Greener Mountains

1

( crickets chirping )

Woman:
Oh.

What's wrong?

Oh, nothing. Oh.

I was just thinking. I...

I always thought I was going

to outlive this old oak.

( chuckles )

700 years old and I think

I'm gonna outlast it.

If that isn't human conceit,

I don't know what is.

Well, you still might.

And it still might rain

Johnnie Walker in April.

I also always thought

you'd be taking over this place.

I can't.

I know.

I know.

I know.

( acoustic guitar strumming )

Woman:

The lake, it moves.

Sometimes it quivers,

like it's filled with

a feeling it can't express.

That's 'cause it has no outlet.

It's fed by a deep unsounded crevice.

Hey, bug.

Want to help me out?

- Sure.

- All right.

I want you to see if you can find

any dirty glasses hanging around.

Okay, then, uh, are we going fishing?

Yeah. We're gonna be

eating perch till Christmas.

( laughs )

Very funny.

- Oh, man.

- ( bell rings )

Oh. Hey, I think there's

some more dirty glasses...

Woman:

Life's funny sometimes.

You never know what tiny turn of events

is gonna tilt your

entire life on its axis.

( chuckles )

I'm J...

...P... oh my God!

Oh, I'm sorry.

- That's my fault.

- I... oh, I'm such a dork.

I'll get it.

Are these yours?

- Yeah, but they...

- They're really good.

Really?

Oh, thank you.

I've never been here before.

It's...

It's pretty amazing.

Do you want a little tour?

Yeah, that'd be great.

I mean, if you're not too busy...

No! No. No.

Welcome to Barton's.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

Are you sure you don't

want me to get something?

- I got it. It's fine.

- Okay.

- This is the lake.

- Girl:
Look at the duck!

Look at the duck!

( Sighs )

It's beautiful.

It's bottomless.

Jacques Cousteau came here in 1968

and swam down to this crevice

and almost got lost.

Yeah, so...

Woman:
Here's a little secret.

You really do only have

one soulmate alive.

Oh sure, you can find

a decent backup along the way.

But, oh, you're gonna be

kicking yourself the rest of your life

if you didn't do

everything in your power

to grab 'em when you had the chance.

Yeah, a lot of things

I don't know how to do.

Is that poison Ivy?

- No, that is.

- ( shrieks )

Thank you.

Oh my God, this tree.

Yeah, the old oak.

How old is this tree?

Uh, 700 years, give or take.

Unbelievable.

( sighs deeply )

My sister always

gives it to me straight.

So I was kind of dreading

the conversation,

but when I finally

talked to her, she said,

"Alice, you know what you got to do."

So I finally got the courage

to break up with him

and move out.

And that's why I'm here.

- Cure your broken heart.

- No, mm-mmm!

To clear my head, so I don't make

any more stupid choices about men.

(Muffled ) This is so good.

Real Vermont cheddar cheese soup,

every single Friday

come rain or apocalypse.

( piano playing )

So what about you?

- About what?

- Well... who are you?

What do you do when you're not here...

when you're not up here working?

- What do you mean?

- Well, what do you do?

I mean... Hey, bug!

You got to meet someone. Come here.

Okay.

Hey, bug, Alice.

Bug:
You should have seen me today, J.P.

I got four perch this big.

Aww, man, I wish

I could have gone with you.

Want to go fishing tomorrow?

Yeah sure, maybe if we go real early.

Let me help you out with that, bug.

( clears throat )

So this is Alice.

She's from New York.

Yup. Pleasure to meet you, bug.

But she's not coming fishing.

Uh-uh, that's just me and you, bug.

Fishing is just me and you.

He loves sunglasses.

Singer:
There was

a time in my life...

All right, we've got art, temporary art,

science of art,

sports science.

Why can't you tell her that

you work here all year long?

Oh yeah, that's good, toe.

"Howdy, I'm J.P.

I work at Barton's."

That's hot.

- What's wrong with that?

- She's an artist.

She lives in New York City.

Her last boyfriend was a law student.

- ( laughs ) So?

- Here's something.

Environmental architecture.

See... see that sounds smart.

Why don't you pick something that you...

that you know?

You don't get it, toe.

She was hugging the tree.

Woman:
Men... unzip their flies

and their brains fall out, I swear.

Alice:
I am never gonna

do justice to that old oak.

Stop putting your work down.

You've a real talent.

It's something to be proud of.

It's nothing compared

to what you're studying.

Sustainable architecture

using renewable resources,

big deal.

It is a big deal, a very big deal.

- Thanks, Alice.

- Hey, Jimmy!

Hey, Holly, Mike.

Hey, me and toe rigged up

an antenna for the old 13-inch,

so you can catch the Sox-yanks

games this weekend.

Oh ho ho.

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

When are you gonna learn?

It's August!

The Yankees have been beating

the Red Sox in August

longer than your ma's been around.

Nothing has changed since 1918.

- 1918?

- J.P.:
Walk away, Alice.

And you obviously

weren't born in new England,

were you, uh... Alice.

Alice. Alice, there are three dates

that all new England children

know by heart.

Both:
1620, 1776...

And 1918.

- Why?

- Aha!

Because that was the year

that the Red Sox

spat in the eye of the gods.

They sold the greatest player

who ever played the game,

babe Ruth.

And they sold him

to the hated New York Yankees.

And they have not won a world series...

Young J.P.:

But you like the Red Sox.

Past Mike:

Jimmy, I like the Red Sox.

I have no choice.

I wasn't taught differently,

but you?

You're young.

There's still hope.

Every Summer the Sox suck us in

with glorious Aprils

and record-setting Mays,

giving us hope

for the whole Summer months.

And then it's August

and they start to fade.

Sometimes they'll... they'll

wait until mid-September to turn on us.

And sometimes, once in a blue moon,

they'll wait and wait and wait

until late October...

world series...

and then... And then Billy Buckner

lets a dribbler through his legs

and they carve your heart out...

That is the curse of the Bambino, Alice.

That is the curse of the Bambino.

So whatever you do, do not let this kid

talk you into being a Red Sox fan.

But you're still gonna

watch the game tonight, right?

Well, I wouldn't miss it.

- Thank you, Mike.

- You're welcome.

I know this one.

Artist is...

Monet!

Van Gogh.

- Van Gogh! Really?

- Yeah.

Damn it!

Okay. Keep 'em coming.

Where would you find

Brueghel's painting,

uh, "Icarus"?

- I don't know.

- Musee des beaux-arts.

All right, whatever.

Okay, quiz me on Manhattan geography.

Where is the statue of Liberty?

( laughing ) That's not nice.

Staten island.

Woman:
Seems to me you got two choices.

Become what others want you to be

or be what you are,

and then others will want to be that.

So when you study,

do you hole yourself up

in a little carrel in a library

or do you go to a coffee house or what?

You know where I like to go?

Um, "the cloisters."

Yeah, it's so peaceful there.

J.P., I go there to draw.

- No way.

- Yes, we should meet up there in the fall.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes