Grandma Page #6

ELLE:

Who are these people?

KARL:

My grandkids.

ELLE:

You have grandkids now?

KARL:

I do. You’re not the only oneallowed to have grandkids.

ELLE:

Which wife is this?

KARL:

That? Wife number four. Kid

number five. Grandkids number 9,

10 and 11.

ELLE:

Jesus, you’re a patriarch.

KARL:

I am. I‘m biblical. How’s the

corn?

ELLE:

Good.

KARL:

Those your own teeth you’re eatingwith?

ELLE:

Yup.

KARL:

Good for you. You were alwaysworried about your teeth. You took

good care of them.

SAGE:

She used to tell me - brush yourteeth or you’ll lose them.

KARL:

Did she, Sage? You know, the teeth

are the only thing we see on aperson that’ll look the same when

they’re dead. When someone smiles

at you, they’re showing you theirskeleton.

SAGE:

That’s creepy.

KARL:

It is.

ELLE:

Are you married now?

KARL:

Right now, no. I am currently aman about town.

Elle nods.

ELLE:

Sage, would you let me talk to Karlfor a minute? Go look at the

flowers out back.

SAGE:

I’ll go look at the flowers.

Sage goes out back.

KARL:

Are you going to make me a marriageproposal? Now that you know I’mavailable?

ELLE:

I was just wondering if a wife wasgoing to pop out from somewhere allof a sudden. You want to smoke

some weed?

Karl laughs.

KARL:

Sure. Why not?

Elle starts to roll a joint from the bag she took from Cam’ssock drawer.

KARL (CONT’D)

You mean business, hunh?

28 EXT. KARL’S HOUSE - DAY 28

Sage walks outside the house. It’s strangely tranquil.

29 INT. KARL’S KITCHEN - DAY 29

Karl opens a beer. Elle lights the joint.

KARL:

Didn’t know I’d be having a partytoday. Care for a beer?

ELLE:

No thanks.

KARL:

(drinks)

So how’s your partner? Daisy?

ELLE:

Come on. Violet.

KARL:

How’s Violet?

ELLE:

She passed away. Two and a half

years ago. She’s dead.

KARL:

I’m sorry. I am.

ELLE:

Thanks. So listen, you told me ifI ever needed anything I should

come to you.

KARL:

Did I? Yes, I guess I did. About

five-hundred years ago.

ELLE:

Well I need to borrow 500 dollars.

Here.

Karl takes the joint. Hits on it, looking at her.

ELLE (CONT’D)

I can pay you back in a coupleweeks.

KARL:

So you’re not just here to smoke ajoint with an old flame?

ELLE:

Well sure I’m here for that. But I

also need 500 bucks.

KARL:

You must not have a lot of friends.

Current friends.

ELLE:

Guess not.

He passes her back the joint.

ELLE (CONT’D)

Look, you were always good withmoney, I thought you might be ableto help me out.

KARL:

What do you need it for?

ELLE:

(exhales)

Rent.

KARL:

Rent? Why don’t you ask yourdaughter?

ELLE:

We’re not speaking that often.

KARL:

That’s too bad.

She passes him back the joint.

KARL (CONT’D)

(beat)

It’s painful seeing you, Elle.

Elle opens a beer.

ELLE:

What the hell kind of a thing isthat to say?

KARL:

I don’t know. Just popped into myhead. Maybe I’m getting soft.

Male menopause, maybe.

ELLE:

You’re well past menopause. We

both are.

KARL:

It’s painful to see you, because itmakes me feel old.

ELLE:

I like being old. Young people arestupid.

KARL:

We sure were. We sure were stupid.

ELLE:

That’s an understatement. Can youloan me money?

KARL:

Sure. I want something in return,

though.

ELLE:

What? What do you want?

KARL:

A kiss.

ELLE:

Like a peck?

KARL:

No, like a real kiss.

ELLE:

And then you’ll loan me the money?

Karl nods.

ELLE (CONT’D)

Alright. Let’s get it over with.

She takes the joint from Karl. She takes a hit off it, then

she kisses him. It’s not passionate, but it has someaffection in it.

