Grassroots Page #5

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That there's never been

a more important time

to set aside fears

and selfishness

and reach out to somebody.

Just reach out

and participate

in some genuine

life-changing action.

Hey, guys, here.

Does anybody

need a large?

There's

a lot of larges.

What size?

Large. Just put it

over your...

I got this one.

Remember, the election's

in two weeks.

Are you registered to vote?

Great. Grant Cogswell.

He's running for...

with my own eyes,

want to see the trial

The election's

in six days, sir.

And I was just about to sit

in your electric chair

just about to pull your noose

over my head

Hey, tomorrow's

the election.

Go vote for the monorail.

The man in a white coat

coming my way

Have you been

to the polls this morning?

Don't forget

to vote. Hey!

Vote for Cogswell.

One hour till closing.

What do you mean

your TVs don't work?

I already told grant

I was having trouble

with the satellite.

Well, I'll have to get the

results off a laptop then.

You can only use the Internet

for a minute or so

'cause a gotta run credit cards

through that phone line.

Don't set your laptop

on the bar.

Some idiot could spill on it

and I'll get blamed for it.

No problem.

[ Singing ]

Okay, Sandy, we just

need a couple more.

I'll do it during a slow jam.

There's a problem by the door.

What do you mean?

Come by the door!

Stay by that door,

okay?

He's kind of like

a gothic William Wallace.

Like, did you see

that movie Braveheart?

There's, like, the meanest

agent I ever saw.

Yeah.

Right here?

Hi, is there

a problem?

There sure is a problem.

Tommy booked me to dj

my debut set at 9:00.

So what are you doing here?

What the f***'s going on?

It's no big deal.

They're hosting

some election thing.

They'll be out of here

by 9:
00!

Whoa, Tommy!

No, we won't.

In elections, the results don't

even come in till 9:00.

There's no way we're gonna

be out of here by 9:00.

I'm booked at 9:
00!

I got a flyer that says so!

Okay, I'm sorry, but so

what if you have a flyer?

We have flyers. You

want to see our flyers?

Show him our flyers.

Tommy, what's going on?

If you two idiots cannot

conduct yourselves as gentlemen

in front of my clients,

I'm gonna throw both

your asses out of here!

Now figure this out!

I can't deal

with this bullshit!

You want me

to go talk to him?

F***ing amateurs!

And they got a f***ing

pixies cover band playing.

Yeah.

Are you okay?

Total bullshit.

Look, why don't you

just do your thing

while we wait for

the campaign results?

Can we do that?

Look at it this way.

You'll be getting

a new audience, huh?

I'm so not digging

your crowd, man.

I'll get some volunteers

to bang their heads.

They have to do what I say...

It's for school credit.

What about the pixies band?

F*** the pixies!

Hey, Phil. Phil.

Hi.

Your idea?

Absolutely.

[ Screaming ]

Quite an interesting

night, huh?

Have you seen

the raw data?

I've been

a little preoccupied.

Yeah, well, you ought

to get un-preoccupied.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Sh*t!

Hey, Tommy,

can I use the Internet?

I need to get online.

I need to check...

I have to check

the results.

I have to pay the bills!

Who's gonna hand out

on the paraphernalia?

I need you to do this

for me, please.

Please, please, please,

just sit down.

I need you to just keep

clicking on this button.

To open up, we need

to hit the net, okay,

in order to get the results.

Again, again,

just keep...

yeah, yeah, yeah,

like a monkey, I know.

Yes, Phil Campbell here

with the Cogswell campaign.

Just checking, did we get

10% to qualify?

I got something!

I got something!

Never mind.

What does it say?

Okay, um...

Phil, Phil, Phil!

Those people who were trying

to get a circle pit going.

What's a circle pit?

It's like a mosh pit,

but it's circle 'cause

they like to be safer.

And then, like, Willis,

like, punched a guy

and the guy's like

"you don't do that to me"

and then Willis, like, he's

got some dad issues right?

And so then I think

he just, like, reminded him...

okay, Wayne,

Wayne, Wayne.

I'm coming!

I'll deal with it.

It's, like,

did you see rocky?

Imagine if a couple

of those guys were...

I'm coming. Theresa.

The numbers

started coming up,

but I got kicked off.

The line's busy.

[ Modem beeps ]

[ Music plays ]

Stop your music!

It's insane.

What the f***?

This is how people

listen to music!

You can't listen to it

with just your ears!

You gotta listen with your

whole motherfucking body!

[ Modem beeps ]

[ Screaming ]

Phil! Phil!

Phil!

I don't know, I've been staring

at that screen so long,

I could have it wrong,

but you have to see

this. Right here.

[ Laughs ] Awesome.

Great. Great.

Let's pick 'em up

out there

over the bar, okay?

[ Telephone rings ]

Hi, this is Emily.

Please leave me a message.

Sh*t.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Don't... leave it.

Hey, hey, hey.

What's going on here?

[ Cheering ]

What's going on?

26%!

I've been looking

all over for you.

If McIver goes below 50,

he'll look weak

in the general election.

What?

Below 50

percentage points

he'll look weak in

the general election.

People will

take you seriously.

People with money.

Grant could win

this thing.

I said I'm gonna go

to that bar,

I'm gonna get

stinking drunk,

and put it on your tab.

28%! 28%!

Holy sh*t! Holy sh*t!

[ Telephone rings ]

Hi, this is Emily.

Please leave me a message.

Dammit!

Are you kidding?

This is politics.

Politics, b*tches!

This is how you f***ing

run a campaign.

I'm f***ing writing it

in blood.

Someone give me

a razor

so I can write it

in blood!

Blood of the f***ing

innocent!

[ Music plays ]

49%!

[ Cheering ]

Let's hit 50!

God, I love this!

People have been

telling us all week

how politics doesn't

mean anything anymore.

But you just all

proved them wrong!

[ Cheering ]

'Cause it's grassroots

politics, folks. Grassroots!

In all this glorious,

wild, f***ing bloom,

breaking it all up.

The concrete

and the asphalt

and the lies!

And the lies!

The lies!

'Cause here we are!

We are in

the general election!

[ Cheering ]

[ Telephone rings ]

Have you seen

the numbers?

Yeah, we're all pretty

stunned here actually.

Here?

I'm at the office.

Well, get the f***

over here.

You're missing the party.

We did it.

We actually f***ing did it!

Em, hey, are you okay?

Em, what's wrong?

Emily?

Nothing. I'm fine.

It's just...

yeah, I know, I know.

It's weird,

but it's amazing, too.

I understand.

Look, where are you?

I'll come to you.

Are you at the office?

No, don't come

to the office.

Hi, here you are.

Way better than the bar.

I can finally

hear myself think.

You got to come over, though,

experience the love.

Well, congratulations.

You've done something

truly amazing here.

Oh, please, you hate grant.

You think I've

unleashed a monster.

Oh, come on.

You like McIver better.

I don't know McIver.

I just know what

I've been through

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