Girls Trip Page #2

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- For once, I agree with Dina

and her foul mouth.

She needs this trip so she

can go off and get some love

so she can stop being

so grouchy all the time.

- Ma!

- Your mama know there's cobwebs on that thing.

- Uh...

- You know what...

Sorry.

Oh. Mm.

- Bye, Mama.

- Oh, my goodness.

- I'm gonna miss you. Oh, I'm gonna miss you so much.

- Mama.

Heifer, you are not going off to war.

Go. Go. I beg of you, go.

We'll be fine.

You are so silly.

Scrubs?

Really? That's what you're doing?

What's wrong with this?

Uh-uh. We are not going nowhere

until we see you with some camel toe, okay?

No, I don't do camel toe.

Okay, well, you can't just show forearm.

- That's not sexy.

- All right, Dina...

Where are you going, to teach first grade?

- Okay...

- Who wears socks this thick in New Orleans?

- All right. I organized everything!

- Nobody.

Girl, we're going to the

Essence... What is this,

- the "Bidi Bidi Bom Bom" Collection?

- Okay, I...

- Is this a Care Bear shirt?

- Don't touch nothing!

Don't touch nothing!

As usual, you guys f***ing killed it.

And, and I'm not the

only one who thought so.

Are you gonna tell us who else thought so?

You have no patience

for dramatic revelation!

Fine.

Bethany Marshall, the head

of marketing from Best Mart,

thought so, and...

And what else?

She wants to launch an exclusive Ryan

and Stewart collection

and underwrite a Ryan

and Stewart talk show.

Boom!

Wait, are you serious?

Yes, I'm serious!

That's... amazing!

I know. She said... and I quote...

"they're both just so real."

She's gonna send her

business affair peeps down

to New Orleans this

weekend to make the offer.

They want to launch by end of year.

That's amazing.

- Thank you.

- Honey, thank you.

We're gonna be rich, we're

gonna be rich! And thank you.

Hey, baby, I got to head out

or I'm gonna miss my flight.

- Oh.

- But I will see you

and the Flossy Posse in New Orleans.

- Yes. Mwah.

- All right.

- I love you.

- I love you.

- In love with you.

- I'm in love with you.

I love you. Come here!

- Oh!

- Mm. Thanks.

Mm.

I am so lonely.

Oh!

- Mm.

- Oh, you smell...

- you smell good.

- Yeah, she...

- she bought it for me.

- Sorry. Go before I spank you!

I just did!

- Please go. Bye!

- Mwah!

Oh, gosh, that man

knows how to exit a room.

Mm.

Now, Ryan, honey, don't be mad,

but with so much on the line, are you sure

that you want to get turned

with your girls this weekend?

I promised them a free trip.

And it's "turnt" with a "T."

Okay, got it, got it.

But maybe just wait until the deal closes,

and then, you know, take

'em all to St. Barts,

buy 'em all Birkin bags, something.

Liz, it'll be fine. I promise.

Listen, we're all adults,

and our insane party days are behind us.

- Well, most of us.

- Mm. I don't know.

I just know if I was with

my college girlfriends...

in New Orleans,

there would be pictures of

our tits all over the Internet.

I mean, there's actually

a few of those out there.

I don't know if you saw 'em.

But, anyway, it doesn't matter,

'cause, the point is,

I have civilian titties,

but you have best-selling author titties.

And-and ten percent of

your titties are my titties.

I just... I just want our

titties to have a future.

- Liz.

- Yeah.

What's the name of my book?

You Can Have It All.

Exactly.

Okay, okay, you're right. I'm

gonna defer to your judgment.

So, listen, I'm gonna, um, fly in

before your first appearance.

I'm really excited to

meet the Flossy Posse.

You girls are gonna be

Kiki-ing all weekend.

- Okay, Liz.

- Yeah.

- And I say this out of love...

- Preach, girl.

Mm. Please refrain from

saying things like "preach"

or "go, girl,"

"bye, Felicia," "ratchet,"

or any other colloquialisms

that you may have heard

or looked up on Urban Dictionary.

This weekend,

over half a million black

women of all sizes, shades,

from all different

socioeconomic backgrounds

are descending on the

Crescent City to celebrate

black womanhood in all its glorious forms.

You, my dear friend, are a guest.

Act accordingly.

Wow.

I'm not even offended.

- You're the best.

- Oh! Mm.

Okay.

Have fun on your #BlackGirlMagic weekend.

Girl, bye.

4718 to New Orleans will

commence boarding shortly.

Ooh! Got my hand sanitizer.

Got my anti-nausea medication.

Hold on to that. Ooh!

Hi, earplugs.

Uh, you need to relax, Judge Judy.

You know, I got some bomb-ass Kush,

if you want to take a hit of

it before you get on the plane.

That sh*t will have you right.

Where did you hide...

You know what? Never mind.

I'm not even gonna ask.

Fine, I ain't gonna tell you.

Okay, I'm-a tell you.

Where the sun don't shine.

You know, a lot of people

think that means the vagina,

but actually it's the butthole.

I got drugs in my booty.

You know what, that can

cause a lot of infection.

Girl, you can't get no

infection in your booty hole.

It's a booty hole.

Okay.

Enough.

You're grown.

On another note, let me ask you a question.

Do you think this situation

with Ryan and Sasha,

think there's still drama

or has it been long enough?

It better be, 'cause I plan

on getting white girl-wasted

this weekend, and I ain't

letting none of you b*tches

kill my vibe, okay?

That's hand sanitizer.

It burns.

Well, considering we don't

know where your mouth has been,

it can't hurt.

- Oh, my God.

- You want a cough drop?

- Mm. Yeah.

- Here. Just...

Excuse me. Uh, can you ladies point me

- in the direction of the Flossy Posse?

- Oh, my God!

Oh, my goodness!

- It's so good to see you.

- Oh, wow. - You look great.

I'm so happy to see you two.

- Girl, you're killing it!

- Yeah.

Turn-up time.

Hey, ladies!

Hey, Sasha!

Oh, I've missed you guys so much!

So good to see you!

Flossy Posse, Flossy Posse,

- Flossy Posse, Flossy Posse.

- Yeah, I know you are.

- Hey!

- Hey! - Hey!

She baddie!

Sash!

Hey, Ry.

Hey.

Well, life is treating

you well. I see that.

Please. I see you and Stew

pop up on my feed once a week

going to some fabulous event.

- I love your hair.

- Nice Dr...

It seems like they're getting along.

- Sh*t.

- Right?

These b*tches is plastic.

- That's a great lipstick, too.

- Thank you, right?

Ladies!

- I made something very special for us this weekend.

- Oh.

Bam!

What the f***?

Look like a Bedazzler

threw up on that thing.

What? This is very fashionable.

It's of today and

yesterday. It's very retro.

How about we save it for the last night?

Of our lives?

Or donate it to the My

Little Pony Motorcycle Club.

Okay. I put a lot of

man-hours into these jackets.

Now, see, that's not the

kind of man-hours we need you

- putting in, Lisa-Lis.

- Mm...

Okay. Et tu, Sasha?

Yes, you need to be bedazzling some dick.

That's what you need to do.

Enough.

Okay, now, here's what I want.

Let me get three shots of

whiskey with a Coke to chase.

Coke Zero, though. I'm watching my figure.

Dina, you know this is only an hour flight.

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