Go West Young Man Page #2

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Oh, no, you don't!

Now, wait a minute. Every time I make a date we're

either leavin' town or rehearsin' or somethin'.

Jeannette, get me my

black gown. Yes, miss.

My job is to keep you stainless as a

lily... and I don't mean a tiger lily either.

This one, miss?

Yes.

Oh, but why don't you wear that

white gown? I said the black one!

I think you're lovely

in that white one.

Now, listen! When I say-

Oh, I am, huh?

All right, the white one.

Where are you going

with that ward heeler?

To the Palace Roof,

and don't you be a heel.

Don't worry. We won't even be seen. I'll

get a private dinin' room or somethin'.

I say you won't. I'm running this show,

and I'm running it till the tour is over.

You're not going to hand me the same bill

of goods you handed your last manager.

What are ya gonna do about it? Phone

Greenfield. Tell him what I think about you.

And if you don't think

I'll tell him-

Hello? Get me

Hollywood, California.

Granite-3200.

Mr. Greenfield.

You're a great star

and can't risk a scandal.

Your private life has

got to be an open book.

It is. I'm just lookin'

for someone to read it.

Hello?

Hello, Mr. Greenfield?

This is Morgan, A.K.

I'm in Washington.

Listen, I've got

some bad news for you.

Your favorite star is about to step out

with some politician here.

I've tried to keep her out

of the limelight with men.

[f she doesn't do what [ tell her,

you cancel her contract.

That right? Right.

Don't think [ won't.!

Right.

Right-hand man, huh?

Right. Right. Right. Say, I

could have you fired like that.

- If that's the way you feel about it, why don't you?

- I don't know.

I talked it over with myself last night,

and we both went to sleep.

Say, haven't you got some letters

to write or something?

Good idea!

A little wire to A.K.

wouldn't hurt a bit.

Do that.

It'll keep you amused.

I could like that guy if he

wasn't so hard to get along with.

Palace? Matre d', please. Yes, thanks.

Mavis, this is

a positive thrill.

I always say, ''A thrill a day

keeps the chill away.''

Hello? Yes.

This is Francis X. Harrigan.

I'd like a quiet little table

on the Roof for tonight.

Just two. And alone.

You know, seclusive.

Someplace where

we'll be alone.

Hello, hello. Amalgamated

Press? Well, listen.

Mavis Arden is the guest of nominee

Harrigan at the Palace Roof tonight.

The press is invited.

Hello, Operator.

And the reportorial staff of the

Unin News Service is invited.

Palace Roof.

Okay, we'll cover the story.

Hello, Paramount News?

Well, here's a hot one for you.

Mavis Arden, the movie star,

and Francis X. Harrigan...

are inviting the press to meet them

at the Palace Roof tonight.

You ought to get

some great pictures.

Well, I'll say one thing for these stars

- They're not under contract, and they can stay out as long as they want.

It's great to be with you

again, Mavis darling.

I haven't had much time for

romance since I last saw you.

I've devoted myself entirely

to my career. So have I.

But sometimes I do hear

the call of the irresistible.

Don't you?

Yes.

But in two hours you'll be on your way

to Harrisburg, going out of my life again.

That's in two hours from now.

Me too.

Oh. No.

All right.

Something seems to tell me

I'll be going to Harrisburg.

Well, phone me before you leave.

I'll be stopping

at the Penn Harris Hotel.

You know, darling-

I know nothing. You tell me.

That's fine.

Now, will you give us one with your arms

around Miss Arden? What is this? What is this?

Did you-

No. Did you?

How about a story for my paper? How long

have you known Mr. Harrigan, Miss Arden?

- When is it going to happen, Miss Arden?

- Happen? Why, nothing's gonna happen.

Mr. Harrigan and I are friends,just friends. Aren't we, honey

- Uh, Mr. Harrigan?

Huh? Yeah. Yeah, sure. I was just

recalling the time in Chicago-

Why, I don't really believe the public

would be interested in that, Miss Arden.

What? Not interested in politics?

Oh, Miss Arden, I was only jesting.

Uh, give us a break here,

will you, fellow? Okay.

- Have you any particular platform, Miss Arden?

- Well, the one I act on.

- Well, haven't you any political

views? - Well, let me see. I-

Why, of course you have, Mavis.

Tell them the one about more

marriages. You know. Tell them that one.

Hmm.Just a mouse

studying to be a rat.

What a platform.

Marriages? Sure, let's have it.

- Tell us the whole story.

- Don't crowd me, boys. Don't crowd me.

What I think the country needs

is more marriages, more happy homes.

Look at the millions of lovely giris wasting their

lives in factories, shops, offices and restaurants,

just because millions of men

can't afford to marry them.

When April comes around again, with its blue skies and

- What's gonna become of the country?

- What can be done about it?

- The state should make it possible for them to marry.

Endow matrimony the same

as we endow hospitals and colleges.

Give every unmarried girl a dowry

and provide every young couple...

with a home, furniture,

radio and ''Eyetalian''villa.

- And a baby grand?

- That depends whether you can play or not.

Oh, but, Miss Arden,

I don't think that-

You take him, boys. He knows

his campaign better than I do.

Pardon me, boys.

All right. See ya later, boys.

Is that gonna be your campaign, Mr. Harrigan?

Do you agree with Miss Arden?

Well, I-I- Can we quote you in

connection with Miss Arden's statement?

Well, of course I think- Well, as my

constituents have so often said, I feel that I-

Laugh that off.

I- I hope the interview

was satisfactory, gentlemen.

''Mavis Arden advocates

increased matrimony.

Francis X. Harrigan

endorses her views. ''

People will think I've gone crazy.

''Hollywood and Washington unite

in launching new campaign. ''

Great grief!. And then these pictures

of us taken together. I'm ruined.

Cummings, I want you to take

a letter of protest at once.

Send it to all the newspapers. Yes, sir.

Now, let me see.

To the editor-

Dear sir,

In the interest of justice I must protest

against the misleading statements...

that have been printed about

Miss Mavis Arden and myself.

Why, Francis, you old fox.

What do you mean, old fox? I suppose you've

seen the papers about you and Miss Arden?

I certainly have! I suppose

everybody has seen the papers.

And if you think you can come here

and gloat over me, Andy Kelton-

What do you mean,

gloat over you?

I suppose you're going to try and pretend

that you didn't realize what you were doing.

But you can't fool me.

It's the cleverest political move

you ever made, Francis X. Harrigan.

Cleverest?

Why, the old-maid schoolteachers' vote alone

is enough to swing a presidential election.

Well, of course. And with Mavis Arden

behind you with her national reputation.

Why, say! Well, I

- I'm glad you approve of my little plan, Andy.

Excuse me, sir, if you want this letter to

the newspaper to get off in the next mail-

Never mind that letter! Cancel the

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