Grandma Page #2

SAGE:

What kind of adult doesn’t have a

credit card!

ELLE:

Credit cards infantilize you. Theyturn you into a pod person. Come

on, you must have a credit card -

SAGE:

Mom confiscated it after I crashed

the car in the garage. Sh*t!

Sh*t!

ELLE:

Alright. Alright. Calm down.

We’re gonna deal with this.

SAGE:

We are?

ELLE:

(beat)

Yes. We are. Where’d you get this

630 dollar number?

SAGE:

I went by a clinic. Called Pine

Rapids.

ELLE:

Christ.

SAGE:

I have an appointment for theprocedure.

ELLE:

For when?

SAGE:

Five-forty-five.

ELLE:

Five-forty-five? You mean today?

(Sage nods)

It’s 9 o’clock already!

SAGE:

They don’t have another appointmentopen this week! And I can’t wait.

I feel sick. And every day, everyday that goes by...

ELLE:

Okay well, I know a women’s healthclinic where you can get one forfree.

SAGE:

You do?

ELLE:

Yeah, Vi used to volunteer there.

Let’s go.

6 EXT. PARKING AREA - DAY 6

Elle brushes some leaves off the tarp covering a car. She

pulls the tarp off, revealing a 1955 Dodge Royal Lancer.

SAGE:

You still have Vi’s car?

ELLE:

Course I still have Vi’s car.

Give me a hand, would you?

Sage helps her.

Elle puts the tarp in the trunk.

Elle starts the car. Only it doesn’t start.

ELLE (CONT’D)

Sh*t.

LATER:

A young man is giving Elle a jump start with some cables fromhis truck.

ELLE (CONT’D)

I didn’t wake you up, did I?

YOUNG MAN:

(she did)

No.

The young man glances at Sage.

ELLE:

She’s already pregnant.

SAGE:

Grandma.

ELLE:

I’m just saying. Don’t get anyideas.

The engine turns over. Loud RAP MUSIC blasts for a moment.

Elle turns it down.

ELLE (CONT’D)

Okay. Thanks!

The car pulls out.

7 EXT. CAR - DAY 7

They drive into a mini mall.

8 EXT. CAR - DAY 8

Elle stops the car in the mini mall. She squints out thewindow.

ELLE:

Where the hell is it?

SAGE:

I don’t know. When’s the last time

you were here?

ELLE:

I dunno. 10 years ago? It must

have moved.

(points)

I think that was it. It was rightin there. Where that coffee placeis. Christ. It musta closed down.

(pause)

I could use some coffee.

9 INT. CAFE - DAY 9

They are drinking coffee in a cafe. Elle is at the

condiments station putting sugar in her coffee. Sage sits ata table.

SAGE:

(reading)

Women’s Health Action Center. It

closed five years ago.

ELLE:

How could they close this placedown? Why didn’t they let us know?

We could have had a rally!

Course...five years ago, we weren’t

going to any rallies.

(drinks coffee)

This is bilgewater. So where do

you get a reasonably pricedabortion? All you can get nowadaysis this shitty coffee.

SAGE:

Yeah, Grandma, uh -

Sage is looking nervously at a conservative looking couple atthe next table. Elle puts more sugar into her coffee.

ELLE:

How far along are you again?

When was your last period?

SAGE:

Ten weeks ago.

The manager of the coffee bar is looking at Elle.

ELLE:

My last period was twenty five

years ago. We did a ceremony forit, Vi and I.

(pause)

600 dollars for an abortion! What

the hell! That’s highway robbery!

The manager comes over.

CAFE MANAGER:

I’m sorry, but I’m going to have toask you to leave.

ELLE:

Excuse me?

CAFE MANAGER:

I’m going have to ask you to leave.

ELLE:

You’re “going to have to?” When

are you “going to have to” ask usto leave?

CAFE MANAGER:

I’m going to have to ask you toleave now.

ELLE:

So you mean you are asking us toleave.

CAFE MANAGER:

Yes, you’re disturbing the

customers.

ELLE:

What customers? I’m a customer.

Do you know what a customer is?

CAFE MANAGER:

I know what a customer is.

ELLE:

A customer is someone who pays foryour services. So I’m a customer.

