Good Burger Page #5

Something about working

at Mondo Burger.

I think he likes me.

Ed! That diphthong

doesn't like you!

He just wants

to use you.

Oh, well, that's not...

\"natural.\"

No.

He wants your sauce.

Look, don't tell him

the sauce recipe, all right?

Because if you do, Good Burger's

going to be in big trouble.

Okay.

All right.

Cool.

Now, let's

get to work.

All right.

Um, Dex...

Um, I got you something.

Here.

What, what is this?

It's a yo-yo.

I bought it

It lights up and

flickers and everything.

Just like the one

your dad gave you.

Why'd you get this for me?

'Cause we're buds. Huh.

Huh. Yeah.

Huh. Huh.

What's with this dude?

He doesn't want to work

at Mondo Burger.

If you ask me,

the guy's a few tacos short

of a combination plate.

I don't care.

Now, Kurt's going to get

his sauce.

I didn't come this far to let

some tired crap shack like

Good Burger get in my way.

Bring in Roxanne.

If anyone can get the sauce

out of Ed... she can.

♪ Roxanne ♪

♪ Roxanne ♪

♪ You don't have to put

on the red light ♪

♪ No, no, no ♪

♪ Those days are over ♪

♪ You don't care if it's wrong

or if it's right ♪

♪ If it's right ♪

♪ Roxanne ♪

♪ You don't have to put

on a red light ♪

♪ Put on a red light ♪

♪ Roxanne ♪

Excuse me.

♪ You don't have... ♪

Hello?

Um, welcome to Good Burger,

home of the Good Burger.

Can I take your order? Huh.

No, thanks.

I just came here

to see you, Ed.

I'm Roxanne.

Oh!

Welcome to Good Burger,

home of the Good Burger.

Can I take your order? Huh.

You are so hot.

Oh, well, I often sweat

at work. Huh.

So, you hungry?

Yes, I am hungry...

but not for food.

I'm hungry for you.

Oh, well...

well, I'm not edible.

Huh... Huh.

How would you like

to go on date tomorrow night?

With who?

Me, silly.

Huh. Me silly, too.

No.

I meant that you

and I should go out together

tomorrow night.

Want to?

Oh, okay. Cool. Huh.

Awesome.

Here's my address.

I don't believe

what I just saw.

Who? Elvis?

No, a beautiful girl

just strode in here

and asked you on a date.

Oh, I know.

Hey, want to come?

Oh, no. Three's

a crowd, man.

Oh, well,

just bring a date.

Hey, why don't

you ask Monique.

I... I don't think so.

Now, you know you

like her-- huh.

How can I not like her?

I mean, she's smart,

funny, beautiful...

and cuddly.

Oh, then just ask her out.

No.

Aw, what, you chicken?

I'm not a chicken.

Are too.

Dexter's a chicken!

Chicken! Moo!

Moo!

I'm not a chicken.

It's just that I don't think

she wants to waste her time

going out with me, that's all.

Moo!

Chickens...!

Chickens don't moo, man.

They cluck.

Hey, Monique,

we're all going out

tomorrow night.

You want to be Dexter's date?

Look, man,

I told you...

I'd love to.

I, I knew she'd say yes.

Moo!

♪ All I want ♪

♪ Is someone I can talk to ♪

♪ Someone who will listen

to what I have to say ♪

♪ All I need ♪

♪ Is some special attention ♪

♪ Someone who will mention... ♪

Yeah, corn dogs!

Your chair, Madame.

Why, thank you, Dexter.

Your chair. Huh!

Um, is your butt okay?

It's fine. Thank you.

It's okay, people!

Her butt is fine!

Huh.

Mmm! That's a great corn dog.

Mm-hmm.

I wonder how they

get the weenie

into the corny

exterior? Yeah.

A question that's plagued

mankind for centuries.

You know what'd go great

on these corn dogs?

Um... a turtleneck?

No, silly.

Some of your sauce.

I just love your sauce.

How do you make it?

I'm dying to know.

