Golden Years Page #5

As lovely as it's been in years.

What about you?

Normal service resumed.

I wanna do press briefings

and TV appearances.

Purely to let them know

that we're on to them...

...and make them think.

I think we can safely say

that they'll be a little worried...

...that they've met their match.

Jesus!

I've written up assignments

for you all.

Not for you, Sid.

You've done the donkey work here.

You can take a rest for a while.

Ride shotgun with me.

Sod this!

Sid.

Hold on.

Sid.

Come on, you're bigger than this.

That's the point, son. I'm not.

Sid!

My Shirls and me discovered

a little pot of gold...

...we never knew we had.

Brought us right back

from the brink.

Brian, here, he only went

and got given a grand.

-Really? What for?

-No, it's nothing really.

It's just some money

to train new apprentices.

But, you know, it means

I can keep the place going...

...that's for sure.

Hello, can we help?

I'm looking for Arthur Goode.

I'm an Arthur Goode.

Name's Taylor.

Represent the Danville family

that own the land on...

...which this establishment

currently sits.

Sent you a letter some weeks ago

about the tenancy.

The family that own the land

want to sell it...

...and gave the club first refusal.

The auction's coming up soon...

...and if we can't buy it

we lose our club.

There's nothing you could

of done anyway.

As you said before...

...there's no way

the club could afford it.

Yeah, I know.

I just wish I hadn't let myself

get so distracted.

I mean this place...

...it's not just a club

where people come to play...

...bowls or bingo

or have a few drinks.

It's more than that.

I mean looks at Sylvie here.

She comes here every day.

Talking to people, seeing people.

If it wasn't for that...

...she wouldn't have any proper

human contact at all week.

And Frank here...

...he can barely afford

to feed himself.

Phil gives him a job

collecting glasses...

...and gets him a few bob.

Makes sure he gets a good meal.

This is more than a social club,

Martha.

It's a lifeline for some people.

It's coming. Don't worry.

We can't let it be destroyed.

Because they'll be destroyed

along with it.

How much do we need?

A damn sight more than

we've taken already.

Quickly too.

There's only a week

before the auction.

Come on. Let's invite the gang

back to ours.

You can bore them with our photos.

Steady!

Blimey!

She really is a beauty.

-Yes.

This shining carriage set

in a sea of grey.

This steed of champions,

this Valencia Getaway.

Blimey!

-Hello.

-Come in.

I'll let you take your coat off.

There you go.

Thank you.

So, where is he?

The old chap.

What have you done with him?

He couldn't help it,

when he saw the caravan...

...he said it's his Romany blood

and it's been like that...

...since they did Carmen.

And then he had to have

a nose around.

Well, he can look all he wants.

Well, he's not just looking at it,

he's in it.

We'll understand...

...if you wish to rethink

your friendships with us.

We know we've broken the law.

But how? I get confused

just using the bank's website.

You're a pair of bloody geniuses.

That's what you are.

I'd like to give you a great

big kiss, both of you.

You count me in. I've always

wanted to play Robin Hood.

Royston, it's not really

quite like that.

No, Martha, dear, in for a penny,

in for a million.

That's what I say.

It'll be my finest performance yet.

Royston. Shouldn't we talk?

Remember what the doctor said

about over exerting.

Now, come on, Shirl.

Now's the time to stand up

and be counted with them.

Just think of the fun we can have.

"Pools accumulator!"

Very funny!

Brian?

Chicken?

Look, I've pulled your a..e

out of the fire...

...every time you've dropped

a cigar down your trousers!

But, this...

...well, it's not just about me

I've got my apprentices

to think about.

Haven't you worked it out yet,

you daft besom?

This couple, who butter

wouldn't melt in their mouth...

...the secret investors

in your apprentice scheme.

Royston, stop your bullying.

Look, Royston doesn't bully me.

He just talks louder than I do.

I know you all think

I'm the quiet one...

...but that doesn't mean

there isn't stuff going on.

And it is a bloody silly idea...

...but I understand

why you're doing it.

And actually I think you're being

very brave.

Stupid, but brave.

And if anyone's able to think

straight...

...and keep you out of jail,

then that's me.

So if you think I'm gonna

let you rob a million quid...

...or whatever it is without me

to keep you out of trouble...

...then you're wrong.

Arthur, we're in.

What's the plan?

Sodbury.

It's where they keep the money

for the bankers' bonuses.

What they call their

"Golden Years" retirement fund.

Cheeky sods.

I love it.

They may take our lives...

...but they can never take

our pensions.

They already have.

They may take our pensions

but they can never take our lives.

Nance, you broke the yolk.

You noticed that, did you?

Nancy, what's the matter?

What's the matter?

Nancy, wait love.

Maybe I should go

and rob a bloody bank...

...then you'd notice me.

-Nance!

I don't bloody believe it.

It's them in that bloody caravan.

Bingo!

Dial it up, Shaz.

Let's go Tropical Truffle!

Hello, Mrs. Morris.

I'm really sorry to disturb you.

He just hasn't been himself

since these robberies started.

He's just absolutely

obsessed with them.

I've never known him

bring his work home before.

I thought that was

a map of the route...

...we were going to take around

the National Trust properties...

...for my birthday trip.

But, no, it's all to do

with the robberies.

So, all of these places are...

National Trust properties, you see.

So we'd start up here

at Little Camden...

...and go round in a great,

big circle.

Bloody hell.

So, where would you like

to go next, after this one?

Well, there's Syon House here...

...or Grittleton Manor there.

And Sodbury Hall.

They've got the most beautiful

little Victorian walled-garden.

Yeah.

Yes, any of those three, really.

You little beauty.

My friend Val's a volunteer.

They're shutting down

though on Friday.

They've got to clean them up

for the summer season.

So, anyway, would you like

one of my little coconut macaroons?

Well, I see my Sidney's

trained you very well.

Pick up.

This is Sydney Morris.

Leave a short message...

...and I'll get back to you.

Sid, listen.

I can't go into

all the details now...

...but I'm almost certain that

the next robbery will take place...

...in the next two days

in one of three places...

...all within twenty minutes

of each other.

There's a connection with

the National Trust properties.

That's why it has to be

in the next few days...

...before they close up for

some sort of spring clean.

There's Syon Town,

Grittleton and Sodbury.

It has to be one of those.

I hope you get this, Sid.

I've been joined by Detective

Inspector Keith Stringer...

...who is leading the case.

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