God Help the Girl Page #5

I've never shed a tear

to a Bowie record.

Uh, I'm sure he's really

going to be upset about that.

Yeah, well, it's important.

Music's meant

to move you or whether...

Okay, and then, James,

can you bring the guitars in?

One, two, three, four.

Come Monday night

the day of work is done

Tuesday morning looms

The grey of ordinariness

Start by putting

off your chores

and all the crushing bores

Say your morning prayers

Sing a rousing song

Then sing it

on the long walk home

Come Monday night

we're in a state of grace

Twenty million

boys are caught up

in a paper chase

If the weekend promised much

then it failed to touch

on a single count

what I was hoping for

What I was hoping for

Come Monday night

we turn the telly off

To listen to the silence

Light that comes

in from outside

If you could catch it all

and pin it to your wall

Then you will

sleep much better

Baby, you would

sleep much better

Maybe you would

sleep much better

Baby, you would

sleep much better

Maybe you would

sleep much better

Baby, you would

sleep much better

Maybe you would

sleep much better

Baby, you would

sleep much better

Maybe you would

sleep much better

So, is the band

going to have a name?

Oh, no, not a name conversation.

Why not a name conversation?

Don't you think it's stupid

just to give yourself a name

just because you sing songs?

What, so the Beatles

were stupid?

Well, they were kind of stupid

if they actually

stopped to think about it.

You definitely think too much.

You think the fun out of things.

I mean,

I... I'm a lifeguard,

I work at a pool

with three other guys.

We didn't give ourselves a name.

What, like the Lifeboys

or something?

That's pretty good.

Look, I just don't want

to have a name conversation.

It's a Saturday,

right now all over this town

hundreds of bands just like us

are having name conversations.

Thousands of punks,

Goths, psychobillies,

indie kids, rockers,

and just general knobheads

are just sitting there arguing

about what to call themselves.

I think you just hate people.

I don't mind people.

I just can't stand

collective idiocy.

Maybe we should have a name

that means something

really dirty

but nobody knows what it means,

like Pearl Jam or something.

What... what does

Pearl Jam mean?

Well, it's like,

you know, it's like spunk.

- What?

- Like jizz.

10cc, also named

after a man's excretion.

- Ew.

- What, how is that?

Because that's

like the average amount

that a man ejaculates,

ten ccs, yeah.

Who measures that?

I don't know, scientists.

- Scientists?

- Sperm scientists.

Ew.

...a self-absorbed prat.

I suppose with...

We're going out.

Who's going out?

Me and you.

- O.

- Yes, we are.

Come on.

What's happening in here?

Uh, in the Halls, I don't know.

We should look in.

Baby, it's time to get out

Twenty years incarceration

Twenty minutes

of elucidation

Hey, that's the guys.

You know, the guys

are playing on stage.

I've got an idea

It's gonna take

more than a year

Come on, let's dance.

Baby's just waiting

for the phone to ring

Did you know that

they played in here?

Just hopin' for some love

- Yup.

- Sneak.

Please look around you

We should tell

Cassie about this.

We should tell Cassie about him.

You dress like the '50s

You watch I Love Lucy

You fail in every category

of what a modern man should be

Is that Captain there?

Yeah, that's her, Jim.

Can I borrow her?

Yes, she's been here

for too long anyway.

Captain.

Go get Cassie.

Ladies and gents,

may I introduce Eve Carmichael.

Just another Saturday

The boys are dressed up fine

Think I'll wait

till half past eight

to dress myself divine

Ten-thirty

I'm in rags

A slutty look

accompanies my

questionable gaze

Through the strobe light

and the haze

Hey, Captain.

Take an interest in me

Why must I beg for a drink

Too verbose,

you come too close, sir

Please step back and think

That's the trouble

flesh attracts the leery look

Rarely does

the dream boy come along

He don't exist

A lover with

the candor of a friend

I run away

They're playing

a decent song at last

I think I'll have

to dance with Cassie

'cause the dream boy

never asked

Shuffle to the left

I kick the boy behind

to make a little room

Boogie to the right

Cassie dances madly

like a boxing kangaroo

Her little joey

buys the drinks

He's in love

more than he thinks

They know the dance too well

The bodies heavenly

Move around the autumn sky

with measured dignity

But my Venus and my Mars

are set to clash

The lover will

lay down his sword

and swear

He don't exist

A brother to me

when the chips were down

I run away

They're playing

a decent song at last

I think I'll have

to dance with Cassie

'cause the dream boy

never asked

Shuffle to the left

I kick the boy behind

to make a little room

Boogie to the right

Cassie dances madly

like a boxing kangaroo

Spinning on the spot

Hell do I care

what I look like

when I feel this good

I'll keep on dancing

Ahh ahh ahh

I'll keep on dancing

Ahh ahh ahh

I'll keep on dancing

Ahh ahh ahh

What do you make

of Cassie's little man?

Quite a pretty specimen.

She's gonna eat him up.

Is it true, they're gonna

let us play in a few weeks?

Yes, it's true.

We could do with

a few more songs, though.

Man, we're gonna

have our own show.

But you know I'm going

on holiday tomorrow, right?

What?

Since when? You never said

anything about a holiday.

I know, I buried it

'cause I was dreading it,

but there's no escape.

A week in Bordeaux

with the family,

it's gruesome.

- Hello.

- Hi.

This is James and Cassie.

This is Anton.

May I talk to you for a minute?

Sure.

Bye guys.

Who the f*** is he?

I'm just thinking about my tape

that you gave

to the radio station.

Mm-hm, what of it?

I just think I

should do it again.

It was too...

I don't know, it feels

like a long time ago.

I think I could do it

much better now.

No, it's okay.

How are you to know?

It sounded very naive.

You listened to it?

Well, yes, briefly.

Wow, you must

have listened to it

straight after I gave it to you.

Pretty soon, yeah.

You had a tape player

in the van?

One of the guys had

a radio cassette, yeah.

So you all heard it.

Those that were listening.

And this is before

you gave it to Findley?

I didn't give him the tape.

What, why?

Well, for a start it

was a little embarrassing.

What do you mean?

Nobody hands in cassettes,

especially not

to a radio station.

That's not the point.

It was from me for him

and he would have gotten it.

I don't think so,

and you could do better.

You said so yourself.

F***!

It was hard to listen to.

You need someone else

to play guitar, not you.

You need to record

with proper equipment.

You know, your words are

depressing and self-centered.

Your songs

are... are baby songs,

they are songs for children.

You're going to have to learn

to take criticism, you know.

F*** you!

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