Grandhotel Page #4

- Mr. Franz, your key!

- That old guy's lost it.

- Hi, you were up early.

- I have the morning shift.

Hey, if you need anything,

don't write, just call me.

Don't let clouds darken your soul,

my little Hussite.

- It even works on ants?

- It works on everything. All in one.

No other product can touch it.

- Speaking of touching...

Is five minutes enough? -Sure.

Hi, what's up?

- May l?

- Sure.

I'm here as a donor.

Some dude hired me.

I said, just bring your old lady

to the hotel. I'll do it for free.

He said they'd rather have it

hygienically controlled.

- So he's paying me twenty grand.

- Right.

An agency sent me over.

- I don't want to know anything

about any brats I produce. -Right.

That's crazy pressure.

Mr Nekvasil!

- Interesting.

- What?

The average man has 60 million

sperm per millilitre of ejaculate.

- You've got 300.

- 300 million? -No, 300 sperm.

That's ridiculous.

Don't cry.

He's just a womaniser. He slept

with that anorexic TV b*tch.

- Hard to believe. -Bastard!

The biggest bastard of them all.

- And he really needs me...

- Wait!

Fleischman?

Fleischman?

Only maintenance men allowed.

- Jegr told me to clean your room.

- Why?

He said you

and that moderator got pretty wild.

What? No... No way... Really, no.

- Can I have the key?

- It wouldn't work anyway.

Hey, wait! She knows

nothing about the weather.

And she snores.

- What's this for?

- Wind. -What wind?

Just, like, wind.

- You want to fly away in this?

- Yeah.

Nothing else has worked.

- You'll kill yourself.

- No, it'll fly. I've calculated it.

I just need warm air.

- I still need something.

- Common sense?

No, gas.

And 20 meters of silk to anchor it.

Did you steal it all?

No. I just took it.

Like you take stuff from stores.

You're really crazy, Fleischman.

No...not really.

Patka's not happy

if he sees them twice.

He's crazy about underwear.

- They're silk.

- Oh.

Thanks.

You'll have to sort out the bras.

- Do you chart the weather too?

- No...

It's nothing interesting.

Just girl stuff.

There's a mistake.

- Where.

- It's not leap year this year.

And July and August have 31 days,

so it won't work.

It doesn't work anyway.

Now all you need is some gas.

Where do you want to fly?

I don't know, just away.

- Then I want to go to America,

like Patka. -Patka was never there.

He spent a year in jail for

stealing cars. I was in America.

- What's the weather like there?

- Like here. But the sky's gorgeous.

I've never seen it so blue here.

It reflects off the ocean.

- Why didn't you stay there?

- I like it here. Don't you?

I guess...

I don't know.

That's weird.

What?

Nothing, I guess.

Your hand's really hot.

- Who do you think you are,

you slut! -Stop it, Lu...

- Say it! Say it! Say Ludek!

- Ludek, please, stop it.

Are you scared?

I thought you were never scared.

I thought you were calm and cool

like all the women in your family.

300 is a lot!

300 strong Patkas!

You could never raise so many kids!

- Get out or I'll kill you!

- Why are we talking about kids?

Get out or I'll kill you!

Come here! What should I do?

Come here! What should I do?

- Tell me what to do.

- Let me go!

I thought it was for life.

What should I do? Hold on...

Hold on...

My god,

are you trying to poison yourself?

Do you think

I do it all just for myself?

From now on, baby, I will.

I could understand everything.

Everything!

But how could you mess around

with that so much stupid?

- You don't know what you're saying.

- That's great, that's just great.

You don't know what you're doing

and I don't know what I'm saying.

You just don't realise

who the f*** I am.

I'm Patka, you b*tch! You b*tch!

You raging whore! Whore!

- Take a look! Look...

- Put it down.

- It was for life.

- Ludek, put it down!

What do I do with it now?

Spread it on bread?

I'm Patka. Patka!

P-A-T-K-A, okay?

- Put it down.

- All in one...

P-A... P-A-T-K... A...

Are you related?

- No.

- See you later.

People are like clouds. Always

getting together and splitting up.

You're right.

Clouds have names, like people.

Hey, Fleischman,

what's your name anyway?

Fleischman.

You don't have to tell me

if you don't want to.

It's Vlasta, after my father.

That's a woman's name, isn't it?

- What did big Vlasta do?

- My parents escaped to Germany.

I was supposed to get out through

the Red Cross, but it didn't work.

Then my mom died.

My dad remarried and left me here.

- He writes me, but I can't forgive

him. -Why didn't you go see him?

I promised my mom

I'd wait for her here.

I wanted to, but couldn't.

Now it's impossible.

What are your graphs for?

Fertile and infertile days.

I don't have much time.

Women in my family

die really young.

We must be under a bad cloud.

- Maybe like that one.

- Which one?

That dark one on the left.

- That one looks like a crocodile.

See it? -Aha, I didn't notice.

Or a dragon?

- Maybe like a frog

- You're a frog.

Me?

A toad.

Try to ribbit.

- Can't you ribbit?

- Sure...

Ribbit!

- Louder.

- Ribbit!

- Hey, pussycat, so you finally

came around... -Where's Fleischman?

I'd also like to know

where that jerk-off is jerking off.

Things ain't easy for you either.

Fleischman, what if it's different?

What if you influence the weather?

Come on... How?

Impossible.

I never thought of that.

My hand gets warm and that's

how I know the wind is coming.

- What wind?

- The wind that will carry me away.

- What if the balloon falls?

- Then I'll be a cloud and rain.

- Don't you care about dying

without ever... -Without ever what?

You know what. You've never...

- Never what?

- You know.

No, it's not like that.

Doctor,

you can steal but you can't lie.

Do you love me?

Well...

- I just... -Just what?

I just asked if you loved me.

I know... I just...

- It's complicated.

- Complicated how?

I'm asking

so you could maybe answer.

I can explain.

- I want...

- Yeah?

What do you want?

I guess it's pretty clear.

I know what you want.

You want a baby, so you used me.

Now you'll throw me away

like an old snot-rag.

You don't understand at all.

Goodnight everyone.

May no clouds darken your soul.

Paramedics, good evening...

Achtung! I'll show you what war is!

Achtung! Forward march!

What's wrong,

Mr. Franz, are you alright?

Nonsense.

My pressure is great,

Luftwaffe Lieutenant

Reinhard Franz awaiting orders.

Roger! Six spitfires at 12 o'clock.

Three B-17 bombers at 15 o'clock.

Roger!

- Mr. Franz, just calm down.

- Engage at sector three, roger!

I better call your doctor.

Go ahead and call. I'll shoot him.

I hate doctors.

Hey, come here, come here...

Smell that?

That's the scent I told you about.

The one you smelled

flying over England?

What? You believed that?

You always grinned so foolishly

and mumbled to yourself.

- I thought you were laughing at me.

- Why wouldn't I believe you?

- I've never been in a plane.

- How come? -With this leg?

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