Golden Earrings

---

Afternoon, Mr Smith.

Afternoon, Mr Munroe.

- Hello, Bert.

- Hello, Gus.

- Lovely afternoon. Hmph!

- Not 'alf, it ain't.

- Hello, Mr Miggs.

- Hello, young fellow, me lad.

What you got there?

- Package for Major General Denistoun.

- Retired.

Oh. Been chasin' 'im 'alf over

the bloomin' country, that 'as.

- Oh, it has? I'll see that he gets it.

- [Bell Dings]

- Thanks, chum.

- Righto.

Here you are, Horace.

Give that to Major General Denistoun.

And this here, kindly hand it to

Mr Quentin Reynolds. Do you know him?

Yes. [Sniffles]

He's the American.

All right, hop along now.

And blow your

blinkin'nose, will you?

[Sniffles]

- Food is pretty scarce, though.

- Mr Quentin Reynolds?

- Yes.

- Telegram, sir.

- Thank you, son. Excuse me, boys.

- Thank you.

Yes, certainly.

- Beg pardon, sir.

- Yes?

- Package, sir.

- Oh, thank you, Horace.

Well, I'll be damned.

His ears are pierced.

That's what we've been

telling you, old boy.

Yes, but a man like Denistoun.

Old school tie. Sandhurst.

A general with his ears

pierced like a gypsy.

Why, it's fantastic.

What's the idea?

No one has ever had

the cheek to ask him.

He was in Europe

when the war broke out.

Came home

and there they were.

Must have been black magic.

He came home a changed man.

Used to be a most

frightful stuffed shirt.

Quite a nice old chap now.

I say, what's the rush?

Oh, this. I have to grab

a 5.30 plane for Paris.

But look, if either of you boys

get the lowdown on Denistoun's ears...

- drop me a line, will ya?

- Be glad to, if and when.

- Fine.

- Well, so long, Reynolds.

- And thanks for everything.

- So long, man.

I'll be seeing you.

- Nice fellow... for an American.

- Hmm.

Right. Right you are.

Righto.

Bit of a mob on that Paris plane, sir,

but I finally wangled it.

Oh, you're wonderful, Miggs.

You're beautiful!

I love you, Miggs!

Come, let me give you a kiss.

You'd better hurry, sir.

That is, if you're going to pack.

Thank you, Miggs.

- Why don't you ask me and have it over?

- What?

- At least you'll admit you're curious.

- Curious?

- Why, curious about what?

- My ears.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean-

Oh, come, come.

Own up.

Well, all right.

But it is odd, you know.

What I mean is, they look

like they've been pierced for earrings.

Do they really?

By Jove, they probably do.

Well, well.

- I was wondering if you'd

mind talking about it.

- Not at all. Not at all.

Then why has it been

top secret for so long?

For the very simple reason

that nobody's ever asked me.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Let's go back a bit.

How did you know

that I was thinking about your ears?

- How did you know?

- Well, that's part of my story.

There's a woman in it, of course.

A woman of such extraordinary

accomplishments that I-

well, it all started

shortly before war broke out.

I was in Germany. A prisoner.

Before the war? A prisoner?

Yes, I was a lieutenant colonel then.

And together with a youngster

named Byrd was on a special mission.

Very hush-hush, you know.

Not at all in my line, exactly...

except that I spoke

German like a native.

We were trying to nail

a poison gas formula.

Something new. An appalling

by-product of Nazi frightfulness.

Anyway, I don't think

I was very good...

because the blighters knocked us off

like a couple of sitting pheasants.

And we were being held

for questioning, Byrd and I...

in a farmhouse

not very far from Weimar.

[Denistoun] One way and another,

we were in a pretty tight spot.

Our guards, an S.S. First lieutenant

and a couple of troopers...

were as pretty a crew

of cutthroats as ever you saw.

There was also an official

of the Geheime Staatspolizei.

A dreadful fellow named Hoff.

Oh, he was a horror!

He'd questioned us

more than once and we knew.

Young Byrd called him

"Jack the Ripper."

J felt particularly sorry for young Byrd.

Nicest chap imaginable.

His affection for me was positively

touching. A sort of hero worship.

Used to embarrass

the devil out of me.

Though why he liked me

J'll never know.

Looking back, J must have been

a pretty offensive sort of fellow.

You know, pre-war army.

Spit-and-polish.

"Stand to attention when you address

an officer. "All that sort of thing.

Anyhow, we'd planned to escape,

and this was the night.

This was it.

Wasn't much of a plan.

Odds against it coming off...

were about

a thousand to one.

We'd chosen this particular

night to escape...

because Hitler was going

to broadcast from Munich...

and a pretty safe bet his laddie boys

downstairs would listen in.

J didn't know about Byrd,

but personally J was scared stiff.

I don't know about you,

but personally I'm in an absolute sweat.

- Positively trickling, sir.

- [Dog Barking]

## [Triumphal Music On The Radio]

Well, here we go.

- Let's hope only one comes up.

- More than one, we're sunk.

[Hitler, Crowd On Radio]

Sieg heil! Sieg heil!

- Sieg heil!

- Why doesn't somebody throw him a fish?

Sieg heil!

- [Hitler On Radio] Wir mussten-

- [All] Heil Hitler!

... in der minoritaet belieben

wir die wertvollsten...

- elemente des kampfes

und des opfersinns...

- [Dog Barking]

- In der nation mobilisierten die,

die zu allen zeiten nicht...

- [Dog Barking]

- Ah! That dog! Why doesn't somebody-

- shh!

[Hitler]

Die minderheit ausgemacht haben.

Ja. Ja.

- [Crowd Applauding On Radio]

- [Banging]

- Zweig!

- [Banging Stops]

[Hitler]

Weil dieser beste rassenwert-

[Dog Barking]

They're coming, sir.

[Hitler]... mutig und kuehn die

fuehrung des reiches-

Pfeiffer, see what's the matter

with that dog! Pfeiffer!

[Hitler]

...groesserer zahl dieser fuehrung...

angeschlossen und unterstellt.

I say, look!

There's something frightfully wrong!

- J saw him put something

in his mouth. Then he-

- [Zweig] What was it?

- He said it was an aspirin.

- Aspirin! Where would he get aspirin?

And then he had a sort of fit.

His heart's hardly beating!

You're a stupid English swine!

If he's taken poison,

if he's dead, I'll-

[Crowd Cheering,

Applauding On Radio]

[Hitler] Wer sich als traeger seines

besten blutes fuehlt...

und dieses wissen zur fuehrung

der nation erhoben hat...

und entschlossen ist diese

fuehrung zu behalten.

Wahrzunehmen und nicht-

[Crowd Cheering]

Where is Obersturmfuehrer Zweig?

He's upstairs.

He told me to go see about that dog.

You imbecile!

Get back up there!

All right, you blighters!

Take off the uniform.

Tie him up.

I say, old boy.

You can't do that, you know.

[Hitler On Radio]

Von ihnen wird mehr gefordert als von-

- Get on with it, man!

- Sorry.

- Hurry up!

...den millionen der

uebrigen volksgenossen.

[Denistoun] We stole Hoff's car,

a big, black brute of a Mercedes...

and heading for Stuttgart,

drove all night.

One thought cheered us.

They couldn't broadcast a general

alarm for two Englishmen...

without tipping off

the British embassy.

Jt would have to be

a private manhunt.

However, sooner or later,

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