Green Street Hooligans 2 Page #4

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Who put you on work detail?

- How'd this cell door get unlocked?

- No idea.

Search him.

Take him.

It's usually the one in the cell

wants to get out.

- I am sick of cleaning up your mess.

- Excuse me?

You heard.

You're only lucky this thing

didn't end up worse.

Tread lightly, boy.

You're not supposed to be working tonight.

What are you doing here?

- Swapped shifts.

- It's not on the schedule.

Well, nick me. Then we'll both have

stories to tell the Governor.

If you ever countermand

one of my orders again...

you will deeply regret it.

Choose your enemies carefully.

This geezer's always sh*t.

He's all mouth. Look at him.

Look at him running.

I'm telling you, he's gonna stuff it. See?

- I f***ing knew it.

- eith would enjoy this pony game.

Bet on Skins.

Oh.

Here we go. It's gonna kick off.

Watch, watch.

I knew that was gonna happen.

- Oh! F*** me. - The goalie's Spurs

and the forward's Man U.

Too busy fighting each other

to worry about Max's team.

- Who's fighting?

- Spurs. They lost yesterday.

My team caught in middle.

All's O.

Is that what your man signalled?

Sometimes you need to send message,

not make noise.

A Block against my team, J Block?

That's J Block all the way.

Guards, prepare for new arrivals.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get it.

This room is off limits

until further notice!

Guards, move 'em out.

Arthur.

Do you think we can get 53 new ones in here?

Just.

Cosy.

From here on, all reports on violence

will note overcrowding as a primary factor.

We'll rub this in the board's face

as often as possible.

For all the good it will do.

- How many incidents this week?

- Not many, sir. All easily managed.

No. Three guards were injured. Sir.

- I have reports?

- Yes, sir.

Remember, keep the peace, officers.

Who was the third guard hurt?

Watson. This morning.

Broken jaw.

Good.

- He had it coming.

- Hardly Christian, is it?

Watson is an arsehole.

And I'm no Christian.

I almost feel sorry for you.

I'm your superior officer,

something you seem to forget.

Now, I know what you want, Mason.

You want to put your time in,

get your pay cheque...

- pay for rehab for your little spastic.

- She has cerebral palsy.

Don't care.

Now, you can keep having that...

but you've got to get with the programme,

mate, my programme.

And lately you've been getting on my tits

and it just won't do.

What's funny?

You may have a bigger dick than mine,

you may even have a bigger dick

than my friend Andrew,

but his dick works high up

on the prison board,

and he really, really likes f***ing me...

I don't need to hear this.

I'm gonna be number one in here one day.

Remember that and we'll get along

like two peas in a pod.

Say it.

What?

Say two peas in a pod.

Why?

Cos I'm your superior officer

and I f***ing well told you to,

you insubordinate c*nt!

Now say it!

Two peas in a pod.

Was that so hard?

No. Because when I give you an order,

you're just following orders, right, Arthur?

Now, I'm going to give you an order.

Are you listening?

Yeah.

Here's the order.

eep the peace, officer.

Letter to Red?

Mm-hm.

What's going on?

I got officially dumped by Lucy.

Oh, Ned. I'm sorry, mate.

You all right?

Yeah. Can't blame her, mate.

- I haven't been there for her.

- Better off without her. F*** her.

I was hoping she'd get me my old job back.

Pretty much screwed there too.

I mean, nobody would hire me

without a record, but with one?

- I ain't got nothing.

- Tabula rasa.

- What?

- It means clean slate.

Look...

do your bird, you get out of here,

and then you can be

whatever you decide to be.

Whatever you wanna be.

I thought I wanted to be with Lucy

in me old job.

No, I understand that. That would be

the worst thing possible for you.

- How do you know? - How do I know?

Cos of what's just happened.

You don't have to think

in such a small box all the time.

It is pretty f***ing small, mate.

That was coming.

Not the cell, you doughnut. Your mind.

All right? You can think bigger. Grander.

You're a smart man, use it.

This is good, I promise.

- Cheers, mate.

- Yeah.

Give us a hug.

- F*** off.

- Come on. I've been in prison too long.

I need some company.

Keep each other warm.

- No one needs to know.

- Laters.

See you, sweetheart.

What the f*** happened to your face?

It's from the last dust-up with Millwall.

- How is the Abbey?

- It's coming along.

It'll be so new when it's ready,

you won't recognise the place.

F*** me, Tel,

I ain't gonna be in here that long.

Keep a big calendar on the wall.

Counting the days till you all get out.

Be grand, see you up at the bar,

Lucy sat in your lap. Nice.

She dumped me, mate.

The rotten slag.

She didn't deserve ya.

Don't worry, mate. I got it sorted.

I passed by Dave's house the other day.

- There's a "to rent" sign out front.

- Really?

- He ain't said nothing to me about that.

- Be hard on Red.

She's been stand-up. That's a bloody shame.

Don't forget delivery's coming tomorrow.

Sweet. eith is gonna

be well happy, mate.

That Max has got some

heavy carrying charges.

Got a moral dilemma,

it changes with the weather

Riot! Riot! Riot!

You think you're pretty smart

but you ain't that clever

Riot! Riot! Riot!

I hate violence and here come the cops

Riot! Riot! Riot!

All great truths end in paradox!

Riot! Riot! Riot!

Stand up for your rights...

Oi!

Stand up for your rights...

- Here comes Sunshine.

- Let's go.

Oi, lads, where the f*** are you going?

F***.

we're gonna riot tonight

Hold up, lads.

- One, two, three...

- Where is it?

- ... four, five. This one.

- I knew you could count.

- I haven't walked this much in ten days.

- Just wanted to make sure it's still here.

- What?

- Here.

Didn't get all religious on me

while I was on the block, did ya?

eith, mate. I want you to take the

good book and get all you can from it.

Mate, I read it once.

I know how it ends.

- I didn't say the Bible.

- He said the good book.

This good book.

Go on.

- You're having a laugh, in't ya?

- No. Open it.

- It's a miracle, innit?

- Welcome back. We missed ya.

There you go.

There you go. We're all good.

- Hey, hey, hey.

- Lovely.

- GSE.

- GSE.

- Mm.

- Give it to me.

Get it over here. Come on.

Ah. An angel pissed on my tongue.

That was great.

Now I'm gonna go take a piss, guys.

All right.

eep it down,

though, will you?

- More for us, Dave.

- Yeah, absolutely.

Mm.

Ah.

You f***ing rasclaat! You bombaclaat!

You f***ing d*ckhead.

You f***ing white bwoy. Yeah, man.

You dirty f***ing scum!

A message from Millwall.

- Come on.

- F*** me.

F*** me, that's Ned.

F***. Agh!

- You've gotta be f***ing kidding me.

- Help me, help! Agh!

Look at his f***ing face!

Guards. Guards!

All right, Ned. All right, son.

Look at me, look at me.

- What's going on?

- He needs a doctor.

Get him up!

All right, mate. Come on. Outside.

Who's watching the f***ing cameras, eh?

One of the West Ham boys just

got carved up in his cell.

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