Gringo Page #4

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to your loft tonight.

We'll just...

I'm not in there yet.

I'm still

at that boutique hotel.

You told me last week

you moved in.

Did I tell you that?

Did I...

I'm gonna make this call.

I gotta just get this thing

sorted out.

Um...

But if I change my mind, I'm gonna give

you a call, which I probably will.

But I'm, you know,

maybe just...

Yeah, so, yeah,

I'll read that.

Good meeting.

- Mia.

- Mmm?

Get my brother

on the phone, now.

Oh, yeah, Mitch?

Yeah, one moment.

Mitch.

Okay.

- Hey, Rich!

- Mitch!

How you doing, bro?

How's... How's Nepal?

Haiti. I'm in Haiti.

- Haiti? No, I knew that.

- How is it?

It's a f***ing mess

is what it is.

But we're doing what we can.

Well, you're doing

God's work, so...

No, the earthquake

was God's work.

This is something else, man.

You're seriously

all religious-y and stuff?

It's not religious,

it's spiritual.

And I don't mock your dirty

little money-grabbing,

back-f***ing-stabbing

corporate life.

No, it's not... Dude,

I'm not, swear to God.

It's just, I hear through Mom that you've

turned over a new leaf, and it's great.

Mom's right.

I've been good.

I've been doing good things with my life.

I have a new path now.

My mercenary days are over.

Look, what do

you want, Richard?

You only ever call if you want something,

so let's get to that part,

the greedy part,

the selfish part.

All right. You wanna help people, right?

You wanna help people. Help me,

and I will make it

worth your while.

And then you can build these

people a school house

or a f***ing Gap,

whatever the f*** they need.

You know, might I remind you that

you were sent there six months ago

to make a diplomat disappear.

You want me

to f***ing kill somebody?

Have you lost

your f***ing mind?

Hey, man...

Did you not hear a thing I just f***ing said?

I don't wanna...

I don't want you to take

anybody out for me.

I'm just...

No, I need you to bring

somebody back.

- What phone is that?

- Hmm? Work gave it to me.

Hey, look, that's that guy

from the room next to ours.

Nice suit.

Why would somebody

wearing a posh suit

be staying at our sh*t motel?

Miles, he has that like shoulder

holster gun thing under his arms.

Maybe he's a cop.

Or he's like a FBI guy.

Or, no, a DEA guy.

Yeah, he's a DEA guy

on the trail of

some big drug thing,

and he's about

to bust somebody.

Oh, yeah,

somebody's going down!

All right, let's clear off,

shall we?

But I haven't finished

my margarita yet.

You can get one later.

Babe, we're in Mexico.

They brush their teeth

with tequila.

Let's do one.

Amigo!

Oh, for f***'s sake.

Are you crying?

I'm sorry.

Did you not smoke every girl in every

f***ing pageant you ever entered?

That's what I thought.

You're a winner, Elaine.

You've always been a winner.

- Who's daddy's blue-ribbon girl?

- Hmm?

That's right... I am.

I'm a blue-ribbon girl.

Now, get your sh*t together.

Go handle your business.

Richard, it's me.

No, no, no. Shut up.

Shut up and let me do the talking.

Hola, shithead. Better.

Hola, shithead, it's me.

Shut up.

And I know

about all these people

who are going to lose

their job, including me.

And I know that you and Elaine

are having sex.

Richard, you are a bad person.

You know what happens

to bad people?

Bad things.

Bad things happen to bad people.

So you can take your carrot

and shove it up your

motherfucking lying buttocks

because I can have bananas.

Harold Soyinka

can have all the bananas.

I'll have my bananas.

Oh, God.

- It's that weird number.

- Don't! Don't touch it.

- You think it's him?

- Just don't think about it.

God, I'm such a sh*t.

Bonnie, stop singing

sad Harold songs.

Honey, how many times do I have to tell you?

Guilt is for losers.

Now, you want something,

you go after it.

You f***ing

make it happen. Harold?

He just never understood that.

Now, I'm sorry,

he is a nice guy, but,

you know,

never f***ing grew a pair.

So, it's that simple.

I know.

Thank you.

- Who could that be?

- I don't know.

- Surprise.

- Oh... Elaine.

Uh...

Okay.

So I see

you moved in after all.

Uh... Yeah.

Who do we have here,

Richard?

Hmm?

Do you have a name?

It's a deaf girl.

She's adorable.

Bonnie, Elaine.

Elaine, Bonnie.

Bonnie is my...

My interior decorator.

That's interesting,

because I thought you said

Harold's wife

was your interior decorator.

Yeah.

Now I see why you wanted

to leave him in Mexico.

- What?

- Elaine.

Ooh.

Would you show me

your stomach?

'Cause I am super curious.

Excuse me?

Richard here told me

you were a little fatty Patty

back in the day.

Isn't that right, Richard?

You know,

I've always wondered,

what do they do with all that

extra skin?

Listen, I don't know

what is going on...

That's right,

you don't know anything.

And you certainly

don't know this guy.

And I bet you don't know

what I had on the plane

to Mexico yesterday.

I don't care

what you had on the plane.

The petit filet.

Four glasses of champagne,

and Richard's cock in my mouth

in the First Class bathroom.

Oh...

It's... Bonnie, she...

Come on, Riley.

Now, what do you say we

christen this f***ing place?

Live by the rules,

that is what my father said.

Work hard, respect the rules,

and you become rich in America.

Then you can come back home

a great success.

Bullshit.

One hundred percent bullshit.

- Bullshit.

- Just the other day

Richard invited me

into his office to play chess.

He wanted to show me how much he had

improved since we were at college.

So he's playing white,

and he begins with F-3.

Naturally,

I respond with E-5.

What does

this crazy man do? G-4.

Can you believe it? G-4.

All I have to do

is move my queen

to H-4, checkmate.

But did I do it? No.

Why? Because I had

my father's voice in my head.

"Respect the rules."

As a rule,

you do not defeat your boss,

especially when you want

a promotion.

That is the story

of my time in America.

Play by the rules?

Bullshit.

Are they your friends?

Friendly.

Where is this other bar?

Seor, dnde...

Dnde the other bar?

I need the bathroom.

Amigo. Amigo,

I need the bath...

Mmm-hmm.

Monarch butterflies

go through

four generations each year.

The first three generations

hatch from their cocoon state

and live for up to

six weeks,

but the fourth generation

continues to live on

for up to six

or eight months,

so that they can migrate

to a warmer climate

and birth a new generation

in the spring.

They are one of

the great miracles of nature.

- I've gotta go, baby. Sorry.

- What?

Babe.

If you want to take pictures,

you can do it.

What the f***?

Babe, how many butterflies

did you need to see? Really.

- What are we doing?

- What?

Why are you with me?

Here we go.

I'm serious, Miles.

Why are you with me?

I don't know, Sunny.

Why are you with me?

That guy looks

like he needs help.

Well, hopefully

someone will pick him up.

That's the guy

from the plaza.

The one with the shoulder holster?

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