Grow House Page #9

Synopsis: There's a boom in medical marijuana dispensaries in the state of California and the U.S. These facilities have reached record numbers, cropping up like Starbucks or McDonald's. States across the nation are legalizing medical and recreational marijuana. Our two unlikely heroes, Pat (DeRay Davis - "EMPIRE," "21 Jump Street," "GI Joe") and Darius (Lil' Duval - "Scary Movie 5," "Meet the Blacks"), figure they can help the medical marijuana movement, but mainly help themselves by trying to grow their own cannabis and selling their crop to the dispensaries. There's only one problem - knowing how to smoke marijuana doesn't mean you know how to grow it. After taking a trip to Dr. Doobie (Malcolm McDowell - "Entourage", "The Mentalist," "Home Alone") to become legally certified growers, they gain access to a Bel-Air mansion to use as a "grow house." Although they convince Snoop Dogg (played as himself) to fund their operation, our heroes soon discover what can grow wrong, will go wrong in this
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): DJ Pooh
Production: Rocky Mountain Pictures
 
IMDB:
4.4
R
Year:
2017
96 min
Website
92 Views


- Hey man.

- You asked.

Look, f*** that.

What now?

- She'll be back.

- Does she own a gun?

Nah, nah. I took all of the bullets.

But she owns a gun?

Hey! Hey baby!

Make sure she really left.

Man, I don't know what's

going on with the filter.

Something's wrong, man.

It should be sucking out

the heat along with the weed

and the sulfur smell.

Man, for real. It is

hot as sh*t in here, man!

This how I know I could never be a slave.

Man, I have to be a house nigga.

F*** that outside sh*t good.

And why would the tenants take

the air condition unit anyway?

How else you gonna have a grow room?

That's so disrespectful, man.

I'm a Buddhist, man. I'm a Buddhist.

I need to be on top of a mountain,

the cool breeze,

leaves blowing in the wind...

I think I'm blacking out.

I'm gonna go open the front door.

Let a little heat out.

Yeah that's a good idea.

Tell the guys that I'll be back.

Yeah, uh-huh. You better get goin!

That's what I thought.

There you go, baby.

Mm-hnmm! I'm back. Now what?

Oh don't look shocked, okay?

'Cause I told your lame

ass I was coming back.

Listen, why the hell

is it so hot up in here?

What you doin' here with him?

Oh no. The question is

what was I doing with you.

PAT:
Hey! Hey!

What's going on, baby?

Oh you 'bout to find out. Alright?

And I told your ass to

stop calling me baby.

So you think you just

gonna drive off without me?

And that's the end of the story?

- Keep the gun on him.

- Oh no, I got him.

Stop waving that goddamn

gun like that. Put it down!

Shut the f*** up. She put the gun

wherever I say she put the gun.

Look...

what's up, Reg? What you need?

What do I need?

He's my man, fool.

He got more authority in here than you do.

- Reg your man now?

- Yeah.

Look, man. I don't know

what she told you about me.

Oh, now he don't know what I done told...

This is what she told me.

There's two b*tch-ass niggas...

- Yup, yup!

- ...with little-ass hands

that was trying to cut her out

of her portion of the weed money.

- The money? The weed money?

- Yup.

And I said, "Wait a minute,

that sounds familiar".

'Cause you know that sh*t immoral.

You always trying to f*** somebody

out of what's rightfully theirs.

What the f***?

- You tryin' to f*** her out her weed money?

- Yup.

You tried to f*** me out of walking.

I go to get us some weed

and while I'm gone somebody shoots you?

It ain't my fault you in

the goddamn wheelchair.

You say wheelchair again,

I'll roll this motherf***er

into your ass cavity.

Man, you just saying that 'cause you

know I ain't gonna do nothing to you

'cause you sittin' in that

goddamn wheelchair. Man, f*** it.

Oh no, baby!

Oh, get him!

- (grunting)

- (indistinct shouting)

REG:
Now we're here. Oh yeah!

- Get this sh*t off me!

- TERRI:
Get up baby! Don't let his little ass...

Hey stay your ass over there!

I'mma get you!

Hold his... Stop that!

