Goat Page #4

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-Say it again.

-Why the f***, you ass.

I'm a f*ggot

and nobody likes me.

Say it like

you mean it, though.

Say it with feeling.

I'm a f*ggot

and nobody likes me.

Open your f***ing mouth.

Turn your head to me,

right now.

You're gonna drink,

motherf***er.

Pushups!

I don't let no weak

motherfuckers in my frat!

Get the f*** up.

Against the f***ing wall.

Headstands!

Get your f***ing knees up!

Get your f***ing knees up!

Spread the f*** out,

you faggots.

Get the f*** away from him.

You wanna

go on a date with him?

Spread the f*** over.

Get back.

Take it, take it,

take it.

having a good time?

Sir, no, sir.

Sir, no, sir.

On the ground!

Face on the ground.

[indistinct clamor]

[indistinct yelling]

F***ing boy!

You should be

ashamed of yourselves.

[indistinct clamor]

Get it over here.

Hurry the f*** up.

Bring it down.

Here we go, Brad.

[indistinct yelling]

[boy] That was cute.

That's one, you guys.

You got a whole

barrel full.

[laughter]

I wanna hear, "Thank you,

sir, may I please

have another?"

Thank you,

sir, may I please

have another?

[boy] Here we go.

Nice and cute smiles.

Guantanamo style.

There we go.

Got it.

Fetch the b*tch.

[laughing]

He's f***ing gone.

-You're gonna puke, bro?

-Sir, no, sir.

-Are you sure?

-Sir, no, sir.

If you lie to me,

I'm gonna do

terrible sh*t to you.

Sir, no, sir.

That wasn't a question.

All right, motherf***er.

You ready?

Don't you puke.

I think he's actually

gonna be good.

[all exclaiming]

Yo!

Not f***ing cool.

Yo, get in the cage.

Get in the f***ing cage.

Get in the cage, now.

F***er.

Yo, lick that sh*t

off my shirt. F*ggot!

Yeah, lock that sh*t.

Yo, that's

f***ing disgusting.

Everybody else,

against the wall.

Get against the wall.

Yo, give me that.

Give me that.

Come on, b*tch.

Go in the cage.

[guy] You thirsty?

[guy hooting]

You like them

golden showers, boy?

Look at those

golden showers.

[guys hooting and cheering]

Hey, get that side as well.

Rock a by, Fitch.

F*** you.

Rock a by, Fitch.

Goodnight.

Morning, goats.

Time to get the f***

out of our house.

Get the f***

out of our house!

Let's go!

Get the f*** up!

Get the f*** out of here!

[guys hollering]

[echoing]

Brad, get the f*** up!

[hollering continues]

[spits]

Let me ask you a question.

What the f*** happened

in there?

I don't f***ing know, dude.

Okay. Well, Dixon's looking

for a reason to kick your

ass out today.

Okay? It's just

I cheated for you.

-What?

-This sh*t cannot happen.

Dude, I didn't f***ing

ask for your help in there.

I didn't ask

for your help.

Look, I wouldn't do

this myself, all right?

They just f***ing do this

to weed out the weak ones.

Show 'em you mean business.

Show 'em you wanna be here.

Okay.

All right?

You got to be tougher.

-You can do this, dude.

-I know.

I f***ing will be.

-Come on. Let's go.

-Good.

All right.

Hey, man.

You all right?

I was gonna

go get some pizza,

if you wanna come.

Oh, man. Brad.

I didn't know this

happened to you.

Sh*t, dude.

Sick of feeling scared

like all the time,

you know.

Hey, I'm sorry that

happened to you, man.

It's crazy.

[Brett] Brad?

Brad?

Bradley?

Wake up!

Get this goat.

You know what

goats eat, right?

Goats eat sh*t.

What? Go back

in your room.

[guy] Time to eat sh*t,

goat motherf***er.

[Brad] No, no, no, no!

What the f***, dude!

Get down.

Grab it.

-Grab the--

-Stop that, dude!

