Girls Trip Page #7

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Hello!

What's wrong?

- Don't worry about it.

- They gon', they gon' fix it.

- Just-just hold tight. Hold on, Lisa.

- Yeah, I see it.

This is not the time, I'm telling you!

You got it!

Squeeze that!

- Oh, God.

- It hit a snag.

- It's right there. Got it?

- Baby Jesus. Oh, Je-Jesus.

Please, don't make me pee on anybody.

Stop taking that picture

of her f***ing vagina!

Please don't do it!

Oh!

- Damn.

- How much did she drink?

Why have you forsaken me, Baby Jesus?

Your BFF is on her way.

So sorry. I really tried to hold it.

Don't worry, girl. I got you.

Yeah!

I didn't know you was into golden showers.

Girl, that's my jam.

Watch this.

What the f***?

- Oh, come on!

- Oh!

Oh, man.

What are you doing?

Y'all didn't even have

to take me to Red Lobster.

Hey, when I said let loose,

I didn't mean it literally.

Ry, what?

- Did you see that?!

- Yeah.

Everybody saw it.

- Damn!

- Oh, I am so happy we ran into you.

I swear, I've not had

this much fun in so long.

You never had a problem with that before.

I miss that girl.

You definitely brought her back tonight.

Well, maybe she needs you

around a little more often.

Uh...

maybe I should get you home.

Didn't you say you have

an appearance or something?

Tomorrow?

With your husband?

Yeah, that nigga.

What?

What? No.

- You just...

- Yeah, no, no, right.

I should, um...

I should probably go.

Yeah. Uh, but where y'all staying?

I'll take you to your hotel.

Where you... at the W?

- Uh...

- The Roosevelt?

I got you.

Come on.

All right. It's all yours.

Are you sure?

There's no way in hell I'll let y'all

stay in that filthy dump.

I'm-a crash with the guys in the band.

Y'all get some sleep.

Thank you, Julian, for everything tonight.

For everything.

No sweat.

You sure everything is good with you?

Yes. Absolutely.

All right, then.

- Okay.

- Night.

Can I just touch it?

You can touch it.

Ah...

Oh.

You're shy.

You should move your arm.

That's not my arm.

Uh...

I just... I couldn't do it.

It was unbelievable. I'm telling you guys,

you had to see this thing.

Well, why didn't you

bring it out and show us?

Were you gonna help me carry it out here?

I'd have slung it over my shoulder.

I... listen,

- I ain't never seen nothing like that.

- Wait. The good Lord

gives you all that meat,

and you just hand it back?

Is that because you a vegan?

No, Dina.

It's because I want to

keep my uterus intact.

Girl, I'm gonna give

you a lecture tomorrow.

But tonight I'm too tired.

I think my liver is broken.

Uh-uh. Y'all not going to sleep.

Come on. Come on, bring it.

Come on!

Get up!

- Mm-mm.

- Oh, God.

Mm-hmm,

mm-hmm.

What?

I'm not going to hell.

Jesus loves me, too.

Better recognize your blessings.

- She got a point.

- Yeah.

Okay.

Here we go.

Heavenly Father, we want to

thank you for this day of life,

and thank you for bringing

the Flossy Posse back together.

It's like you always listen to my prayers,

'cause I missed my girls so much.

- Aw...

- And I can't wait

for us to have all the

most fun in the world!

Oh, I can just feel my heart

filling up with joy now,

just thinking about all the

good things we're gonna do...

Thank you.

Hey, are-are you even up for this?

Don't worry, I have been

pretending to be okay

for two years... I can do

it for a few more minutes.

Honey, honey... whoa!

Somebody got turnt.

It's okay. It's okay.

Uh, yeah, yeah, so we'll, uh...

- Gonna get you some coffee, okay, sweetie?

- Okay.

- Some water?

- Yeah, water, too.

- Yeah.

- Listen,

I've been out the game for a minute,

and I don't know what these

young girls are doing out here

to handle all that,

- but I'm not on that train.

- Come on, now, Lisa,

I ain't never known you to

back down from a challenge.

I know.

Just grapefruit him.

What?

Y'all ain't never grapefruited before?

No.

But I'm listening.

What you want to do is,

- you get a grapefruit, right?

- Okay.

- And you cut both ends off, as so.

- Mm-hmm.

Then you cut...

a hole in the middle, like this.

Like a nice little tunnel.

And then you place that on his penis,

like this.

- Oh.

- Okay?

- Like that? Right?

- Oh.

Now, you want to squeeze

and twist and suck,

so then it feels like he's

getting f***ed and sucked

all at the same time.

It's like this.

You want to... choke just a little bit,

'cause that make him feel like a man,

like he killing your sh*t, just...

Dude, this is tickling my throat.

I got it. Oh.

Mmm.

Now, you never, ever want to do this

with a pineapple.

I almost died.

Oh, here it go...

Sasha, tell me the truth,

do you think this color's too much?

It's barely enough.

It's beautiful.

Ryan and Stewart Pierce.

- What's your name?

- Give it up for Ne-Yo!

It's always a-a beautiful

and energetic crowd

when you come to the Essence Festival...

Miss Terry McMillan.

Beautiful black people...

I mean, people, period...

but beautiful black people,

you know what I mean?

That's what you come

for... you come to celebrate

your blackness.

Morris Chestnut!

Yes! Whoo! Yes!

On your knees...

Ava DuVernay!

What is "black girl magic"?

It feels like a reminder, it

feels like a rallying call,

it feels like a...

- a term of endearment.

- My man, D-Nice!

Make sure to keep stirring,

so this crawfish doesn't overcook.

Oh, yeah, 'cause we

cannot have that, y'all.

- Hi!

- Hi!

I love you! I...

- I'm so sorry. Dina!

- You're kissing the air, girl.

You know, I guess that

chapter in your book is right.

"The couple who cooks

together stays together."

- Yeah! - Yeah!

- So cute. They're so cute.

- Couldn't have said it better myself.

- That's true.

She on some Academy Award sh*t

- with this performance.

- Oh, Sasha,

you know, marriage is tricky...

she-she still loves Stewart.

They're just going through a rough patch.

And you can see, there are

a lot of different peppers

- and colors...

- Oh, no, this b*tch didn't.

- What?

- Aw, this heifer.

Oh, what... Dina, don't.

- I'm just gonna whup her ass.

- Don't, don't, don't.

Why don't we invite

someone from our audience

to come up and have a taste.

- Ooh. I'll do it. - Yeah! Me!

- Oh. You in the red.

- I saw you first.

- Mm, mm, mm.

- Aw, hell, no. - Let's go.

- Oh! No. Wait, wait, wait.

Right here.

- Oh, wow.

- This b*tch thinks she can just come up

in here and do what

the f*** she want to do.

All right, looks like we

have a few eager volunteers.

- Uh-huh.

- Come on up, girls.

The more the merrier.

- Are y...

- I got it, Ry.

Mmm, this looks so delicious.

But I could use some extra sausage.

Oh, really? You want to

be careful with that...

you don't want to choke

on too much sausage.

I'm good.

I don't have a gag reflex.

Ooh! This b*tch want to get hurt.

Are they still talking about jambalaya?

Um, uh, yeah.

It's colloquial. Um, "Put your foot in it."

"So good it makes you

want to slap your mama."

"B*tch gonna get hurt."

Got it.

You know what, since we've

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