Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer Page #5

And?

Im behind this evil trial.

And?

And I hate the goody, goody feelings

of Christmas

all this caring and sharing.

So I kidnapped grandma and made

Santa Claus the fall guy

so I could get all his money.

Hey,

I deserve to be rich.

Arrest this woman for obstructing justice

and almost ruining Christmas.

Thats what you get for being selfish and stupid.

Babe, youll look great in stripes.

Santa Claus, you are hereby found

innocent of all charges.

You are free to go.

Oh, yeah!

May I say one thing, Your Honor?

Of course.

Jake, you saved Christmas.

Grandma, I want to talk to you

about your store.

Young man, after everything

Jake has gone through

do you really think Im gonna sell?

I dont want to buy it.

I want to franchise it

open Spankenheimer general stores

all over the country.

And I want you to be in charge.

You did it.

Youre a pretty cool little bro.

Were so proud of you, Jake.

You never gave up

even when the rest of us did.

So, Jake,

what do you want for Christmas?

Nothin.

I already got the best Christmas gift ever.

I feel the same way.

Im glad youre back, grandma.

On, Donner, on, Blitzen

The rest of you!

Just the way it happened.

Oh, wait.

I left out one more thing.

Not that one!

Its cousin Mels!

Wha-ha!

Oh, no!

Reindeer nip.

Not again!

Grandma got run over by a reindeer

walking home from our house

Christmas Eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been drinkin' too much eggnog,

and we'd begged her not to go.

But she forgot her medication,

and she staggered out the door

into the snow.

When we found her Christmas morning

at the scene of the attack

she had hoof prints on her forehead

and incriminating Claus marks on her back.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer

walking home from our house

Christmas Eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now we're all so proud of grandpa

he's been taking this so well ,

see him in there watching football,

drinking beer and playing cards

with cousin Mel.

It's not Christmas without grandma,

all the family's dressed in black.

And we just can't help but wonder

should we open up her gifts

or send them back?

Send them back!

Grandma got run over by a reindeer

walking home from our house

Christmas Eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

but as for me and grandpa, we believe.

Now the goose is on the table,

and the pudding made of fig,

and the blue and silver candles

that would just have matched

the hair in grandma's wig.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors

better watch out for yourselves.

They should never give a license

to a man who drives a sleigh

and plays with elves.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer

walking home from our house

Christmas Eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Sing it, grandpa

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes