Grassroots
There's
a long line of cars
and they're trying
to get through
there's no single
explanation
there's
no central destination
but this
long line of cars
is trying
to get through
and this long line
of cars
is all because of you
you don't wonder
where we're going
or remember
where we've been
you've got to keep
this traffic flowing
so this long line
of cars
will never have an end
and this long line
of cars
keeps coming
around the bend
Nice bear suit,
buddy!
From the streets
of Sacramento
to the freeways of L.A.
We've got to keep
this fire burning
so this long line
of cars
and this long line
of cars
is all because of me
there's
a long line of cars
long line of cars
[ telephone rings ]
Hello?
It's just not
working out, Phil.
You're not happy
with us
and we're not happy
with you.
I'm sorry, but how do you know
I'm not happy with you?
I read what you write.
It's between the lines.
You're firing me
for subtext?
You're not being
constructive.
I don't find this
to be a very
constructive experience.
Let's not burn
any Bridges, Phil.
Sh*t!
Aah!
You can show people,
all right?
You said so yourself
a hundred times over,
it's a stepping stone.
To what?
I'm finished, em,
okay?
Fired from the stranger?
You can't get any lower.
Why'd I ever leave
that job in Memphis?
To fall in love with me.
That's why.
My parents
are gonna kill me.
Man on TV:
The secretto our ab slammer
is our ab slammer
patented technique.
Oh, it's amazing.
You mean I only need
to do this video
three days a week
to get the beach body
I've always dreamed of?
Man on TV:
Are you forced tospread butter with a knife
like some sort of caveman?
Are you gonna come to bed?
Introducing sputter.
It's spreadable butter.
Sputter...
[ static ]
The issue of research
involving stem cells
derived from human embryos
is increasingly
the subject...
answering machine:
You've reached 861-4800.
To leave a message for Phil,
press one; For Doug, press two;
for snow wolf, press three;
And for Emily, press four.
[ Beep ]
Hey, a**hole, grant here.
Come on, pick up!
Pick up! Pick up!
I know you're sitting
on the couch, right?
Right in the middle of that
stinky couch of yours.
Come on, pick up the phone!
Pick up! Pick up! Pick up!
So you got sacked?
You leaving town?
I should.
Answer my question.
No, no. I've got Emily
and there's...
good, we need to talk.
Meet me at the comet
in 20 minutes,
and don't be late.
[ Music plays ]
They say
it's called the comet
because
one landed here once,
but do comets land, man?
Oh, bravo!
Free at last.
You did it.
No, seriously,
corporate employment
is as dead as
the old world order.
You should thank Nick
for pulling the scales
off your eyes.
The usual.
Why weren't you at
the cha-cha last night?
Dude, the murder city devils
destroyed it without...
murder city devils?
Are they local?
Oh, my God, are you
serious right now?
F*** me, man!
What do you listen to,
Celine Dion?
Hey, where's his tomato?
Come on.
You know what?
It's fine, all right?
It's fine
because, because
I'm coming to a really,
really big decision
and I want you to be
the first to hear about it.
The city council primaries?
I'm gonna run.
I'm serious.
It's because
of this guy, huh?
Richard McIver.
He has got to go down.
He's awful,
and no one with, like,
three working brain cells
is stepping up to run
against him, so I'm going to.
[ Scoffs ]
Oh, you think this is funny?
What?
All right.
No, I got to show you
a thing or two.
Grant? Grant!
Hey! Come on.
I hate that, though.
There are never any
parking meters ever!
Gonna get a ticket,
yeah, yep, thanks to
McIver and his henchmen.
And how long
have you harbored
this grudge for the guy?
Since forever.
But you've never
mentioned it?
I was waiting for things
to hit critical mass.
Look, there it is!
There. There it is.
That?
Yeah, that.
The key my electoral
strategy, my victory.
All right, great.
Can we go home now?
A promise from the 1960s,
Phil, from the world's fair.
From before we were born.
A super ass modern
mass transportation system
that was to have spread
its wings all over the city,
barely touching
the neighborhoods
it was to pass over.
And you know why?
Look at the base.
Smaller than a taco stand.
But there's only one stop
in the middle
of nowhere downtown.
Two idiot Miles long
to a really useful
space needle.
But it's electric
and elegant as sh*t.
A miraculous machine
and, listen, silent, right?
Like the breeze,
like magic.
But most important
of all, it's cheap.
And you want to know
how many times McIver
and his f***ing f***
goons have voted it down
so they could build
whatever the sh*t
they wanted?
Stealing millions
off all those good folk
living right down there.
You know
how many times?
A zillion, to make money
from building those, see?
Highways that have
bisected and trisected
and now they want
to build on the ground,
right in the middle
of all our traffic jams,
a heavy f***ing
tank train system.
Exactly, which they call
light rail,
and, of course, they're
lying about that, too.
They steal and cheat
and over here, huh?
They're buying up land
from there to there.
Come on, Phil.
To there... And, no.
And all the way,
all the way over here.
Phil, they're just cutting
our city into pieces!
And even worse,
oh, look at her.
Look at her, Phil.
She's so beautiful.
This is what we need
to save right here!
And you want to know the
first thing that I do
when I get elected?
I'm gonna walk
into the city chambers
in my beautiful
white fur.
I will not
be made a victim
of your cowardly ways!
Never!
Save the polar caps!
Build the monorail!
Save the planet,
you fucks!
Reowr!
Doesn't it matter to you
that you have no
experience in politics?
I'm a journalist.
People respect that.
You're an unemployed
music critic.
People
know the difference.
All right, you know what?
I'm running in the primaries
and I'm gonna get myself
into that general election
and then I'm gonna win
this thing.
And you know
what else, Phil?
You're gonna do it with me.
It's the reason
you got fired.
It's destiny. It is.
Have you wondered
exactly when it was
that you first
lost your mind?
[ Laughs ]
What's so funny?
Have you even considered
McIver is black?
And?
And he's, like, the only
black city councilman.
Okay, so what?
What, are we practicing
reverse racism now?
No, I'm practicing
my power of thinking.
I mean, grant is white
and he's unqualified.
He's bombastic.
It's not funny,
it's embarrassing.
I mean, grant's gonna get
laughed out of the primaries
and so are you.
Why are you
even doing this?
Does it matter?
Okay, so you got fired
so now you can just say
f*** you to everyone?
You're smart.
Thanks, dad.
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"Grassroots" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/grassroots_9278>.
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