Grow House Page #8

I didn't, man. What I look like?

Smashin' some random hot chick

while my boy layin' on the ground dead.

- A pimp?

- Yeah you right.

Oh by the way, your boy

Chris picked up clones.

Meetin' us at the crib right now.

Okay, all the timers are

set to eighteen hours.

Light timers and the food timers set, too.

PAT:
Cool.

You're not gonna need that pamphlet.

Nah he does. He's growin' weed for noobs.

And it's symbolic. A'ight?

Step seven:
The plants are all in.

Ready, set, grow!

Here we go!

I heat up

I can't cool down

Got me spinnin'

around and round

Round and round

Around it goes

Where it stops, nobody knows

Everytime you call my name

I heat up like

a burning flame

Burning flame

Full of desire

Kiss me baby, let

the fire get higher

- (mouthing)

- Abra Abracadabra

I wanna reach

out and grab ya

Abra Abracadabra

Abracadabra

You make me hot,

you make me sigh

My penis is

bigger than yours

My penis is

bigger than yours

Especially Chris, my

dick bigger than yours

My penis is big

Hey yo! Yo yo! Wake up, man.

There's something growin' on the plants.

Those are called buds.

We're gonna smoke them eventually.

I know what that is, but this

some gray moldy type sh*t.

Look.

That's mold.

Sh*t.

I just told you that was

mold, man. What the...

Alright, I'm gonna go to the

truck and get a sulfur burner.

Good morning.

So what made all that mold grow?

That's just what happens

when the pH levels get crazy.

Gotta keep your eye on it.

That gotta be tough when

you sleep all the time, huh?

What are you talking 'bout?

Uh, my grandma told me back in

the day, like if you pee on it

that'll make all the mold go.

Your grandma grew weed?

- Hey!

- Doesn't work.

Everything that you put on

the plants is what you smoke.

Don't do that.

Do you pee with your pants down?

How else do you pee? Don't

y'all pee with y'all pants down?

That's why you have a zipper.

That's not a thing that normal people do.

What's that smell?

Well the sulfur has a funny smell to it.

P*ssy has a funny smell.

That sh*t stink.

You'll get used to it.

Pull your pants up.

(knocking)

- PAT:
Who the hell is that?

- I don't know. I'mma go check.

Nuh-uh.

You stay here. I got it. Don't pee on it!

You'll get used to the smell.

Let's go check on the other plants.

- Can I pee in there?

- No.

Hey neighbor! How you doin'?

Hi.

Look, I just wanted to come back here

and tell you how rude you were to me.

- Come on.

- You slammed the door in my face,

you didn't invite me in,

and honestly, I was just

being a concerned neighbor.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Ja...

- Madison.

- Madison!

- I'm sorry, Madison.

- You forgot.

Nah, I didn't forget!

It's okay.

Madison, it was a crazy night.

- I saw that you had a crazy...

- Crazy night.

...situation going on back there.

Yeah it was wild back

there. But it's done now.

- See?

- Are they okay?

Everybody's great, yeah.

- Okay.

- Everybody's good.

I'm Pat.

Yeah, you said that.

Remember? The other night?

- That's what you did to me.

- Oh.

I do that... we do that.

Why are you such a nervous person?

You're either really nervous naturally,

or you're hiding something

terrible in this house.

Just because you think we crazy,

I'm gonna invite you in.

Are you sure?

I'm sure.

Are you good?

Yeah. As normal as I can be.

- Okay.

- Alright.

This is... this is

really nice. I like this.

It is. It's nice.

In here. Wonderful.

This is beautiful though. I love it.

Yes it is beautiful.

Sorry.

I'm talkin' about the house.

Pat! Oh!

My bad. I didn't know we had company.

Oh.

- Hey.

- Hello.

- Hi.

- How you doin'?

I think I met you or saw

you rather the other day.

Oh, for real? Where?

Well it looked like you were

getting mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

It was. I was getting

mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

He has this medical condition

that he can only be revived

by a man with a beard.

Hey, Chris needs you upstairs

to help him out with something.

- Can you handle that?

- For real?

Can you handle that? The

white man needs the black man.

- Go on up there.

- I'll be right back. Alright?

Take your time.

(mouthing)

What's up, I'm Darius.

I'm Madison.

You can call me Dah-rius.

(doorbell ringing, knocking)

What the hell is goin' on?

Can you wait one second?

- Okay.

- Just one second. I'll be...

(doorbell ringing

frantically, knocking quickly)

Hey, boo. What you need?

What do I need? Boy get out

the way. This ain't your house.

What you doing?

Oh.

Who the hell is this b*tch?

Huh? Got on her little

workout gear and sh*t?

What the hell's going

on? Y'all workin' out?

Um, excuse me.

Do I look like I workout? Look at me!

I knew it! Alright, every

man is a shady-ass cheater!

Alright?

That is such a blanket statement to make.

You can't just say every man is a...

B*tch, I don't need your two cents, okay?

I know how niggas are.

- Especially this one.

- Oh.

What the f***, b*tch? I'm Grown Gangsta!

Oh, you a gangsta, huh? You gangsta?

You can't be rollin'

up in here acting all...

I will do whatever the hell

I wanna do up in this house.

- Okay?

- Look, you need to calm down.

Okay, you know what? It

was really nice to meet you.

Yeah you better be going before

I have to put hands on you.

Stop, don't do that. Calm down.

You better watch out.

Tell Pat I said goodbye.

- Bye, b*tch!

- Leave before you die.

- Bye!

- Calm your ass down.

Why you acting like...

Ah, no you didn't!

- Alright.

- What?

What is you tripping about?

...cause I know there some

other b*tches up in here!

Ain't nobody up in here.

You better watch out!

- Calm down! Calm down!

- Where you at?

Come here! Come here!

Don't play with me.

You better let go of me!

- Stop. Stop!

- I know you got a b*tch in here.

Stop! Stop! Stop!

I got a side boo too.

What? I'm doin' the job...

Oh my God.

For real?

Well this my side b*tch. You happy?

I can't believe them people got evicted

and left all their weed here.

Got me taking care of

this weed they left here.

Ain't that stupid?

Oh, so you must think I'm stupid.

It's cool. 'Cause you

gonna meet my side boo.

Make sure she doesn't call the police!

- I got you.

- You got a side boo?

Hold up! I was gonna tell you!

When? Huh? After you smoked

it all? After you sold it?

Huh? After a f***ing police raid?

You wasn't gonna tell me sh*t.

- Calm down!

- You was gonna tell me

'bout that b*tch too, huh?

- Huh? What b*tch?

- Oh, "huh"! "Huh"!

That's what I thought.

F*** you Darius!

Alright? F*** you!

I'mma show you what it's like when you

bring some b*tch up into my people's house.

Then you wanna start some grow house?

And you wasn't gonna cut me in?

It's not like that if you listen...

You know what? It's over.

Okay. I'mma show you what it's like

when you play games with me.

And let me tell you something,

you really was only my side boo anyways.

Huh? What did you say?

I think she said that

you were her side boo.

Man, shut the f*** up.

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