Grab the sh*t.

Grab it.

[groaning]

You're not leaving

till you taste

some sh*t, b*tch.

Get that sh*t...

It's just a f***ing...

[laughter]

You f***ing a**holes.

Whoo!

Yo, where's your roommate?

Where's Fitch the b*tch, man?

I want my goat.

He's got

f***ing class, man.

[guy] All right.

I got to get to class, too.

Just getting started.

[laughter]

You all right?

Yeah.

Thanks, man.

-[knocks]

-Lando.

Yo.

What's up, dude?

Yo, we're going

to the farm.

You, uh...

What are you doing?

What's "the farm"?

What are you

talking about?

Getting the

f***ing goat, dude.

Yo, I thought

that was a joke.

No, no. Baity found one

this year.

It's f***ing happening.

Got it. Got it.

Is this pledge getting

weirder this year?

"Weirder?"

I don't know. Harder?

What...

Is that a f***ing joke?

No, man. It's just...

J-Town put a cigarette out

on my ass last year

in front of the Tri Delts.

The pledgers got

to go through hell,

otherwise what's...

what's the f***ing point,

right?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

You're right, man.

[Baity]

Hustle, b*tches.

[guy 1] Hurry the f*** up!

[guy 2] You boys are gonna

meet your f***ing maker.

[Baity] Step up.

Step up. Step up.

This is just the beginning.

You shouldn't be f***ing

this up hard already.

One too many

f***ing pancakes.

[indistinct chiding]

[guy] Yo, move your sh*t.

[indistinct clamor]

Hold up, hold up, hold up.

Jesus Christ,

you're f***ing ugly.

Good...

Straight f***ing line.

None of this crooked fruity

bullshit. Let's go.

Straight f***ing line.

All right, b*tches.

We'll play

a little game, okay?

Who was...

the first president of

the United States?

George Washington, sir.

Wrong, drink.

[laughter]

Who shot John F. Kennedy?

-I--

-Wrong. Drink.

[laughter]

What are the colors...

of the American Flag?

Red, white and blue, sir.

Wrong.

[laughter]

Hey, I didn't tell you

to f***ing drink!

Look at me when

I'm talking to you, goat.

I want you to slap

Brad in his face.

That's your punishment.

[guy] Oh, no.

What?

Slap Brad in the f***ing face.

Are you deaf?

Slap him in the face.

[guy] He won't do it.

-[Dixon] Oh, f***!

-[guys snickering]

Are you trying

to finger f*** it?

I want you to

f***ing get in there.

Slap his f***ing face!

[guys] Oh!

Jesus Christ!

You're just gonna stand there

and let him slap you

in the face?

Your balls drop yet?

What the f***!

-[guys] Oh!

-There you go.

Again!

There you f***ing go.

Yeah! Yeah!

There you go!

Okay. The goats

are worthy now.

Dixon!

F***ing stop, dude.

They did it.

They f***ing did it, okay?

Good?

-You good?

-All right.

You guys are good.

[Dixon] Drink.

Both of you.

[all hollering]

[hollering continues]

[mock bleating]

[Chance] All right,

motherfuckers.

Here's what's gonna

happen, okay?

You guys look nervous.

You don't have to

be nervous.

This is really simple, okay?

We all did this.

Everybody has to

do this, okay?

It's really simple.

Here's what's

gonna happen.

First you're

gonna f*** 'em,

and then you're

gonna kill 'em,

together.

And then we're all

gonna eat 'em.

[all cheering]

[Chance] You ready

to f*** a goat?

You think I'm

f***ing around?

This isn't bullshit, man.

You ready to f*** a goat?

Take your pants off.

You think I'm f***ing around?

Take your pants off.

How are you gonna f*** a goat

with your pants on?

Tell me, Dave. How are you

gonna f*** a goat

with your pants on?

I don't know, sir.

You're not.

You're gonna f*** it

with your pants off.

[guy] Dave's balls are gonna

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