Goon: Last of the Enforcers Page #11

starting early today.

No lube or nothing.

(rock song in background)

- Give it to him, Johnny!

Masturbate that penis. (laughter)

The weirdest f***ing job ever!

- Oh!

- (people):
Ohhh!

- Sorry about that. Bad chop in the ice.

- You good?

- I'm good.

- Wow, it smells like dick.

Oh God, it smells so much like piss.

(people laughing)

- I had no response to that.

- Well, if you give me enough booze,

I'll munch a box or two. I mean...

(people laughing)

Oh, my God!

- Only two?

- A couple.

- Let's try that one more time.

- What is the line?

- Highlanders! Highlanders!

(Petrov laughing)

Alright, shut the f***

up. (people laughing)

What did you do, man? You

had a f***ing jackoff selfie

on my grandmother's grave?

You f***ing inbred, Slavic,

f***ing potato vampire!

Tell you, man, knowing you

and playing with you is like

being like force-fed f***ing junky piss.

And you two, you're like

f***ing mother Russia's herpes, man!

The b*tch shipped them to

Canada and f***ing made me

deal with 'em.

- Belchy!

- He gets it! I love candy!

What? Yeah, I'll take a f***ing

candy. I love f***ing candy!

He f***ing gets it. F***!

No! No more f***ing candies!

- SportsDesk, we've got slogans.

SportsDesk, our slogan is a slogan.

You're watching SportsDesk.

SportsDesk, we're all pink

on the inside. (laughter)

- My f***ing row! (men grunting)

Oh, f***! Ow!

- Cut! (laughter)

- Sorry, dude, that was really awkward.

(laughter)

- Oh, man!

- The f*** you're wearing, dude?

- It's supposed to make me look big.

- Why do you shop in

little girls' section?

(laughter)

You honestly look like you're

on the f***ing autobahn,

straight to gay town, man.

- On the blond bus to Analtown, huh?

You look like a little Nazi weightlifter.

(laughter)

- Power lifting f***ing dongs, man.

- It's like...

- Cut!

(laughter)

- I - I guess they like him

'cause he's got, sort of,

smaller hands.

- Who wouldn't?

- You know, feels like a female's hands.

But make no mistake, that is a man.

(laughter)

- Cut!

- I'm not stooping to your f***ing level.

- The mayonnaise is semen.

- What?!

- Enjoy the cannoli.

- This is so disrespectful, man!

And it better not have come

out of that f***ing sturgeon.

(laughter)

- Always driving away the ones you love.

(laughter)

- I love this movie! (orchestral music)

- Hockey history is full of star players

and its backup enforcers. You

know, you got Gretzky and McSorley.

- Well, I don't know if I'm a Gretzky.

- Thank you.

- Doug... Took our f***ing microphone.

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