ago.

Party supplies?

Great.

Thanks, Daddy.

- I love you.

- I love you, too.

Oh, I got to go, my-

my seminar starts

in a few minutes.

- I'll talk to you tomorrow.

- Bye.

Oh, wait, wait, hold on.

You don't go anywhere,

you little minx.

I got something for you.

You don't go anywhere.

And don't forget, you owe me

that rub and tug.

- Well?

- Well, what?

What did he say

to do about Lisa?

He didn't say to do

anything about Lisa,

but he said he'll put a call

into his old station.

I'm sure she'll be fine.

Oh...

Kel, could you come with me?

I could use

your help for a sec.

- Okay.

- Thank you.

Ooh, I wonder what

kind of party supplies.

So?

Is this the one?

You look great.

Perfect.

Thanks,

but I don't know,

I feel like I'm just

going to fall out.

If you want to wear something

more conservative,

you can borrow mine.

I've brought extras.

Uh...

Uh, where are

you going?

It's just us in the house,

and we've

seen them before.

Well...

All right.

What's with

the hula gear?

Is somebody having a luau?

Apparently we are.

My dad mentioned

something about

leftover party supplies.

I thought it was booze,

but, uh, we got this.

So I guess you put

these in the backyard.

Yeah, and the three of us will

take these out front.

Bottoms up.

Thanks, I'll try not

to drink it.

You do that.

One down.

Kelly...

Yeah?

Don't you think that'd

work better

if we put

fuel in there first?

Oh, right.

I get it.

What?

Is that the same

cop car from before?

Hey!

Oh, sh*t!

I see you, a**hole!

Get off my property!

Hey, I'm more

than 100 feet away.

There's nothing

you can do!

- man:
Darren!

- Ahh!

I know

you can hear me!

That's right, b*tch!

Go for Darren.

Get your ass to

1302 Beachside Road,

Daytona Beach, ASAP!

And don't come back!

- F***!

- Should we be concerned?

He never hit you

or anything, right?

No, it wasn't

anything like that.

All lit out back.

Is everything okay?

What did we miss?

Everything's fine.

Just another visit

from Deputy Douche Bag.

Next time your little

policeman friend shows up,

I'm calling the real cops.

Look, I told you,

my dad's taking care of it.

He's gone, drop it.

Showtime.

Sh*t!

Oh, my God!

Whoa, get out of my way.

What's up, boys?

Glad you

could make it.

Someone recovers quickly.

- Hey, Rebecca.

- Hey, Rebecca.

I like the one in blue.

Look at that donkey, man.

Why do you say, donkey?

It's an ass, man.

- What in the f***?

- Oh, ass, okay, okay.

Drink your beer, man.

Come on,

you dirty girl.

Yeah...

Come on, drink up.

Okay, now for that

audition.

Drink up,

it's a party.

Hold on a second.

I wanna go for a ride!

If you're going to kiss me,

kiss me for real.

What, do I have bad breath

or something?

Whoo!

That would look

so cute on you!

What are you doing?

Yeah, right.

Did you witness

the beheading?

No.

The whole thing happened

upstairs,

but the head

fell right into my shot.

And I was thinking,

whoa, this footage has got to be

worth something.

I'm telling you, Sheriff.

There's got to be

a connection.

Look, I'm not going

through this again.

I'm not.

We have two

missing teenagers,

a murder in the same county.

Oh, and what about

the guy hanging around

Missy Pratt's house?

The missing teenagers have been

gone for less than 24 hours.

They're probably

sleeping it off somewhere.

They'll come staggering back.

Hell, they're probably

around here somewhere.

Oh, thanks, Tommy.

Let me take

a look at that.

Well, I'd say your theory is

pretty much a sh*t piece.

Oh?

Well, unless that

perp you say you saw

was dressed like a monk

and carrying a sword.

That's a war hammer.

A what?

A medieval weapon used by

religious zealots

for purification reasons.

And you learned

this where?

A local

Renaissance festival?

Have any of these

witnesses reported

what make of

vehicle the suspect left in?

I don't think anyone

was paying attention.

Too many other things to

look at around here.

Sheriff...

I have a really bad

feeling about this.

And you've obviously

got a disability, right?

Huh?

You know, that

hearing-impairment thing?

Come on, it's either that or

you're just not listening.

I mean, do you realize that

you're in direct violation

of the restraining order

the former

sheriff put against you?

I never touched her, I just-

It doesn't matter,

he's pissed

and he's threatening

to go to the city council.

They're questioning

my sanity.

- But you're-

- Shut up.

Here's the deal.

You stay away from

Melissa Pratt.

You're going to

stay away from Manatee Creek.

As a matter of fact...

you're off-duty

for the next 24 hours.

So just beat it.

Go.

But what about the guy

at Missy Pratt's house?

The guy at Missy Pratt's house

was probably a peeper

or some ex-boyfriend

with nothing better to do.

Do you realize, you're putting your entire

career

on the line

here for an ex-flame?

Get over it, get past it.

Those things

never end well.

And usually somebody winds up

getting hurt.

Okay?

Now listen, I got a dead

celebrity here.

I got 50 airheads

wrangling for an interview.

So let me do

my job.

Get out of here.

man:
So, uh, anything else

you want to do for me?

Yeah, you and me later.

Actually, I got

a girlfriend already.

Well, it's not like we

have to f*** or anything.

But what about

a little head?

Wait, wait!

God, stop, no!

Jeez, f*** this!

- Oh!

- Oh, my God, did you see that?

Tha Horrible. ual.

Good God.

Headless.

Looks like someone's hormones

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