Goddess

---

Oh!

Uhh!

Whoa! Ugh!

Ooh!

Stop!

Don't eat that!

It's cow poo! Yuck!

Put this down!

What were you doing?

You were eating cow poo!

Come on. Let's get you home.

Got to get you clean.

Come on.

Let's get you in the bath.

Get you all clean.

Sorry, Steve,

I'll milk you later.

Hi, Steve!

Come on.

You're so handsome.

You're so handsome!

Hey. It's me.

I can't wait to see you

and the boys.

I can't believe it's been

six weeks. Love you. 'Bye.

Jimmy. I can't believe

I missed your call.

It must have been while I was

wiping cow poo off our sons.

What time is the boat due in?

I'm dying to see you.

Hello! You're still not there.

You haven't moved back

to London on me, have you?

Potty now!

Now? Alright.

Wow, really? Oh! Hang on.

Where'd you get

Mummy's earplugs?

Eeeee...

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.

- Eeeee...

- Mummy! Mummy!

Yay, me, me!

Sorry, Zack,

just let Fred finish.

# 'Cause if

he doesn't drop his load

# Fred is going to explode! #

- Eeee...

- Finished!

All done? Come on, then.

Whee! Oh.

- No poo.

- All gone.

Zack, no!

Oh! Zack.

I need those.

- 'Cause who's coming home today?

- Daddy!

# Daddy boat,

Daddy boat, Daddy boat

# Daddy boat, Daddy boat,

Daddy boat... I

Hey. It's me.

There's a north wind trying to

blow us back to the Antarctic,

but I promise I'll be home

for dinner - can't wait.

- Boat!

- That's like Daddy's boat.

- Boat!

- We don't need this boat.

Because Daddy's coming home

on his great big boat.

We hope.

- Boat!

- I said no.

Come on! Come on!

- Boat! Boat!

- Boat!

Boat!

Boat! Boat!

Boat! Boat! Boat!

# When moon shines

# Its light on the sea

# Its golden path glistens

# The waves call and listen

# To children who sleep finally

# The night birds before us

# Sing softly in chorus

# And I clearly see... #

# I need a tantrum of my own

# Don't wanna raise

these kids alone

# I'm sick of being tough

# I feel I've had enough

# I need a tantrum of my own

# Waaaahhh!

# Waaaahhh

# Aaahh

# Aaahhhhh

A' Ah ha. A'

Ah. Uh...

Hey, crazy girl.

- Sorry I'm so late.

- Oh!

BOTH swam

- Been a big day, has it?

- Oh, baby.

You don't know

the half of it.

I love your smell.

- You have the best smell.

- Thanks.

- Wanna go to bed?

- Yeah.

Jimmy.

El...

Doesn't matter.

And now, Elspeth Dickens,

mother of twins...

...executes a triple half pike

with a twist of lemon.

Baby?

Baby?

- Mama! Mama!

- Oh! Hold that thought.

OK. You sit there,

you sit there. Alright. OK.

- Come on, Dad!

- Give it a kick!

# Doo-doo... #

- Yeah!

- Yes!

# Let's all do

the shimmie shake

# Shake it on way down low

# Shake it on high... #

We got about three minutes

till they're back in here.

Ah! That's stacks of time!

Peekaboo!

- Lads.

- Hi.

Hi.

Who wants to make

breakfast in bed for Mama?

- Me!

- Hey! Come on.

Huh?

- I'm on it, I'm on it.

- The stove.

- What? What?

- It's on.

- Careful, you'll step on the...

- Get them off the counter.

You put them next to

a burning stove!

What did you want me to do?

Put them on the floor

with the broken glass?

- Can you pass me a paper towel?

- Where are they?

In the drawer,

where they always are.

Mama's foot.

Yes, bubba,

Mama got some glass in it.

- Can I help?

- No.

- You've done enough.

- El, don't do this.

Maybe Dad'll take Fred and Zack

to feed the chooks

while Mama cleans up in here.

- I can clean.

- No, Mama will do it.

- What are we doing?

- It's OK.

We'll go feed the chooks.

Daddy will be there in a second.

- What's going on?

- Nothing.

You go away, you come back.

You vanish into the Antarctic

for weeks at a time

and I can't contact you.

That's the job.

Why don't I go record

the sounds of the whales?

You stay here and do my job.

Do you ever think about

what it's like

for me to be stuck here?

- No friends, no family.

- I know.

I know it wasn't much of a career,

but I miss doing my gigs.

- I know.

- Singing my little songs.

- I know!

- You don't!

Don't say you know

when you don't know.

You have your whales

and your work.

I've got one little boy

who won't take his wings off

and another

who refuses to defecate.

It's not forever.

- Remember the deal?

- Yeah, I remember.

Your deal.

The deal you proposed to me.

You look after the kids

till they start school,

then it's my turn.

They won't go to school

for another 8 billion years.

You said you wanted to support me

doing something important.

And I do.

You said you were sick of

singing to drunks in London pubs.

You wanted this. You loved

the idea of coming here.

Look around you.

It's beautiful.

Can you go check on the kids?

El, the whales are here,

and unless they start

swimming up the Thames...

You can't leave 'em alone in

the chicken coop. It'll be chaos.

Steven. Please don't eat

my succulents.

I'm gonna take the boys

into town.

Give you a break

for the day.

Thanks.

James?

Sorry.

Come on, lads!

In its hunt for

the dwindling whale population,

the commercial whaling fleet

is heading

to the Australian Antarctic

territory...

- They're out.

- Thanks.

Really, thank you.

These ships have entered

the sanctuary...

You know about this?

However, there is

no practical mechanism

for the government

to enforce that law,

leaving the whales

vulnerable to slaughter.

The Minister for the Environment

regrets the situation, but...

They called earlier.

Are there protest boats?

You're going with them,

aren't you?

Oh. I almost forgot.

So we can see each other

while I'm away. It's a webcam.

Better hurry up.

The ship's about to leave.

Jimmy, don't be too brave, OK?

James?

Jimmy?

Jimmy?

I'm here.

Hi. Yes.

I'm just trying to work out

whether I'm doing something wrong

or the ship is actually

out of contact.

Oh, I see.

Well...

I'll keep trying anyway.

Jimmy.

Jimmy?

I'm here!

I am here.

Zack! Fred! Nap time!

Right.

Set up streaming

in a few minutes.

Start building your audience.

Bollocks.

Oh, my God! I'm on!

I'm on!

# Welcome to my kitchen sink

# This is where

I stop and think

# Where I'm sometimes

on the brink

# Of madness

# Welcome to my washing-up

# My 40,000th coffee cup

# A place that knows

my every sulk

# And sadness

# Here I'm stuck

night after night

# Here I plot

revenge and flight

# Here's the scene

of wifely compromise

# Pine O Cleen and Lemon Gleam

# The kitchen sink

is where I dream

# And where I fantasise. #

Hello.

My husband gave me this webcam

so that I could

communicate with him,

but he's not there.

So I've decided

to talk to you instead.

Well, sing, actually.

Hang on.

I'll go see if you're there.

You're not there.

I'm talking to myself again.

He was standing

in front of me

with this deadly serious face

and he absolutely looked like

his father.

So I said to him

in my best serious mother voice,

"Well, darling, that's because

Sophie doesn't have testicles!"

Sorry! My ball.

- So, what did he say?

- I dropped my ball.

Sorry, finish your story.

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