What other customer are we

disturbing? Them? Ozzie and

Harriet over here?

CAFE MANAGER:

Yes.

ELLE:

We’re disturbing you. Isn’t that

right?

CAFE MANAGER:

Yes. That’s right. You are also

disturbing me.

ELLE:

Because I’m talking aboutabortions?

CAFE MANAGER:

Yes. That’s right. Now pleasetake your coffee and enjoy itsomewhere else.

ELLE:

This used to be an abortion clinic,

do you know that?

(MORE)

ELLE (CONT'D)

Where you are standing right now,

there were countless unintended

pregnancies terminated.

The nearby woman GASPS.

CAFE MANAGER:

Please leave. Leave now.

ELLE:

Wait, I’m going to enjoy this threedollar “drip” coffee first! I’ve

got news for you - all coffeedrips! So you don’t have to callit “drip” coffee - that’s aredundancy! Hey, look, it’sdripping!

Elle POURS THE REST OF HER COFFEE ON THE FLOOR.

ELLE (CONT’D)

I enjoyed that! That was some gooddrip coffee!

SAGE:

(to manager)

I’m sorry!

ELLE:

Why should you be sorry? He should

be sorry!

They go to the door.

10 EXT. CAFE PARKING LOT - DAY 10

They walk towards the car.

SAGE:

French press.

ELLE:

What?

SAGE:

French press coffee. It doesn’t

drip.

ELLE:

Well, I guess not. Touche. Can

you believe that guy? These

bastards think they can turn theclock back fifty years.

(MORE)

(pause)

Crap.

ELLE (CONT'D)

She stops walking.

What?

SAGE:

ELLE:

I really have to use the rest room.

11 INT. CAFE - DAY 11

The manager looks up from where he is mopping up coffee.

ELLE:

Here, lemme help you with that.

CAFE MANAGER:

No, that’s alright ELLE

I insist, I feel terrible.

Elle grabs some napkins and gets down to help him mop thespill.

ELLE (CONT’D)

So, do you need a key to use thebathroom or is it unlocked?

He stares at her.

12 EXT. CAFE - DAY 12

Elle joins Sage outside the cafe.

ELLE:

Okay, everyone’s friends now. Sowho’s the guy?

Who?

SAGE:

ELLE:

The guy! I assume there was a

penis involved. Who is he?

One night stand?

SAGE:

No. He’s kind of my boyfriend.

don’t know.

I:

ELLE:

You don’t know? Well who does

know? If you don’t know.

SAGE:

He was supposed to get the money bythis morning.

ELLE:

What happened?

SAGE:

He didn’t get it. He told me he

would. But he didn’t.

ELLE:

Alright, well. This is his problem

too.

(stops)

You understand that, right?

Sage nods.

ELLE (CONT’D)

Do you? Understand that?

SAGE:

Yeah. Of course, he’s not the one

who’s pregnant.

ELLE:

Well that’s the f***ing problem

right? He’s not the one who’s

pregnant. He’d be shitting his

pants if he were. He’d find the

f***ing money if he was about to

swell up like he swallowed awatermelon.

SAGE:

I guess.

ELLE:

Let’s go talk to him.

SAGE:

Who, Cam? I don’t know if that’s a

good idea.

ELLE:

“Cam?” His name is “Cam?”

13 INT. CAM’S HOUSE - DAY 13

A small house.

CAM opens the door. He looks annoyed.

Cam is eighteen. Working on a scruff-beard.

jersey on with a marijuana leaf on it.

He has a hockey

CAM:

What are you doing here?

SAGE:

Are your parents here?

No.

CAM:

SAGE:

So can we come in?

CAM:

Whatever, yeah.

They come in. The house is messy. Cramped.

SAGE:

Umm, you were supposed to get the

money.

CAM:

I couldn’t get it. That f***in

a**hole wouldn’t front me the

money. I thought he would.

ELLE:

Well you’re gonna have to get it,

Cam. Half. Give us half the

money.

CAM:

Who is this?

SAGE:

My grandmother.

CAM:

Grandma? Yo Grandma, what youdoing here?

ELLE:

Listen, you have to takeresponsibility for this.

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