Going Berserk Page #8

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This is just no problem,

keep moving. This is

a low angle. That's all right.

Making a film.

Oh, this is beautiful.

This is great.

Just keep walking up.

That's fine. That's good.

Making magic down here.

It looks fabulous.

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here today...

Action!

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here today

to join John...

In a matter of moments

a union will take place

within these hallowed walls.

A union between

a man and a woman,

who just happens

to be the daughter of a guy

that could be

the next President

of the United States.

I'm Sal Di Pasquale,

and this is my film.

With this ring...

John and Nancy.

...I thee wed.

The wedding.

Okay, Bobby,

you can zoom in now.

That was great, Mr. Di...

Get out of the way!

And now, John, your vows?

John?

Well, I guess Nancy's vows

will suffice for both.

And now we'll continue

with the ceremony.

If anyone here

knows of any reason

why this couple should not

be bound in holy matrimony,

let him speak now

or forever hold his peace.

Do you,

Nancy Wilhelmina Reese...

Do you, Nancy Wilhelmina Reese

take this man,

John Franklin Bourgignon,

to be your lawful

wedded husband,

to have and to hold,

in sickness and in health,

from this day forward?

I do.

Do you,

John Franklin Bourgignon,

take this woman,

Nancy Wilhelmina Reese,

to be your lawful wedded wife,

to have and to hold,

in sickness and in health,

from this day forward?

Yeah.

With this ring, I thee wed.

Chick, it's all right,

I know what I'm doing!

Sal, stop those guys!

Block the aisle!

Get out of the way!

We're in a church.

Chick, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

How about you?

I'm not hypnotized. Look,

those cultists, they wanted

me to kill Ed Reese.

Yeah, I know.

Look, what happened?

They made me watch

some phony

Father Knows Best film.

I know TV.

Jim Anderson would

never choke the Beaver.

Johnny?

Oh, are you all right, Nance?

Didn't you just save

daddy's life?

Will somebody please tell me

what's going on?

Daddy, Johnny just

saved your life.

Dad, you owe me one.

Oh, my God!

Well, was I right

or was I right?

I told you this was

gonna be an incredible story,

and it was.

Can you believe

the way things work out?

Sal and Ed Reese are partners?

No!

All right, it's a hot day

out here, let's get it right

the first time, all right?

We can go home,

it's history. Ready?

One, two, three, four.

Loosen up! That's it. Smile.

Don't be afraid to smile.

You need to go with it.

Well, I'll tell you one thing,

I'm happy to have you here.

You know, hey, man, you know,

you ought to try some skin

softener or something, man.

That stuff look real hard.

You ought to take care of it.

One thing I wanna talk

to you about, though.

Now that the noodle factory

is a success, and after all,

I am the pasta king,

I think we ought

to try and diversify.

What I think we ought to do

is get into animal noodles.

We ought to make

little dog noodles

and little cat noodles.

We should get little lion

and little tiger noodles,

you know? Elephant noodles.

The kids will love it.

They'll eat it up.

And that's my plan, you see,

I'll get all the kids

going into the supermarkets

and they'll be buying

Wallissimo Jefferson noodles

and we will make a fortune.

Which reminds me,

guess who I saw on 33rd

and 3rd the other day?

Lefkowitz.

You remember Lefkowitz,

he a lawyer now.

Did it at home, too.

Correspondence course.

That boy was always smart.

He handles all

my affairs for me now.

Takes care of me legally.

As a matter of fact,

I don't mind saying

Lefkowitz is directly

responsible for the condition

I'm in today.

Two weeks ago we did my will.

I wanna show it to you.

I got it right here.

He told me to keep it

with me at all times.

You know like, just in case.

Here let me read this to you.

See, it say right here,

"I, Wallace A. Jefferson,

being of sound mind,

spent all my money. "

Ain't that good?

Wait till I die

and they read that.

That's wonderful.

Another thing I wanted

to talk to you about

is about my new idea.

I call it

Raiders of the Burning Bush.

You see, all we have

to do is find the spot

where the original

burning bush went down

and then we sell tickets

so people can go see it.

It's kind of like

the Lost Ark, especially what

we're gonna do with it, see.

Well, I think more people

would wanna see the spot

where the burning bush

went down.

Now, I know you might think

it sounds kind of far-fetched.

I know a lot of people

probably been looking for it

and everything,

but it's hard to find

because the bush burned down.

You and me, Muhammed.

I think we can do it.

And I bet you we could

make a fortune, too.

I know we can make enough

to buy me a new convertible,

after that dude stole it

from the noodle factory.

You hired the cat.

And don't,

don't go pretending

like you didn't hire him

because when he came

and asked for the job,

I turned to you and I said,

"Should we hire him or not?"

And I gave you the nudge

and you gave him the nod.

So you did hire the cat.

And you... I never brought

this up before.

But I'm bringing it up now

simply because it's gone.

So either you

go in with me on this

Raiders of the Burning Bush,

or I'm gonna have to

reconsider our partnership,

Muhammed.

That's enough for you

to drink, you know. Hey, look

here, I'm buying you a drink,

you sit there,

you eat, you waste it.

Come on, Muhammed.

That's all right,

leave it there,

I'll drink it myself.

The only trouble is,

every time I drink one

then I got to go again.

You never have to go. I mean,

I have two or three

and I'm off to the john.

Used to be a time

when I could hold

a whole case.

Now I have two

or three drinks, boom,

I got to go.

Guess I must be getting older.

Ain't nothing I can do

about it. I mean,

you can't stop time.

I mean, you see time

walking down the street.

You say, "Hey, Time, hold it.

I wanna rap to you. "

Time ain't gonna stop for you.

Time waits for no man.

Time will tell you,

"Sorry, I got to march on. "

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