Girls Trip Page #11

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No, listen, just be honest, be honest.

What is it?

I haven't found my equal yet.

If the right woman came along,

I'm 100% in.

I mean...

Oh, come on.

That's true, though.

That's not true.

You know what I'm sayin'?

Where you think you're going,

to get your ass kicked again?

I need to talk to Ryan.

That's not gonna happen.

Let's go.

How'd you know she was here, anyway?

F***.

I got to get a new line of work.

All right, I'll deliver

your message. What's up?

I just found out I'm pregnant.

And before you even insult

me, yes, it's Stewart's.

Does he know?

I told him, and now this

motherf***er won't return

any of my calls or texts.

Aw, let me go find a tear to shed for you.

I don't need your shade, okay?

That's not why I came here.

Well, why did you come here?

Because I didn't make this baby by myself.

Bottom line, I need Stewart

to call me back within the next

24 hours or I will go public.

And I might be willing to spill

this tea on your little site,

give the exclusive to Sasha's Secrets.

And I have pictures.

Nasty, freaky pictures, too.

Think it over.

What was that about?

- You know, you...

- Oh, you can tell

- you got an eye for...

- I...

- You can tell which ones, which ones.

- Listen, I got a...

- I got a eye for it all. Tru-Trust me.

- All right.

- You do.

- Hey, what up, y'all?

What's wrong?

I tried everything.

I...

I went to all the top specialists.

I...

I tried every fertility

treatment on the market and...

nothing.

She gave him what I couldn't.

Why didn't you...

tell us that you were having

a problem getting pregnant?

Because I was embarrassed.

I didn't want anyone to know.

Look what I did.

That's their baby.

I took a pug and I put that with Stewart

and made this b*tch baby.

And they can have that

little b*tch-ass baby.

It's gonna have a big ol' booty

- and a ugly-ass face, just like his mama.

- Mm.

And then I made a variety of babies,

in case they decide to have

a litter of b*tch babies.

Little pound puppies.

And they gonna make a ugly-ass b*tch baby.

You understand me?

I love you.

Look at that baby.

Look like it licks its own ass.

That's how ugly that baby is.

That one.

That's a ugly-ass baby, ain't it?

It's Stewart.

The hell?

Ryan,

please let me in.

The hell he want?

Let him in.

You a piece of sh*t.

We need to talk.

Alone.

There ain't nothing you need to say to her

that you can't say in front of us.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, it's okay.

It's okay.

We'll wait for you downstairs.

Here, take my stun gun.

Now, this button right here...

it raises the voltage of it.

As a matter of fact,

you know what? F*** it.

I'm gonna just leave it on high.

All right? And just tag him

right in the balls if he do something.

Both balls.

Dick, too.

I spoke with Simone.

She agreed to sign an NDA

in exchange for a monthly payment

for her and the baby.

I could... kill you.

I am so furious right now.

And you have every right to be.

Do you even...

love me anymore?

Of course I do.

I made a terrible mistake.

I know you can't trust me

as your husband anymore,

but you can trust me as your partner.

This deal will set us up for life.

But we can't do it apart.

Ryan without Stewart...

doesn't have it all.

I just hope she kicked his cheatin' ass out

and tagged his dick skin

till it fried like bacon.

- Mm-hmm.

- Damn, Lis.

I thought you wanted them to work it out.

Yeah, well, I changed my mind

as soon as I saw his arrogant face,

so f*** him and that disaster

of a woman he impregnated.

- Amen.

- Mm-hmm.

Unbelievable.

And she's been up there too long.

Oh, what the hell's going on?

What in the...?

- F***?

- Damn.

The f***?

Why is she doing that?

- Mm.

- Really, though?

- The f***?

- Damn.

Are you staying with him?

Stew figured out a way to

handle the Simone situation,

so it's gonna be fine.

Oh, wait. No, hold up. Stop. Wait.

So, he dickmatized you that quick?

Dina, he's my husband.

He's not some guy in a bathroom stall.

- Mm?

- I'm not just gonna throw everything away.

You know what? Ry, I get it.

'Cause when I was leaving

Terrence, I was terrified.

I didn't think

I was gonna be able to do it on my own,

but I've been figuring it out.

- You will, too.

- Mm-hmm.

I'll help you.

Lisa, that's sweet, but I'm not like you.

You don't understand. I

can't live with my mother.

Well... well, what is wrong

with living with your

mother? I... I love my mother.

You don't get it. You all can't get it.

You're not in my world.

You don't live my life.

I can't just walk away from that.

I give people hope.

I don't have a choice.

Where is your hope? This is you choosing,

and this choice is diminishing you.

Diminishing me?

Says the woman who chooses

to talk sh*t about people for a living?

Way to use that journalism degree, Sash.

Look, I got to pay bills.

And for the record, I

have multiple degrees.

- Hey, hey.

- Then use one of 'em.

How you gonna tell me to use 'em?

All right. Let's have a time

- out. Just a little breather.

- And just take a moment.

- Yes! Hello.

- Ryan, have you seen it?

- Oh, they trippin'.

- What? - Oh, sh*t.

- F***in' Simone.

- Is that that b*tch from the demo?

- Wait.

Have you been on the

Internet? It's a disaster.

- It's just a sh*t show. All right, I'm gonna fix it.

- Oh.

- Hell, no.

- All right, I got to fix this.

All right, bye. Bye. Bye.

You conniving...

You are sneaky.

All right, all right,

everybody, let's just...

- How could you do that?

- You think I did this?

I didn't do this. Simone must have.

Simone, who you were huddled

up, talking to in the corner?

Huh? That Simone?

Wait. What did you do? Did you...

Did you sell it to another

site to cover your tracks?

- Are you serious?

- Because you know what?

I know you're broke.

I see you hiding your tags in your shirt.

We all see it. I'm not stupid.

- Yeah.

- It happens.

- You know, I mean...

- Yeah, I mean, we know

- them ain't no real Red Bottoms.

- I shop at Goodwill.

You know, Nordstrom's do take stuff back.

That's what's so cool

about Nordstrom's, you know,

- Nordstrom's takes every...

- Congratulations, Sash.

You know what? I really

hope it was worth it!

You know what? Hey.

Hey! The f***ing thought did cross my mind,

but I would never play you

out like that for some money.

The problem is, you never

valued our friendship

as much as I did.

How could you say that?

You are like a sister

to me. I have always...

This how you treat a sister? I

quit my job at The Times

to get our website off the ground.

I hired a designer.

And what did you do? What'd you do, sis?

You left me high and dry.

Because you thought

that you could get more

success with Stewart.

Why you think I'm doing this

bullshit gossip blog anyway?

And not-not once did you apologize.

If you would have told me

no, I wouldn't have done it.

You should have spoken up!

How the f*** do I compete with pillow talk?

Dickmatized, just like she said.

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