Go West Young Man Page #4

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Officially, I am Miss Arden's

counsel for public relations.

Yeah, I expect she has

a good many too.

Well, I can see that you aren't exactly

buried out here in the country, are you?

No,just waitin' around

to be, I guess.

Now, tell me what a public relations

whatever-it-is really is.

Well, I believe I'm

the last one in captivity.

You see, Miss Arden is very

attractive and temperamental.

Yes, I read somewhere that she's very

susceptible. That's one name for it.

So, the studio sends me along to see

that she doesn't ''suscept'' too easily.

Oh, yes.

You see, Miss Arden's contract won't

permit her to marry for five years.

My job is to see that she

doesn't break that contract.

Lucky you have a sense of humor.

Humor and patience and...

a knowledge of the alienation

of affection laws of every state.

You don't say. The rooms are ready

now, in case you'd like to look at them.

Excuse me.

Hey, you, come on.

Fix this, will ya?

Well, if this ain't

a surprise.

Who'd have thought I was gonna see

you again right here, face-to-face?

Boy, you were swell in that

show last night, Miss Arden.

Boy, you sure were! And were

you grand in Puzzled Peacocks.

Oh, gee. Oh, gosh.

Oh, gee. Oh, gosh.

Don't you think we could discuss this

better after you get us out of here?

- Say, we sure could.

- Mr. Clyde. Mr. Clyde.

I got 'em together

amongst one another.

Boy, will Gladys be glad when

she hears about this. Come on.

And in that big cave scene,

boy, was I scared!

I thought they were

gonna kidnap you sure.

And I bet they would have,

too, if it hadn't been for-

Pigs!

Hello,Joe.

Miss Mavis Arden,

the big movie actress.

She's back there in the car.

Ya mean the one in that picture,

Love [s Such A Selfish Thing?

Yeah, that's the one.

- Hiya, Bill! Mavis Arden, the big movie star!

- A big movie star.

Hi, Andy. Mavis Arden, the big

movie star. She's in the back.!

Mavis Arden?

Turn on that radio

for a change.

They're coming!

They're coming!

They're coming right now!

They're coming

down the road right now.

Come on! Mavis Arden!

Come on, everybody!

In my time women with hair like that

didn't come outside in the daylight.

Keep back. Keep back.

Bah!

Mavis-

A.K. was right when he said we were

making pictures for a lot of maroons.

We welcome you, Miss Arden. We hope your

stay at the Haven will be a happy one.

Oh, I'm sure it will be.

If I could just have a moment's rest,

then I'd be so glad to meet my public.

Come, Morgan.

Mavis, please.

Don't ''please'' me.

You think I'd walk 6 miles

- What am I supposed to do? Sit around this terrible dump?

Why, a ghost would be willing

to haunt this place for nothin'.

I wouldn't stay here

if it was embroidered in jewels.

My dear, I'm sure you don't want these good

people to get the wrong impressin of you.

Oh, my dear, dear friends.

What must you think of me?

My tragic, tragic

temperament.

This tour has been just one

intolerable thing after another...

and we artists-we artistes-

we live on our emotions,

you know. How true.

You must forgive me.

Why, that's all right. I've been

sort of on edge myself today.

I assure you, I had no

intentions of casting-

Aspersions. Aspersions

on your lovely home here.

No, indeed. Miss Arden

is quite overcome by it.

Why, it's charming,

but too, too charming.

And your interior is just as

picturesque as your ulterior.

Miss Arden has had

a very trying day.

Well, let me get you

a nice hot cup of tea.

Tea?

Yes, you know, tea.

Oh, tea. Oh, that would be simply divine,

but I don't want to put you to any trouble.

Oh, it's no trouble at all,

my dear. No trouble at all.

Gladys, get Miss Arden a cup of tea. Oh!

Well, hurry up.

Oh, yes.

Charming girl. Uh, Miss

Arden, I want you to know...

Mrs. Struthers

and-and Aunt Kate.

Mrs.

- ''Miss,'' young man! ''Miss'' Kate Barnaby.

I'm glad to meet you.

This is my great-niece,Joyce.

- Miss Arden, this is indeed thrilling.

- Thank you so much.

It's all so lovely,

so very lovely.

I've often said to my producer, A.K. Greenfield,

president of Superfine Pictures, Inc.-

''You know, A.K.,'' I said,

''if I ever build another house,

it's going to be one of those simple little

colonial cottages,'' just like this one of yours.

- That's exactly what I want.

- Oh, Miss Arden, thank you. Thank you so much.

And I have a lovely quiet room with a

nice soft bed and a private bath for you.

Why don't you go up and lie down,

and I'll serve your tea up there?

Then you can drink it in comfort

and have a nice rest.

Your maid's taken

your things up already.

Oh, she has, has she?

Well, it does sound tempting,just

to relax for a tiny moment.

And now if you'll allow me to talk to Mr.

Morgan alone, please, for just a moment.

Why, of course.

Come along,Joyce. Katherine.

Don't get sore, Mavis. Do you think I'd

have planned that marathon for myself?

You'd jump off a 10-story

building into a bottle of ink...

if you thought you could keep me

from gettin' to Harrisburg tonight.

Ya figure I got a lotta phone calls coming

in. Ya think I'm gonna meet that guy Harrigan.

Well, I am. I'm gonna meet

him if I have to fly there.

Well, that's one way your public

hasn't seen you. Don't be funny.

I'll lift it up.

Just put it under.

Easy. Okay.

Mmm. What large

and sinewy muscles.

Where is that room

they got here for me?

And I got here before I discovered

I'd left my briefcase in Washington.

If you'll go get it, I'll see to it

that it's worth your while.

Sure, Mr. Morgan. Boy, you

don't know how you make me feel.

Let him in.

Yes, madame.

Mavis, you look

charming. Don't I always?

Yes, but particularly so now.

I suppose it's the country air.

Mmm. Well, we'll be

leaving in the morning.

Why the hurry? I like it here.

In fact, my type should get

better acquainted with farm life.

And here's something else

that may upset your plans a bit.

The young man you saw

through the window-

The young man with the large

and sinewy muscles...

has just left

for Washington.

Why, you cheap-

Keep it up. I'd like these country folk to

get a load of their favorite star in action.

- Clyde just got back from Gettysburg with the

coil, Mr. Morgan- - [ thought you went to Washington.

[ intended to, but Clyde

wanted to go, so [ sent him.

Would you mind

coming down to the car?

Yes, and as far as I'm concerned, Morgan,

you can keep goin' down and down and down.

Miss Arden's in her

room, I suppose? Yes, sir.

She's gone upstairs to rest.

If I were you, I'd try to discourage

any ideas she may have of coming outside.

The people here tell me that the

weather has been terrible for colds, and-

I wouldn't want Miss Arden to

injure her voice. You understand?

Yes, I think I do, sir.

I thought you would.

Thank you, sir.

I think it's practically a miracle that

you're right here in this very room,

and I saw you only last night

in Washington.

It's the most thrilling thing

that's ever happened to me.

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