Goosebumps Page #3

So there are no girls?

Well, there is one girl.

Oh! My man!

Shh!

What? What?

But she's locked in this house,

and her dad's a psychopath.

Does she have a friend?

No. I'm serious.

You know, you said there was

gonna be girls,

and not only

are there no girls,

but there's a psychopath,

and I'm in a suit.

How do you know

this guy's going to leave?

I called him and pretended

to be the cops.

And I asked him to come

to the station.

You can get in trouble for that.

It's just a written warning.

Dude. It's wet dirt, dude.

My pants are gonna get muddied.

He's right there.

Whoa.

All right. Let's go.

Come on.

Okay, okay.

Dude, my dry-cleaning bill's

gonna be ridiculous.

Just come on.

Whoa. Where'd you learn that,

New York?

No, YouTube.

Oh.

Okay, stay here

and watch the driveway.

Wait here by myself?

Out in the dark?

Yes, Champ.

You're the lookout.

If Shivers comes back,

you just give me a sign like:

Okay, just so we're clear,

if I sense any danger,

I will run the other way.

Whoa!

Where am I?

What the hell? You're supposed

to be the lookout.

And that's not gonna change.

I'll just be the lookout,

you know, in here.

No, no, by definition you have

to be somewhere out, looking.

Let me explain something

to you, Zacharias.

You know how they say

teenagers have no fear of death?

That they're never gonna

get hurt? Well, not me, okay?

I was born with the gift

of fear. I remember being 4,

being pushed on a swing

and thinking,

"This is how it ends. "

You're not gonna die.

All right?

At least not today.

Okay? It's gonna be okay.

Yeah, you're right.

Okay.

I'm being ridiculous.

Oh, bear traps.

Who puts bear traps in their

basement? I mean, seriously.

Let's go.

Let's go outside

where it's safe.

Where there's no bear traps.

I think I swallowed some web.

Dude, this way.

Come on. Come on.

Up there.

Oh...

It's coming from that room.

Hannah?

That's weird.

It's like the noise

is coming from this bookcase.

Well, it's an old house.

Whoa. Check this out.

The Scarecrow Walks

at Midnight.

The Ghost Next Door,

Night of the Living Dummy.

These are all Goosebumps manuscripts.

What's he doing with a bunch

of kids' books?

These aren't

kids' books. Okay?

Kids' books help you

fall asleep.

These books keep you up

all night.

Okay.

"R.L. Stine. "

Whatever happened

to that guy?

Uh, who knows?

He disappeared one day.

Does it matter?

Let's go.

The Abominable Snowman

of Pasadena.

My grandma lives

in Pasadena.

I stopped visiting

after reading this.

Okay.

We're not here

for book club.

I know, but why

are these books locked?

I mean, who would

lock a book?

Maybe there's like

a key or something

we can unlock it with.

Okay, if it really matters that

much, look at this. All right?

Mystery solved.

Let's get back to why...

Look out!

Zach?

Hey, Hannah.

What are you doing

in my house?

I thought you were

chained up, possibly.

Why did you think that?

Because I heard you scream,

and then I called the...

police.

Okay, both of you

need to go right now.

Yes. Okay.

Wait. One... One second.

Hi. Hi, I'm Champ.

Nice to meet you.

Hey, we're going to

the semiformal later tonight,

and I don't know, you should

come and invite a friend.

I really don't care

what she looks like.

Did you unlock a book?

Yeah. I did. I'm sorry.

It's around somewhere.

I just dropped it. And I'll

put it back where it belongs

and we'll be out of your hair.

Here it is...

No! Don't open it!

No!

What's going on?

Nobody make a sound.

My dad's gonna kill me.

Wait! Zach!

Zach!

Wait, Hannah.

Hannah. Hannah, wait.

Go home, Zach.

You're in over your head.

You wanna tell me

what's going on?

No, I can't explain.

I have to go.

Zach, wait. Wait.

Come on. Listen.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Dude, what are you doing?

Dude. Dude, get off me.

Listen to me very carefully.

That's the Abominable Snowman.

You don't get that nickname

by accident.

And it just crawled

out of a book.

That doesn't

just happen, Zach!

I'm going after Hannah.

Look, I read what it did

to Pasadena.

It's no joke, man.

She went in there.

Yeah. She's not the only one

who went in there.

Dude,

we should call the cops.

Have you met the cops

in this town?

Fair enough.

Do you see the scratches

on that wall?

Yes.

Just making sure.

Oh!

Is that your scream?

Don't judge me.

Over here.

This way.

What is she gonna do,

read it a story?

Hannah? What is happening?

How did that pop out of a book?

Shh. It's in here.

Hey, we should get a gun.

Are you kidding?

We need a tank.

Wait. He's made

out of snow.

Flamethrower.

Bag of salt.

Flamethrower.

Quiet.

He can't be killed.

It's candy.

Look out!

Come on.

It's distracted.

- Hannah, come on. Let's go.

- No, what are you doing?

Get off. No. Stop it!

No, you don't understand.

The only way to stop them is

to suck them back into the book.

Drop the book and let it

suck itself back in.

No, I'm not close enough.

What are you doing?

Just open the book.

Just wait.

- Hannah, open the book.

- Not yet.

Hannah!

Now!

The book.

Hannah,

what are you doing?

Hannah.

Huh?

No.

No.

Don't let it get the book!

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Guys, come on, let's go!

Come on. Come on.

Over here! Come on!

- Come on.

- Good idea. Punch it.

Bad idea. Bad idea.

Get off that thing.

Aah!

Run.

Hurry, this way.

Guys, come on. In here.

Guys, come on. Hurry!

[ALL BREATHING HEAVILY

Yes.

Whoa!

All of you in the car, now!

What are you gonna do to us?

Silence.

We can't ask questions...? Shut up!

Dad, they were only

trying to help.

I told you to stay away from us,

or something bad would happen.

But that's the problem with kids

today. They don't listen.

You had to pick

Abominable Snowman of Pasadena.

You couldn't have picked

Little Shop of Hamsters.

You're him, aren't you?

Hm?

- You're R.L. Stine.

- R.L. who?

I don't know

who that is.

Oh, really?

Well, just as well,

because his books suck.

What are you doing?

I can't decide

which one I hate more:

Monster Blood or Go Eat Worms!

I'm so confused.

You see the endings coming

from a mile away.

It's like stop trying to be

Stephen King, man.

Let me tell you something

about Steve King.

Steve King wishes

he could write like me,

and I've sold

way more books than him,

but nobody ever

talks about that!

Okay.

Way more books!

Dad...

Aah!

...your face is doing

the red thing again.

No way.

Wait, you're R.L. Stine?

That's you?

Really? Really?

Hey, can I get a picture

real quick?

No. No.

Come on. Come on.

The answer's "yes. "

I said no.

What? I... No!

Get that thing out of here!

I'm sorry. I just wanted a photo

real quick for my Instagram.

Oh, is that all?

Let me see.

Oh, yeah. Here you go.

Thank you.

Hey, hey,

what happens now?

You go home,

put on your p. j.'s,

get your blankie,

you go nap-nap.

In the morning, this will

all just feel like a bad dream.

Dad, wait.

There's no time. Start packing.

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