Goat Page #5

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drop today, boys.

[laughter]

You smell like sh*t.

You guys smell worse

than the goat.

Hey, it's all

gonna be worth it.

In the name of Phi Sig,

you're cleansed.

[indistinct conversation]

Drink out of

the f***ing bottle.

Go again. Go again.

One more.

[guys hollering]

A little surprise

or a big one?

We got something special

in store for you.

-That's my limp dick

in your f***ing face.

-F***!

You're gonna suck

my f***ing dick.

Get the f***

out of---

Don't you

f***ing stop...

Don't you f***ing

push against me.

Come on.

Shut the f*** up.

-Oh, you're good at that.

-[laughter]

Suck my f***ing dick.

You're good at that.

Look at this

f***ing f*ggot.

You know what's coming?

Does that feel nice?

Does that remind you

of high school?

Is that what you did?

Here you go.

Come on.

Suck my f***ing...

F***ing f*ggot.

Come on.

Open your mouth.

F*** this sh*t?

Shut the f*** up

and suck my dick.

Do it, you f***ing p*ssy.

Come on.

Suck my f***ing dick.

[all singing]

Phi Sig had

a little goat.

Little goat, little goat.

Phi Sig had

a little goat

that you will f*** tonight.

Phi Sig had

a little goat

Little goat, little goat.

Phi Sig had

a little goat

that you will

f*** tonight

Come on.

Let's go, let's go.

[guys hollering]

[guy] Get in there.

F***ing get in there.

Yeah, lock the f***ing door.

[imitating goat bleating]

[laughing]

[door opening]

All right, you goat fucks.

Wake the f*** up.

-Let's go.

-[whistling]

Let's go.

Up against the wall here.

Let's go.

Up against the wall.

Get in the corner.

In the corner.

Turn the f*** around.

[clamoring]

[clamoring continues]

You got f***ing Lando here.

[laughing and cheering]

[guys cheering]

Get him. Go!

[cheering and hollering]

Get the f*** up.

Yeah!

[Chance] Listen up.

You guys have three hours

to finish this keg of f***ing

warm, delicious beer.

What you gotta do,

you gotta ring that bell

when you're done.

Okay?

If you fail,

I can 100% promise you

you're gonna have to

f*** this goat.

Start the music.

-[heavy metal music playing]

-Go!

[door shuts]

Fill it up.

Fill it up.

Come on, guys.

-Who else? Who else?

-Give me more.

Come on.

One way to go.

I can't f***ing...

Do it.

[music stops]

[groans]

[retching]

It's f***ing tapped.

We tapped it.

It's tapped.

It's tapped!

Two, three...

-[rings bell]

-[all cheering]

[all] Whoo!

[banging on door]

[guys hollering]

-Yeah!

-[ululating]

[clamoring]

[ululating]

[all cheering]

[all whooping]

[echoing]

[indistinct conversations]

[Chance] All right.

Shut the f*** up.

Shut the f*** up.

Listen to your pledge master.

[Dixon] Okay.

You guys just

completed Hell Week.

Now you don't have to wear

your pledge shirts anymore.

Thank f***ing God,

because you guys

f***ing stink.

-[laughter]

-F***!

However, you're far

from brothers.

Okay? You still have

the rest of the semester to

be our little b*tches.

As you know,

this is your Bordelia Dochet

Throw King James

out the window,

this is your new Bible.

Because of the recent

accusations

from our Greek brothers

and the Delta Beta Gama house,

those f***ing

p*ssy-ass retards.

We are obligated to read

a passage from this b*tch.

"The Bordelia Dochet maintains

that hazing is

fundamentally at odds

with the ideals of

the Phi Sigma Mu.

Hazing runs contrary

to our core concepts

of brotherhood,

and is prohibited

in all forms.

Any activities intended to

produce harassment,

embarrassment,

blah, blah, blah,

f*** all, will not

be tolerated."

Our initiation is

a rite of passage,

gentlemen.

That's all.

Are we clear on that?

[all] Sir, yes, sir.

Okay.

[guys] I swear allegiance

to God and Phi Sigma Mu.

All my strength is

in my union.

All my danger is in discord.

Therefore, we at

peace henceforth,

and as brothers

live together.

[bagpipe music playing]

[cheers and applause]

[chuckles] You ready?

It was all in good fun, bro.

-Don't worry.

-Sorry.

Tinsley couldn't make it.

Who?

Tinsley, your big brother.

He had like a Spanish

exam or something.

I don't know.

Where's Brad?

You know Brad.

Good job, man.

Mmm, motherf***er.

You excited?

I wanna see you smile.

Yeah? There we go.

That's a f***ing smile.

Hey, what's up, man?

What's wrong with you?

Uh, nothing really.

It's just...

I don't think they're

gonna let me in.

What are you

talking about?

Of course you're

gonna get in.

We both are.

Why would they

give me Chance though,

you know?

The dude literally

hates me.

He said to my face

that I don't belong here.

F*** him.

It's not his decision, man,

all the brothers vote equally.

I just feel like a p*ssy.

The dude scares

the sh*t out of me.

Maybe you should

just quit.

I can't quit.

Why not?

The same reason

you can't quit.

I have no f***ing idea

why I don't quit.

Yeah, you do.

Everybody does.

Dude, if you quit,

what else is there?

You know? You just

another guy that

couldn't hack it.

And everywhere you go,

everyone's gonna know that.

That's not true.

Bullshit. Yeah, you can't even

go to a party on campus

without seeing them.

It's just the way it is.

I'm having sex for

the first time in my life.

You know I'm not stupid.

Brad, that's not because

of me.

You know,

if the fraternity goes,

everything goes with it.

Don't give up, man.

Hey, we just got

pinned, right?

We're fine.

We're fine.

Where you going?

To clear my head.

I'll see you

back at the room.

Hey.

What's your f***ing

problem, man?

What?

"What?"

Why are you acting like

such a f***ing a**hole

to me?

Whatever, man.

No, I'm f***ing

serious, man.

Why, because I didn't feel

like coming to some

bullshit ceremony?

Why the f*** was Wes

the one pinning me tonight,

and not you?

You're lucky it was Wes.

They wanted to give you Dixon

and I stopped them.

What, you think I can't

f***ing handle Dixon?

F*** you, man.

You are un-f***ing-believable.

Can you get out of

my room now, please?

No. Not until you tell me

what's going on with you.

Nothing's going on.

Nothing.

This sh*t

doesn't f***ing matter.

That's what you don't get.

Okay?

None of this sh*t matters

at all.

This sh*t f***ing

matters to me.

-Don't f***ing push me.

-What are you gonna do?

You gonna f***ing

kick my ass?

-I'm not gonna fight you.

-Why not?

Why not?

Just say it, goddammit!

Because you don't

belong here.

You don't f***ing

belong here.

This is not for you.

Okay.

-Hey...

-No, that's what I thought.

[metal music playing]

Give me some room.

Give me some room.

[guys] Oh!

Can't let Baity win.

Land, you goat f***.

You're a dead man.

Get up against the wall.

No.

I'm sorry. I think...

There's something

in my f***ing ear.

What did you say to me?

F*** you,

I'm not doing that.

I'm not asking.

You do it,

or you're f***ing

out of here.

Uh-oh, Land.

Are you being

a naughty goat?

[bleating]

-[guys] Oh!

-Sh*t!

Head shot, b*tches.

Hundred point. Mark it,

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