Well, first you

start off with some

ketchup and some

lemon juice...

Ow!

Oops.

Oh, what's the matter?

Is it your butt?

No.

Uh, oh.

Um...

Wha-What do you say

we start putting?

Ooh. I get to go first.

All right. Word.

Come on, Roxanne.

Ed... can't we just go

somewhere and be alone?

What for?

Well, maybe we could talk.

Or maybe get to know

each other a little better.

Now doesn't that

sound like more fun

than miniature golf?

No!

Come on.

♪ That's the way,

that's the way ♪

♪ That's the way... ♪

Oh...

So close yet so far.

My turn. Excuse me.

Thank you very much.

All righty.

Oh...

Huh.

Okay, yeah.

All right.

You're all right.

Oh, oh...

Mm-mm.

So, uh, is this

your first time?

Uh-huh, keep talking.

Mm-hmm.

Huh. Okay, my turn.

Huh, huh.

Huh...

Fore!

Your turn.

Then when I was six,

I said my first words.

My mom thinks it was

\"trousers,\"

but I think it

was \"tweezers.\"

And then I went to camp

and fell down a sand dune...

Ed... Ed!

She's still

unconscious, bro.

Oh...

♪ But please, baby,

please, baby, be my girl ♪

♪ I know I'm not the greatest

rapper in this land ♪

♪ But I'll do anything

if you'll hold my hand... ♪

What happened?

Your head hit my golf ball.

Then you went sleepy-bye.

Um... Monique,

you want to take a walk?

Sure.

Wait, wait, wait.

What am I supposed to do?

Hello!

Hello.

What am I

supposed to do?

Ed... I think Roxanne can, uh,

help you figure something out.

So, Ed...

what do you want to do?

Well, I always wanted

to shave a Martian.

Got a Martian. Huh!

Here you go.

Thank you.

So, uh, you like me?

Of course.

So, uh... you like me?

Are you kidding?

I liked you from the

first time I saw you--

right off the bat.

But I guess it was the

same for you, too, huh?

No, actually, I thought you were

self-centered and obnoxious.

Well, so much for

my self-esteem.

I changed my mind,

didn't I?

Yes, you did. How come?

Ed.

Excuse me.

Ed thinks you're

a really great guy.

He's always talking about

what a good friend

you are to him...

and what a nice and caring

person you are.

Really?

Ed said all that?

Mm-hmm.

Ed is the sweetest,

most genuine person

I've ever met.

And, uh, anybody

he likes that much...

can't be all bad.

♪ After all that

we've been through ♪

♪ I'll be there for you... ♪

Look at me, Ed.

I'm looking.

What do you see?

That big red lump

on your forehead

where the golf ball hit you.

Huh!

Look into my eyes, Ed.

♪ Feel my desire... ♪

Ed?

Tell me how you make

your sauce...

and I'll give you

anything you want.

Uh, whatcha got?

For starters...

how about this.

♪ Feel my desire... ♪

Oh, no!

Ooh!

Sorry.

You surprised me.

Can-can you breathe?

I quit!

I'm guessing she didn't get

the sauce recipe.

I'm aware.

Hello. My name is

Connie Mondune.

I'm hosting a family reunion,

and my oven has run amok!

Huh.

I think it's

the heat actuator.

Anywho, I'd like to order, uh

three Good Meals,

four Junior Good Meals,

of your Good Chunks.

Um, okay, on two

of the Junior Good Meals,

I need to substitute

the Good Cookies for Good Pies.

Now don't fret

if that's extra.

I'll pony up the overage.

And, uh, oh,

on the Regular Good Meals,

I need two of the Good Burgers

to have ketchup, mayo, mustard,

lettuce, tomato, but no onion.

I've got an interview

this afternoon.

Let's see, that takes care

of everyone but Uncle Leslie,

who doesn't eat meat, but, of course,

he does eat dairy, so I don't get it.

Let's get Leslie a Good Chick with some

Good Fries and a Good Root Beer.

All to go. But I would like to

have my beverage while I wait.

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