Green Card Page #2

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I've never seen you before.

- Welcome back. How was Africa?

- Africa?

- Yeah. You got any bags?

- No, no. No, just me. Just me.

You know, when I first seen you,

I thought to myself...

"This guy just stepped

out of the jungle."

And I was right!

Oh, it's great to see you back.

I hate to see a young couple

like yourselves, you know,

separated like you've been.

- It's bad for the marriage.

Call me old-fashioned if you want.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, but that's what's wrong

with this country, you know?

- The family is going down the toilet.

- The toilet? What...

- The toilet. Yeah. Fifteen years

I'm married to the same woman.

- What, uh...

- See? See my kids there? Huh?

- Oh, yes. Yeah.

I call her twice a day.

I don't go for that women's lib stuff.

- No, sir. Couples living in sin,

that sort of thing.

- Oh, no.

- Oh, that's no good, no good at all.

- Oh, it's terrible, yeah.

So...

Well, come in.

Right. Now, these people

are due here any minute, so, um...

Look, I think we'd better talk

about the situation, don't you?

You got my note? Of course you did,

otherwise you wouldn't be here.

Uh, I spoke to my lawyer.

He said not to panic.

It's probably just routine.

- Have you got some coffee?

- Coffee?

Yeah.

Right! Good idea.

We'll just have coffee

like any normal married couple.

How's the composing? Didn't you

get the big job in California?

No. I don't like them, you know?

I prefer to be a waiter

than work for people like that.

But you're not at

the restaurant any more.

No, I quit.

They said you were fired.

Really? Funny.

I hate that captain, you know?

He's really a snob type. Ah.

These people are due here any minute,

and you stroll around my apartment

touching my things!

Do you realize the situation

that you've put me in? Do you?

I'm sorry, Betty.

It's Bront.

Oh.

This is hopeless.

- The coffee?

- The coffee?

- Yes.

- I'm about to go to jail, you're gonna

be deported. But what about the coffee?

Oh, my God, they're here.

- Wait. Wait! I'll get it.

- Yeah?

- Uh, may I speak with Mr Faur, please?

- Yeah, this is Mr Faur.

- This is Immigration.

- Ah, okay. Come on.

What...

- What are you doing?

- Better put them in my closet.

Oh.

Oh, God!

Ring. Ring.

- Oh, we have to talk, for God's sake.

- Talk about what?

Our story. How we met.

They're gonna ask us questions.

No, they just want to see us together,

that's all.

This happened to a guy

at the restaurant.

They see us, they go. Simple.

Can you get it, chrie?

Let me do the talking.

No, I'll do the talking.

You don't speak much English.

I'll just tell them... I'll just tell...

No! Now, relax. We're together.

Okay? Don't panic.

Now go.

Hello.

Oh, isn't this quaint?

Thank you.

Come on up.

Georges?

This is Mrs Sheehan and Mr Gorsky.

- Hi.

- Hello.

- Hi.

- Hi. Please sit down.

- Mr Faur?

- Georges, please.

Yes. Now, you entered the country...

five months ago

according to our records.

Yes, and already I love it. You see?

- Yes, well...

- Land of opportunity.

- Such a great country.

A-A-Already I feel at home.

- Yes.

- Ah.

- So lucky.

Beautiful wife.

- Apartment.

- Yeah.

- Plants.

- Oh.

- So lucky. You see?

- Uh, well, um, your visa... a B-2...

a tourist visa...

allowed you only six weeks.

Now, that in itself is an offence...

but more recent events

have overtaken that.

Your marriage, of course,

gives you automatic residency status.

- Now, this is your place of residence?

- Of course.

- Yes.

- You moved here after the marriage?

- Yes. Mm-hmm.

- Mm-hmm.

We spoke to the chairperson

of the building...

and he said you'd been away,

Mr Faur.

- In Africa.

- Yes.

- Shooting elephants.

- Oh.

- With a camera.

- Ah, a camera.

- Oh!

- Of course.

And he brought me back some plants.

Some violets. African violets.

- The violets.

- Mm.

- Mm-hmm.

And, uh, where did you live,

Mr Faur, before the marriage?

Oh, all over the place, you see, um...

In the park, one night.

- And, uh, where do you work?

- Pardon?

My husband's a composer. He's working

on an important composition right now...

based on his African research.

A composer?

We don't, uh, have a note of that.

And, uh, you write, what?

Uh, rock 'n' roll?

Ballet. I write for the ballet.

Ballet.

Your statement

on your passport application

said you had no criminal convictions.

Is that a true and correct statement?

Of course.

You speak French, Mrs Faur?

Not really. Not exactly.

No barrier to love, though, hmm?

Well, that about does it.

We're sorry to have troubled you.

There's been a major clampdown

on illegal aliens...

marrying for residency status

and a green card.

It's come down from the top.

The White House.

Well, you don't want

to get the wrong type.

- Precisely.

- We understand.

As a matter of curiosity,

how did you two meet?

I'm sure it was very romantic.

- We... You go ahead.

- Well, uh... No, you, please.

- We just...

- Please, you... We sort of crashed

into each other. Boom!

- Like that.

- Goodness.

- Yes, I was, uh, carrying

a lot of parcels, and...

- Parcels?

- Yes, parcels.

And then I-I picked them up, and...

- A-A-And... And Anton...

- Don't forget about Anton.

- Ah, Anton, yes.

- He was with Georges, and I knew him.

- Anton, yes. Yes, he also helped

pick up the parcels.

Yes, but the point is, darling,

is that he introduced us.

Oh, that's right. He did.

He did, yes. Anton.

- And?

- Well...

- So, and...

- Ah, it was raining. And, uh...

- Oh, yes! We got soaked.

I took one of her parcels

when I pick up mine.

- Oh, you had parcels too?

- Ah.

Uh, everyone had parcels.

So many parcels.

So, uh, I-I-I...

I picked up one of hers.

- By mistake.

- Yes, so I had, uh, my parcels...

and, uh, her parcel...

and I was, uhh...

staggering around, like this.

And, uh...

Uh... Uh...

- Somebody better get the telephone.

- It couldn't be for me.

Well, it could be, dear,

but don't worry. I'll get it.

We don't want to have a husband-and-wife

fight in front of our guests.

Hello? Phil!

You're still upstate, aren't you?

- No, I'm not glad you're still there.

- Do go on, Mr Faur.

- Phil, I can't talk right now.

- Hmm?

The parcels? You were up to

where you had her parcels.

- Oh, yes. Yes.

- Oh! I'm excited.

- So I found this extra parcel.

- Can I call you back?

I knew I had 9, and now 10.

I say, "What was going on?"

I say to myself.

And I-I open it, and it was, um,

uh, ladies' underwears.

Ladies' underwear.

- Look, um... Mm-hmm.

- So, I called Anton...

and he said, uh,

"It must belong to Betty."

You mean Bront.

Yes. Bront.

But I didn't know her name...

and, uh, so, now I did.

- So, um... Yeah.

- That's it.

- May I use your bathroom?

- Hmm?

- The bathroom?

- What for?

Uh, well, I need to use it.

- Uh, bathroom.

- Oh!

- No, please, go ahead.

- Where is it?

- What?

- Uh, the lavatory.

Could you show me where it is?

- Oh, yes. Please follow me.

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