ELLE (CONT’D)

There you go. For old times’ sake.

KARL:

Now I want you to make love withme, just once. For old times’

sake.

ELLE:

Go f*** yourself, Karl.

KARL:

Not really interested in fuckingmyself, Elle. I wish I was.

(MORE)

KARL (CONT'D)

I coulda kept out of a lot of

trouble over the years.

(pause)

Okay, well. I gotta go fix thisminiature jeep.

He goes out of the house.

ELLE:

HEY. WE HAD A DEAL!

Elle follows Karl out.

Sage watches her go out.

30 EXT. KARL’S HOUSE - DAY 30

Karl opens up a tool box. There is a kid’s-size purple jeeplying on it’s side by the entrance.

ELLE:

Come on, are you out of your mind?

He takes out some tools.

KARL:

Why are you here?

ELLE:

I told you. I’m here because I

need money.

Karl gets down by the jeep.

KARL:

You wronged me.

ELLE:

This again?

KARL:

You were wrong, how you acted.

ELLE:

Forty-nine years ago?

KARL:

(nods)

Forty-nine years ago. You were

wrong.

ELLE:

Well, I was wrong to be sleepingwith you, given that I was alesbian.

KARL:

You didn’t seem like a lesbian at

the time. When we were living onthe boat.

ELLE:

Well I was. Just a confused one.

KARL:

And that poem you wrote? “The

Ogre’s Seed?”

ELLE:

That wasn’t about you.

KARL:

You’re sure you’re not here to sayyou’re sorry? To apologize to me?

Finally?

ELLE:

No. Afraid not. Man, you haveeleven grandkids! You can’t let goof old sh*t?!

KARL:

I find that, as I get older, old

sh*t just bubbles up. It bubbles

up from the tar. Don’t you findthat to be the case?

(pause)

Look, Elle, I’m not the one who

called up from out of nowhere.

You’re the one rattling theskeletons here. So what are youhere for? WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?

ELLE:

I’M HERE BECAUSE I NEED SOME GODDAM

MONEY, BECAUSE I’M THE ONLY IDIOT I

KNOW WHO WOULD CUT UP HER GOD DAMN

CREDIT CARD TO PROVE A POINT TO

HERSELF.

(Pause)

I knew I was dumb to come here,

because I knew you’d be the sameselfish bastard you always were.

(calls out)

SAGE?

Sage comes around the side of the house.

ELLE (CONT’D)

Okay, let’s go.

KARL:

Wait! Wait - okay. Okay. I canhelp you.

SAGE:

You can?

KARL:

I can help you. If you need help Ican help you. For old times sake.

Elle stands there.

KARL (CONT’D)

Five-hundred?

ELLE:

...Yes.

KARL:

I have it. Hold on.

Karl goes inside.

Sage and Elle stand there. Inside the house, Karl goes overto a bookcase and pulls out a thick old volume (where hehides his cash).

SAGE:

He’s not...

ELLE:

Your grandfather? No. Your

grandfather was a fling. One nightstand. I have no idea where he is.

Karl’s a guy I married.

SAGE:

What?!

ELLE:

Yeah. We lived on a sailboat

together for two months. Then I

split. In the middle of the night.

SAGE:

This was before Aunt Violet?

ELLE:

Of course it was before Aunt

Violet.

Karl comes back out. He has some cash in his hand.

KARL:

Hey, so what’s it for? What’s the

money for, really?

ELLE:

I told you, it’s for rent.

KARL:

Yeah, you told me that, but you’rea shitty liar.

ELLE:

(pause)

It’s true. I am.

KARL:

So what’s it for?

He turns to Sage.

SAGE:

It’s...

KARL:

Yeah?

ELLE:

She needs to terminate a pregnancy.

She’s gonna have an abortion.

Beat. Karl pockets the money.

KARL:

No. No f***in’ way.

ELLE:

Karl

KARL:

Are you out of your mind? Are youout of your God damn mind?

ELLE:

Karl, come on

KARL:

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

ELLE:

BECAUSE WE NEED THE MONEY!

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