Gringo Page #5

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Stop the car, Miles.

- I'm not stopping the car for a f***ing DEA agent.

- Stop the f***ing car, Miles!

Please.

Sunny.

You okay?

- Sunny!

- Oh, my God!

Are you all right? Sir?

Sir, can you hear me? Please?

Sunny, don't touch him!

Oh, God, he's...

Help me, Miles.

This is good. This is good.

Right, we're here.

- Mr. Rusk?

- What?

I was just wondering

about Harold.

What about him?

Well, he didn't sound

so good yesterday,

and he didn't call in today.

Is he okay?

Mia, a simple quiz.

The job of a receptionist

is to A, make calls,

or B, answer them?

- B?

- B, yeah.

Hey, is this everything?

All company policies...

...contracts, leases, travel

and insurance riders.

Okay, great. Hey,

great game the other night.

I'll be

in the conference room.

No more interruptions.

Yes, sir, Mr. Rusk, sir.

Keep that up, you'll

passive-aggressive yourself

straight to

the unemployment line,

then you'll have plenty of

time to worry about Harold.

A**hole.

- Hello.

- Rich, it's Mitch.

Mitch. Hey. Oh, thank God.

Tell me you found him.

I've tracked down dictators

in caves, Richard.

I can find a guy

in middle management.

Miles will be back soon

with your painkillers.

Those are gonna make you

feel a lot better.

Listen, you are very kind,

but, really,

I will be okay on my own.

I think you ought

to have someone

just keep an eye on you.

You're really beat up.

I'm Sunny, by the way.

I never met anyone

named Sunny before.

Well, I never met a Harold.

So we're even, Steven.

You know, if you Google

the name Harold,

it's the most common name

with the least amount

of famous people

associated with it.

Well, why don't you

go by Harry?

There are a lot

of famous Harrys,

like that magician

with the water tank.

- Houdini.

- Yeah.

And Harry S. Truman,

the president.

And lots of singers.

Harry Potter, obviously.

I love Harry Potter.

I've read every single book.

Harry.

- Harry Soyinka.

- Yeah, I like that.

Okay, it's official, I'm gonna

call you Harry from now on.

I 've got Jerry on line one.

- Hey, Jerry!

- Elaine!

I heard AFT was crying

when they got the news.

Guess they felt like they

danced with you all night, too.

Someone's gotta

go home alone, right?

Unless you're into threesomes.

Elaine, so anyway,

been going over

our departments.

A lot of redundancies.

Fire whoever you want.

Well, the problem

might be right at the top.

With me and Marty,

we're not gonna need both you and Richard.

Have you guys

talked about this?

Hey, Jer, how about

you and I get together

for a drink tonight?

Bat a few ideas around.

I don't know.

Well, well, yeah. Okay.

I'll have my secretary get you

all the information.

- That's great.

- Great.

Hey, Elaine...

Hello?

F***!

Relax, Richard.

It's under control.

This is a midnight run.

Let's just talk about

the money later, okay?

Richie, we'll talk about

the money now. All right?

You tend to have a faulty

memory where money's concerned.

None of

your business bullshit.

One million for the ransom,

200 grand for me and the Haiti kids.

A million dollars.

A million dollars

for Harold Soyinka.

This is like paying $1,000

for a Whopper Junior.

Yeah, well,

think of it as karma

- for banging his wife.

- Great, Mitch, just...

- A million!

- Just go do whatever you do.

All right.

He'll be on the next

plane to Chicago.

I know that whatever

happened to you

is none of my business, but

is there anybody

that you need to call?

No.

My wife just left me.

What about friends?

There's no one to call.

Well...

I like the way

you talk, Harry.

You have a really cool accent.

Are you Jamaican?

- No.

- Oh...

I'm Nigerian.

I don't know

much about Nigeria,

except once I got an e-mail

from a Nigerian prince

saying that he would give me a

ton of money if I helped him out.

You didn't send him

the money, did you?

'Cause you might have been

sending it to my uncle.

Your uncle does that?

Like try and steal

from people like that?

Yes, he's one of those people.

He tried to get

my father to join him,

but he would not.

Now, my uncle

has lots of houses, land,

sport cars and a yacht,

and my father is a poor man.

The world

is upside down, Sunny.

I don't think it pays

to be a good person.

I mean, look at you.

You seem to be a good person.

Do you have a sports car?

Do you have a yacht?

I don't need a sports car

or a yacht.

Well, I'm glad you didn't

help my uncle pay for his.

I think you're wrong, Harry.

I think the world

is just fine.

I think it's some of the

people in it who are wrong.

Trust me,

I have good instincts.

I make bad decisions,

but I have good instincts.

You'll see, things are gonna

start to get better for you.

Harry! What's going...

Wait!

Okay, okay, okay.

What? I don't understand!

In your face! In your head!

Chinga, your head!

Okay, okay, okay.

- Put it on!

- Put it on!

Harry!

Sunny?

So I couldn't get paracetamol,

but I did...

Shh.

Richard sent me. Let's go.

What about the ransom?

Why didn't they pay

the ransom?

Who gives a f***

about the ransom?

I'm gonna have you back in the

States in time for dinner.

- Sunny.

- Miles?

- Miles!

- Sunny?

Miles? Miles!

- Sunny!

- Miles, I'm in here!

- Thank God. You okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine! Are you okay?

Yeah. What time is it?

What? I don't know.

Oh, no.

What?

Uh...

Oh, f***.

- I've gotta go. Um...

- What?

I'm really sorry, babe.

Go to our room, lock the door.

- Where are you going?

- I'll be back soon.

Beginner.

- Professional.

- Ah, s.

No.

Hmm?

Harold?

Harold!

Harold, come back here!

Harold!

Stop! Sh*t!

Sh*t!

Sorry!

Excuse me!

Hey!

Okay.

Ah!

The genius wakes.

So,

riddle me something, shithead.

Why does a man run away

from someone

who's saved his life? Hmm?

You don't know?

Right.

Harold, who are these two?

They are tourists

from the motel.

Really? You sure?

What about those two a**holes?

They run the motel.

They run the motel?

Mmm.

You weren't kidnapped,

were you?

You set this up yourself.

On the one hand,

I am surprised

you had the balls.

On the other,

this sh*t show can only be

the work of a f***ing amateur.

Why did you do it? Money?

Revenge 'cause

he was banging your wife?

You... You didn't know?

Oh, sh*t.

Try not to take it

too personally.

I thought he was my friend.

Remember the story about

five years ago,

a woman in Pennsylvania

kept a black bear as a pet.

She looked after it, fed it.

And then one day,

it mauled her, you know?

She's shocked!

I mean, she thought

they were friends.

But it's a f***ing bear,

Harold.

We're gonna need

a couple new passports

after that incident

at the airport.

Who would you wanna be?

I'm gonna let you choose

your own name.

You're forging passports?

This is a magic box,

my friend.

I've been 25 different

people in my life,

and the 200 grand

I'm getting for your ass

is going right

into my little account

in the Grand Caymans.

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