Good Burger Page #6

Now, total me up!

Guess who.

Hi, Dexter.

Hey. What you doing?

Getting ready for work.

Oh, cool, cool.

Um, listen, since we had

such a nice time last night,

uh, I thought that maybe

we could do it again tonight.

I don't think so.

Okay. Tomorrow night, then?

No.

Well, maybe this weekend?

Maybe not.

Okay.

Who are you and what have done

with the real Monique?

Oh, she's right here.

It's just that now,

she knows the real Dexter.

Come again?

You forgot your jacket

last night.

Oh. Thank you.

And this fell

out of the pocket.

Oh, um... this?

This is just,

all it is...

All-All it is...

Right, it's just the

contract you had Ed sign.

You know, the one where, uh,

you take most of his money.

The money he's supposed

to get for his sauce.

No... yeah.

But, look,

I was just trying...

You know,

I can't believe

that you would do

something like that

to someone who trusts you.

How can you take advantage

of a sweet person like Ed?!

And after

he got you a job?!

It ain't even like that.

I only wanted...

Oh, I know what you wanted.

You're not Ed's friend.

You're just using him

to scam a little

cash on the side.

It must feel really good.

Babe...

Oh, but don't worry.

I'm not going to tell Ed

that you're cheating him.

Why not?

Because it would hurt him

too much.

Punk.

Mmm!

There you are, Ed.

Um, can I sit here?

On my lap?

No, man.

I'll just sit down

right next to you.

All right, look, Ed,

I don't know

how to say this.

Oh, you just go:

\"This.\"

No, um, I-I'm talking

about this contract.

What is it, boy?

Oh, wha...? What?

Four clowns?!

Their car's broken down?

They're in trouble?

Man, that dog is

not talking to you.

W-w-wait, hang on.

He's trying to tell us

that there's four clowns

stuck somewhere

and their car broke down.

Where, boy, where?

Ed, there

are no clowns.

Man, that dog

is just hungry.

Oh, well, maybe

we should feed him.

Here, have

a Mondo Burger.

Huh.

He's not

eating it.

Well, what's wrong?

I don't know.

He definitely looks hungry,

though.

Yeah.

Well, here.

Try a Good Burger.

Would you

look at that?

See, I told you

there was something wrong

with Mondo Burger.

He knows it,

don't you, boy?

He definitely

senses something

that he doesn't like.

What do you think

it could be?

I don't know.

Let's find out.

Where is that dang dog?

Excuse me, ladies,

may I help you?

Could you kindly point us

in the direction

of the little girls' room?

Yes, ma'am.

The ladies room

is just on the other side

of the restaurant.

I'll show you.

Oh, get your hands

Ma'am!

Off of me!

I'm mighty mad...

Ma'am, I'm just trying to help.

I don't need your... oh!

Oh! Oh!

Water! Water!

I need water!

Whoo! Water! Oh!

Water! Ooh!

Water! Oh! Water! Oh!

Okay, I'll be right back.

Water!

Water, water, water!

Whoo! Oh, oh.

All right, let's go.

Hey, what about

your water?

Would you just come on?!

H-hey, what's that stuff

they're dropping

in the burgers?

I don't know,

but I bet

that's what's making

those burgers grow so big.

We should get some of

that stuff for Good Burger.

No, man, stuff like

that's got to be illegal.

It is illegal.

Whoo! Oh...!

Triambythal

is way illegal.

But I tell you what.

It sure makes burgers

nice and \"enormo.\"

Oh, yeah, that's all

well and good, but

what happens

to all those

nice, innocent people

when they eat your

\"enormo\" burgers?

Uh-oh.

Don't care, ladies.

Ooh! Uh...

Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.

Uh-huh.

But when those people find out

that you're putting

illegal stuff in their meat

you're going to find

yourself in jail.

That is why

nobody outside this kitchen

is going to find out.

What do you expect us to do,

keep our mouths shut?

No. I'll keep your mouths shut.

Ed, run!

Okay, hot pants,

now, I'm tired

of playing games.

I want to know

what's in your sauce.

Well, you can forget it.

You're not going

to get Ed's sauce.

I want to know

what's in your sauce.

Dude, you need a Tic Tac.

Ha-ha!

That coils it.

You guys are grass.

What are we going

to do with them?

Get our pal Wade on the phone.

Demented Hills?

Hmm.

Hey, all right,

yeah, hey, easy, man, easy.

Yeah, all right,

uh-huh, see, you'd like to...

You'll never be

half the man your mama was.

Hey, man,

you better let me go!

Hey, man, open the door!

I'm not going to tell you again!

All right, maybe I'll tell you

one more time.

Open this door, please?! Oh...!

Look, Dex, the

walls are padded!

Look what I can do!

I don't get it.

I-I just don't get it.

Where could they be?

I'm really worried,

you guys.

♪ Hey! I'm a dude ♪

♪ He's a dude ♪

♪ She's a dude ♪

♪ We're all dudes ♪

♪ Hey! I'm a dude... ♪

Hi.

Uh, huh... hi.

I'm a psychopath.

I'm Ed.

Have small space aliens

ever landed in your brain

and told you

to break into the zoo

and free

the kangaroos?

Not that I recall.

Do you think I'm cute?

Sure. Huh.

What's cute about me?

Um... your head.

You have a cute head, too.

Well, I try to keep it nice.

So, what you in for?

I got in trouble

for breaking into the zoo

and freeing all the kangaroos.

Oh.

My name is Heather.

Really? My mom's

name is Heather.

Really?

No.

I like you, Ed.

Oh.

Uh... go fish.

Would you stop

eating the cards?

And quit poking me.

Are you crazy?

Man...!

I got to play cards

with these folk?!

Would you quit it?!

You're nasty!

Ah, hey, dude.

Hey, they gave me a jacket

just like that.

Need some help?

Huh! Okay.

He's loose!

Look out!

Oh! Goodness gracious,

he's killing Sidney!

Open it.

There's the fridge.

Go get the

sauce, dudes.

Got it.

What's going on

in here?

Stop waving

that dang light in my face.

Who are you?

Your mama.

Who are you?

Relax.

It's the old guy

that works here.

Well, what are you doing here

this late?

Sleeping,

till you woke my butt up.

What's that junk

you're pouring into our sauce?

Shut up, old man.

Don't be rude

to the elderly.

The old man asked

us a question.

Now, it's called

shark poison,

and it's going

to make all

your little Good Burger

customers very, very sick.

So sick that

I doubt anybody

will ever want to

eat here again.

I'm calling the cops.

You're not

calling anyone.

In you go.

Join your buddies.

Otis?

Otis, you came to visit, huh?

Oh, I'm fine, and you?

Help me get him

out of this!

Do I look like

I came to visit?!

Where am I?

What's going on?

They kidnapped us.

Why'd they bring

you here?

'Cause I caught those

little Mondo brats

dumping shark

poison in our sauce.

Shark poison?!

Wow, why do they want to harm

those innocent sharks?

Will you forget

about the sharks?

That stuff's going

to harm innocent people.

Can you get

to a phone?

There's no chance.

We got to get out

of this place.

What time is it?

I'll tell you.

That means we only got

four hours to warn them.

But how are we going

to get out of here?

You just let me handle

that part.

Good morning, patients.

It's medication time.

I'll be back in ten minutes

with your various prescriptions.

Rate this script:4.6 / 33 votes