Green Street Hooligans 2 Page #3

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Sounds perfect to me, every minute of it.

I'm happy to hear you say that.

I want our life back, babe.

I just want it to be me and you.

Wherever.

Well...

one other thing happened.

- A bad thing.

- A bad thing?

I'm not the woman I was.

In a way...

No, you lost me. I don't understand.

Well, the other day I was stepping out

of the shower and I looked down and...

well, I noticed I was getting a bit thick.

You know, down south.

So I trimmed it.

Then I thought...

why not shape it?

Yeah, yeah. Makes sense. Just, er...

Just for something different, for fun.

I don't spend money, don't go out.

- I don't have a lot of fun, Dave.

- Just stay with the story.

All right. Well, I

thought what could it be?

- Huh?

- And it hit me.

- A heart. A heart's red. Only natural.

- Makes complete sense.

So I started in, but I really botched it up.

Didn't... Didn't

cut yourself, did ya?

No.

It didn't look like a heart.

Or anything.

Well... so I

shaved it all off.

You... gone... just...

I think your shoelace is untied.

No, I'm sure it's fine.

Oh.

Please get me out of here.

I've gotta get you home.

Tell eith and

Ned I said hello.

Yeah.

I might not remember

our whole f***ing conversation after that.

I love you.

I love you too.

Ginger or not.

Hey.

We're gonna be

O, you and me.

Yeah.

Come on, Hegyes. Basic's over. You're

back on the spur, no privileges.

You need to think about

the consequences of your actions. Cor.

You're minging, Hegyes.

Take a shower.

Cor, you smell like stale f***ing piss.

- Thought you could hide, did ya?

- Agh! Agh!

Who's laughing now?

Don't! Get off me!

You buy something, you pay for it.

I heard a nasty rumour Dynamo Moscow

made the first division, Max.

F*** them. GB kiss-arse.

- Yeah.

- How are you, Dave?

Good. Oh yeah, these are my pals.

This is Keith and Ned.

You cause riot in chapel.

Nah, we were innocent bystanders, mate.

Everyone innocent here.

You must stay out of trouble, Dave.

They will never release you.

What do you expect from

a hardened criminal, Max?

Look, we've both got problems in here.

Maybe we can help each other out.

Da.

We'll talk later, yeah?

- I need a word.

- I'm listening.

My office.

Here is good.

You've been running a very profitable

little enterprise for yourself.

That you have benefited from.

Save it, Ivan.

Circumstances have changed.

How?

300 a week.

Absurd.

No, I'll tell you what's absurd.

It's about to get way more crowded in here.

If you're not careful, your new cell mate

will be the biggest immigrant-hating

psychopath I can find.

- I would not advise.

- 300 a week.

Oi, you with the nose ring.

Did you call me a c*nt?

You can't talk to a

prison officer like that.

Guards! Take him.

And lose that f***ing jewellery.

Anyone else wanna join him?

Nothing personal, Ivan.

Just the cost of doing business.

Officer Mavis, your lunch is here.

We're sending it up.

Cheers, mate.

- What is it every Friday night?

- It's fish and chips.

So what makes you think

it will be different tonight?

- I've just got a feeling.

- Bollocks.

- What, a lorry can never miss a delivery?

- Bollocks, mate.

He's got a point. It's dinner time.

Everyone's lined up. There's no food.

Be f***ing mayhem in here.

Bollocks, mate. You're mental.

Watch this.

- I'm winding him up.

- F***ing naughty.

Welcome to prison, mate.

So what do you bloody think we're having?

Fish and chips.

Who let this East

End c*nt in front?

You do that again

and I'll break your f***ing legs.

- Go have a wank, you nonce.

- Your f***ing mother!

Agh!

You f***ing East End c*nt!

Leave off.

Get off me!

- It's fish and chips every Friday.

- I didn't jump the queue.

- Several eyewitnesses said that you did.

- They're lying.

I know it's hard to believe you might

find a liar in here, but it's the truth.

- I didn't jump the queue.

- That's just what a liar would say, innit?

Honest. I was going back to join my mates

at the end of the queue.

Why were you at the front of the queue

when the fight started?

I wanted to see what's for dinner.

Are you really that stupid or are you

trying to have a laugh at our expense,

make fools of us?

Governor.

Ten days' segregation.

- Bloody Ned.

- Take him away.

- What did he get?

- Ten days of segregation.

- Ah, f*** me. Do me a favour.

- Oi.

Look, just keep an eye on him for us,

will ya?

- No one can get to him in basic.

- Oh, really?

Because those boys seem to be

going anywhere they f***ing please.

Sir. Do you smoke?

Is that a bribe?

No, sir. I'm simply trying

to look after my friend, that's all.

Watch yourself.

A packet of fags is the best you could do?

Easy, easy. I'm just feeling him out.

Geezer wants to help.

It's a matter of motivation.

I'm sorry to see him in seg,

but I won't miss his wanking, dirty c*nt.

Hello, son.

Oi, you.

Oi, mate.

I heard you think I'm a bit of a twat.

I heard you think

you're not gonna give me a penny.

Well, you heard right, then, didn't you?

See, I run C Block.

And if you don't like it,

it's too f***ing bad, innit?

Look, mate, I don't want to tell you

how to run your business...

Well, piss off. Before someone gets hurt.

Oliver.

Let's be having ya.

Oh, you're a big one.

Now f*** off.

Nobody f***ing move!

Watch this.

You f***ing c*nt!

F***ing c*nt.

Eh?

Come on.

What were you f***ing gonna say?

F***ing c*nt.

You East Poplar boys...

you think you're so f***ing chav

with your Bow Bell addresses

and your f***ing rhyming slang.

Well, I've got news for the f***ing

pearly king and queen here,

as far as I'm concerned,

you come from Paki town,

which makes you a white wog,

the worst kind of c*nt there is.

So pay up...

cos if you don't, you won't get off

as easily as Mr F***ing Shrek here.

All right.

Come on, man.

700 years ago...

stuffed animal bladders were kicked around

between rival northern villages.

In Chester they celebrated

their victory in battle over the Vikings

by cutting off one of their f***ing heads

and having a game of footy with it.

Football violence was so bad,

the Vikings and even Oliver Cromwell

banned playing the game.

1900, we changed

our name to West Ham.

Our first ever game, Boleyn Grounds.

Also known as Upton Park.

We smashed the f*** out of Millwall...

three... nil.

Second World War sees an all-time high

in game attendance.

30 million fans go see games

on a regular basis.

1950s, National Service ends.

British Empire crumbles.

Immigration's at an all new high.

All officers to segregation hallway.

Segregation hallway now!

Mile End Mob emerges,

and a mispronounced

Irish name, Houlihan,

so named for that family's

nefarious exploits in the East End...

give birth to the term...

'ooligan.

- Come on, then, you f***ing slags.

- Stand back from that door now!

Now! Against the wall.

What the f*** are you doing in segregation?

- It's a work party.

- What's going on?

- Release them.

- eep them bent up.

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