Goal! Page #4

Don't become something you're not.

Well. My life's already changed.

Just by being here.

I grew up on a council estate with a dad

on the dole and a mum on the booze.

Change is fine with me.

I remember you now.

- You're the one with the toe.

- What?

You had fungus behind your big toenail.

- What? Did you have to mention that?

- Oh. Man.

I guess in your job.

You must see the whole team naked?

- I know what you're gonna say.

- I'm not gonna ask who has the biggest.

- OK. What were you gonna ask?

- Who has the smallest?

It must be you. Because she cannot tell us.

- Go on. Come on.

- Mark him. Mark him.

Space. Hit space.

Stick with him.

- Remember what I told you.

- Here. Here.

OK. Pass. Pass the ball.

Pass it.

Why didn't you pass the ball. Man?

Hey. Mal.

Munez.

Come here.

Hey. Lads. Over here.

Come on. Gather round.

Hey. Mal. Give me five minutes.

- OK. Boss.

- Thank you.

So when I say go. I want you

to run as fast as you can to the goal.

- OK?

- Yeah.

Go.

Come back.

Again. Go.

What did you learn?

- That you can score from halfway.

- No.

That the ball can travel faster than you.

Here. We pass the ball.

You understand that?

We're a unit. Not a one-man show.

The name on the front of the shirt is

more important than the one on the back.

- OK?

- Yeah.

- Santi.

- Hey.

This is the final countdown

for Newcastle Utd.

Only three games left this season.

And to qualify for Europe

in the Champions League.

And all the riches that go with that.

They'll have to win them all - starting today.

Oh. Man.

Never an easy team to beat. Chelsea.

- Well-coached. Well-drilled.

- They certainly are.

The game. Yeah.

I'm with Gavin's girlfriend.

I'll call you back.

Lads.

Toon. Toon.

Black and white army.

Toon. Toon. Black and white army.

Toon. Toon. Black and white army.

How's that possible?

For all their possession.

You have to say

Newcastle haven't yet created

one clear-cut chance.

- He's fading.

- Aye.

By a brilliant sense of positional play.

He's avoided contact with the ball.

- Well. Maybe he's playing hurt.

- No. He's hungover.

- Right. Get him off.

- Shola.

Now. This looks quite bad for Newcastle.

The last thing they need is another injury.

They've already got

several walking wounded out there.

Number ten off. Mate.

Free kicks and get far post at corners.

Wait a second.

It's Gavin Harris who's coming off.

What? Me?

He's taking Gavin off.

What the hell is he thinking about?

What are you thinking about.

You German twat?

Substitution for Newcastle United.

- What are you doing?

- Sit down.

Only five minutes left to play.

Still no score.

Chelsea still have the upper hand.

Goal. They've got one at last.

And it's Patrick Kluivert.

- Evening. Mr Dornhelm.

- Good night. Sir.

Yeah.

What are you doing here?

Are you hurt?

- No. No. No. No. I got great news.

- What?

I made the reserve squad.

- Oh. That's great.

- I've only one week left on my trial.

This game is make-or-break. If the boss

sees me do well. He'll keep me on.

- I'm sure he will.

- Do you play for Newcastle?

- Yeah.

- Well. Sign your name on that.

OK.

They'll all be asking

for your autograph soon.

Will that bother you?

What is your problem with footballers?

I don't have a problem with football.

It's fame I have a problem with.

It's my dad's fault. He was in a rock band

that got hot for five minutes.

- No way. Would I know him?

- I doubt it. I was only three.

Anyway. The point is.

Some of the players remind me of him.

One minute they're nice.

Uncomplicated guys

and the next they're ridiculously rich

arseholes who walk out on their families.

It was my mother who left mine.

- Why? What happened?

- My father never talks about it.

All I remember

is his anger and his drinking.

He's never seen me play.

I love that game. Love football.

Every night after school

and Sundays after church. I'd play.

All I hoped was that one day.

Football could be my whole life.

Why did you have to come so far

to make it happen?

For that. You have to ask the saints.

Why don't you tell him. Grandma?

Tell me what?

Santiago called me.

He sounds very happy.

Tell him about the game.

He's playing tomorrow night

for the reserve team.

After just three weeks.

That's fantastic. No?

He left like a thief.

Without saying goodbye.

Why should I care?

Ey-up. Lads.

Sit down. Pay attention.

Dagger's hamstring is holding up.

So we'll give him a half.

Santiago. I want you on the right flank.

Track the number eight.

He's a slippery bugger.

- I'll translate that for you later.

- Jamie.

I want you to slot in behind the two strikers.

Remember. Don't let 'em

panic you into playing football.

- Howay.

- Right. Come on. Let's go.

Let's kick some arse. Fellas.

Come on. Boys.

Let's go. Let's do this.

Reserve Game

Newcastle United V Manchester United

What's that?

What's wrong with him?

Right. Let's have a look.

Let's have you back.

Jackie. How are we?

Santiago. Get back.

Here. Mate. Do you wanna put on

a red shirt? You're having a shocker.

You all right?

- I think that's enough.

- I think you're right.

OK.

Go and get yourself an early bath. Son.

What's the matter?

Are you hurt?

Been out on the town?

Is there something

you want to tell me. Son?

OK.

I don't know. Santi.

I know you've got the skill.

But maybe you don't have the pace

or the stamina for the English game.

Maybe you'd be better off

playing back in LA.

I'm gonna have to let you go. Son.

- Yes?

- Does Roz live here?

Rosie. It's for you.

Oh. God.

Mam. I'm a wreck.

Are you the young man from LA?

Yes. Santiago.

- She'll be down in a minute.

- Thank you.

- Can I get you anything. Pet?

- No. Thank you.

I went there years ago

when my husband's band was on tour.

We stayed at the Hyatt House on Sunset.

Called it the Riot House in those days.

- Aren't you meeting your friends?

- No mad rush.

Nice to meet you. Santiago.

Nice to meet you. Ma'am.

- I love that name.

- Off you go.

- What's wrong?

- I lied to you.

At the physical.

- I have asthma.

- OK. Well. Have you told them?

If I had. They wouldn't have given me a trial.

- So tell them now.

- Too late.

- They fired me.

- Oh. Sant.

I'm so sorry.

I came to say goodbye.

- You're leaving?

- Tomorrow.

- Why so soon?

- I don't belong here if I'm not in the team.

Well. You can find another team.

I guess I was just...

I was just dumb to think

I could make this work.

- Worst thing is I've let people down.

- No.

- Who. Pet?

- Glen.

My grandma. My grandma.

This happens to players all the time.

It's part and parcel of the game.

No. We...

We hardly know each other.

Sh*t.

- Aren't you...

- No.

I can see why they took you off last week.

You're shite.

Been shagging them Armitage sisters?

Well. You're not the first.

- Paradise Taxis.

- I need one. Urgent. This is Gavin Harris.

And I'm Clint Eastwood. Make my day.

But I'm serious.

This is me. I need a ride. Pronto.

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