Grow House Page #3

All they had to do was promote that sh*t.

I coulda at least got

Mix-a-Lot money, bro.

Like Sir

Mix-a-Lot?

Mix-a-Lot still

eatin' off of ass!

He eating ass?

- I said "eating off ass".

- You said...

(scatting)

I like big butts

and I cannot lie

- That sh*t.

- That's all it takes.

One big booty song and we blow the f*** up.

Niggas love ass.

Well I love money.

A'ight, so let's focus

on these greens, man.

Hand me that pamphlet

so I can go through it.

Let's get this thing crackin.

"10 Steps to Growing Medicine for Noobs."

Man, niggas on social networks

be lying they ass off on here.

Step one,

- location, location, location.

- 2016 Bentley Convertible...

Would you stop fantasizing

on the damn Twittergram, man,

and focus?

A'ight, find a low-crime area...

(snickers) ...for your grow room.

You don't want to bring

other people's attention

or problems to you.

Well that just shut us out

'cause everybody around us is criminals.

Step two, live where you grow.

Get to know your neighbors.

Is it a Panamera?

- Panamera Porsche.

- Look man,

would you stop f***ing

focusing on that bullshit

and figure out how we can

get some damn start-up cash?

Is that like "extra cash"?

Look man, we gotta get like a

small business loan or something.

How your credit?

I mean, it ain't bad.

- Good.

- It ain't good, neither.

I still got that jet ski.

That's like a carpet stain.

Every time you clean it

up, sh*t get dirty again.

All I got is a truck in my

shed, and I'm like, only like,

five or six payments behind and I...

Ain't nobody gonna give us no goddamn loan.

Come on, man. Now's not

the time to be doubtful.

Look how close we is, man.

And we won't know nothing

till we try, right?

This America!

Is it our America though?

We're African-American.

It's America.

F*** if it's our America.

We sellin' that damn weed.

And the green f***ing rush is real.

A'ight? Like the old school gold rush.

This our time brotha!

- Okay.

- You understand that?

You wanna say "we shall overcome"?

We shall overcome!

DARIUS:
Hey, you wanna hit this?

- PAT:
We can't go in no bank high.

- DARIUS:
Too late.

PAT:
Yo, I been banking here for years.

So that should help.

MR. WHITE:
Good evening gentlemen.

- Hey how you doin...

- What's up, boy?

And now let me check in here for a sec.

Uh-huh.

Alright. Okay.

You guys are here seeking capital and...

- ...tell me about it.

- Oh yeah.

So I'm here looking to

get a little seed money

- to get my business off the...

- Seed money.

...ground.

- Some seed money.

- Yes.

My bad.

As the business grows...

- (Darius snickering)

- we can pay back...

"Grows". That's a good one.

You killed me with that.

"Grows".

Are you guys okay?

Oh, yeah!

We just excited!

You know, to get the grassroots

of this company going,

you know what I mean? Get

our feet firmly planted,

that way we can branch out

to help the whole community.

Branch.

I see. Let me just ask you this.

What kind of business are you

guys really trying to start?

- Medical consulting...

- Tax consulting...

Say what?

He's new to the name.

He's part of the company.

We got him from The Bahamas.

He's from The Bahamas?

Oh he just started. He's in

training for the business.

And we also need a little

extra money for that too.

Well good luck on that.

So we got it? Yeah!

Mr. White, you will not be sorry.

That's not what I said.

I've been looking through your

history and your records here

and it just seems as though...

I don't really think I'm going

to be able to get this bank

to approve a loan for you guys.

Wait, what did my history

say? You lookin' at my history?

Your history, sir, is that...

you're already like $756

overdrawn in your account.

Only thing consistent is for two years,

you do have a bank balance.

Nineteen thou...

$19.87.

Nineteen dollars? You

can't take that out the ATM.

That's stuck in there, bro.

Close that, right? Now

let's say that's closed,

and keep your mind open.

It's been hard on me.

It's been hard on America.

Especially African-Americans.

Boom!

- African.

- Bro.

You guys really... You're

really taking up my time.

You know what, I really do...

Oh, taking up your time?

I have real customers, thank you.

You mean white customers.

Say, he don't like that.

- I don't like you.

- Grown Gangsta don't play that.

- You don't like me?

- No.

- You Grown Gangsta?

- F*** you!

- F*** me?

- Wait a second!

- I need Darius right now.

- I don't give a f***. F*** him.

PAT:
That's Grown Gangsta!

Thanks, Mr. White.

That's why you comb your hair backwards.

You old mothafucka. His old ass.

A**hole and a**hole light.

Shake up out of here.

(phone vibrating, beeping)

Okay, we need somebody that got money

to give us some money 'cause

they know we gonna make money,

and they smoke weed.

They definitely gonna have to smoke weed

'cause you gonna have to be high

as hell to loan us some money.

Somebody that love weed,

and wanna make some extra cash.

Brah, when you gonna stop

saying this extra cash sh*t.

Ain't no such thing called extra cash.

You got extra hos,

extra holes in yo' drawers,

extra ass...

Somebody...

There ain't no such

thing as extra cash, bro.

Somebody we could pay back in weed.

You know, it's funny you say...

I just thought about something.

That's the perfect candidate

to loan us the money.

- I know who we can get.

- Who?

The king of weed.

Who?

Snoop Doggy Dogg

Oh you know it.

See I hit that note.

Oh you know...

Why you always playing when I'm

trying to come up with ideas, man?

Who for real? Snoop Dogg?

I'm telling you, bro. I'mma tweet

him now. See if he'll holler at me.

I'mma tell him to DM me.

Beastie boy, hit me up. I need...

- "Step number three: Finances."

- ...call me ASAP.

Make sure you have the wherewithal...

He just DM'd me, let me hit him up.

...and that ain't it.

Tweetin' and sh*t, man.

- (phone beeping, buzzing)

- You tweetin' Snoop?

Oh sh*t, he callin' me.

- Hello?

- Tweet Snoop.

What's up, boy?

- Who that? Snoop?

- You know who this is?

SNOOP DOGG:
This D, right?

Grown Gangsta?

Oh sh*t!

Man, calm your b*tch-ass down!

Don't you f*** with me.

Who is that, for real?

DARIUS:
Yeah, what's up, bro?

I wanted to holler at

you about some stuff, man.

Hey I know we ain't talked in a minute

but I got some stuff I

wanna talk to you about.

Yeah, it been a minute.

You got that good, nephew?

Yeah, man. You know I do, bro.

Sh*t, I mean that last one

you put out was fire, nigga.

That mix-tape was bangin'.

Oh, you talkin' 'bout my mix-tape.

Hell yeah. You know how I do.

You know I gotta get

back in the studio.

Them streets been

yellin' for your boy.

What?

Put Snoop on hold real quick?

Hold on, bro. I gotta ride on my enemies.

Could you please stop f***ing

talking about your rap career?

Nobody care 'bout your little career, man.

Little rap career, bro?

- You say that? My friend?

- No, no. Wait.

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