What's wrong with you?

I could shoot him right now, baby.

REG:
One more wiggle!

TERRI:
Oh!

(panting)

Alright. Alright. That's enough.

Whoo!

Let's make a deal.

Now let's talk business, nigga.

Yo!

(indistinct shouting)

(laughing)

What happened? Sh*t!

Sh*t!

What happened?

Oh man.

You was giving it to Reg's ass, man!

A left, a right.

You was Darius Mayweather

in this mothafucka.

Did I win?

Nah, man.

He got you on the floor. That was it.

Where they go?

They in the other room.

I'm f***in' with you! I'm f***in'

with you! I'm f***in' with you!

They left, man.

They better have left.

Yeah they got outta here.

Good news and bad news.

Bad news, I had to cut

that nigga in on a deal.

Good news is, you and

Reg, that sh*t squashed.

Hold up, so you let him roll on us?

You let him roll over on you.

He rolled you left, he rolled you right.

That man is strong from the

waist up, man. You don't know.

He was strong from the hips up.

He f***ing your girl, man.

Whatever, man. She'll f*** anything.

I don't even f*** with

her ragged ass. No way.

Anyway, I promised to get him

three pounds as a wedding gift.

Wedding gift? What the

f***? They getting married?

Got your ass. You care!

No, I don't care.

Look at your caring ass, all concerned.

I wish them the best, I

mean, if that's what he want.

Hey, you never know.

You care. Well showing

how much we're growing

so I said three pounds.

Ain't like Reg can go upstairs and check.

We ain't getting no ramp

up in this mothafucka

so you go take more of

our weed, mothafucka.

You a vulture, bro.

I don't care, I mean I wish them the best.

(sniffing)

You smell something?

- (smoke alarm blaring)

- Fire! Fire!

Fire! Fire!

Oh sh*t! Oh sh*t!

Get something! Get something! All my weed!

(Darius screaming)

Hurry up!

Oh f***, man!

Sh*t! Damn!

(sirens wailing)

Oh sh*t. Oh sh*t. You hear that?

- That's the fire department.

- Damn, man!

They gonna wanna come in and check around!

DARIUS:
Just tell them we got

everything under control, man!

PAT:
I can't do that sh*t. They

gotta come in. They gotta check it.

- It's they policy!

- Well that can't happen.

Oh man, they gonna come in,

they gonna see what we've been doing.

They gonna call the f***ing police, man.

Then you going to jail!

I ain't going to jail,

I'm snitching on you.

Damn!

Is there a fire?

Please tell me my BBC wolf is okay!

Everything is good. Everything is good.

Bring the hose.

Hose? No, no! No need for a hose!

Right there.

Okay.

So how'd the trashcan catch fire?

(sniffing)

Is that the smell of a leafy substance

resembling that of marijuana?

You have a great nose.

And also amazing eyes.

Well what happened was...

we're legal. This is a marijuana card.

Why I got this is because of uh...

- A lack of appetite!

- Lack of appetite.

And what happened was I was smoking

and when I put my weed out

I forgot to put it all the

way out. It started a fire.

FIREMAN:
Well you can never be too

sure those things are fully out.

Next time break it down into

smaller pieces before you roll it.

- Will do.

- Mhmm.

(mouthing)

We're all good here.

He smoke...

He is dreamy.

You're amazing!

How did you think... You thought of this?

How did you do that, man?

Double lucky blessings.

Don't you start with that again, man.

I don't care how you came

up with it. It's brilliant.

Alright?

- Now look.

- What's up?

Matt said he gonna send

somebody here tomorrow

to check out them damn filters.

I just hope the weed last overnight.

Ah!

Did you just say, "I hope

the weed lasts overnight"?

DARIUS:
Nah, your hearing aid's messing up.

I said I hope we last overnight.

- We last overnight.

- Us.

Did you also say... that someone

was coming to fix the filters?

- Heat filters.

- Heat filters.

Oh no. Oh no.

And all those lights that you

hauled off of the hydro truck.

Maybe I think I should

just call Henry's people.

And maybe I'm gonna call the cops

and I'm just gonna tell them

that they should walk around...

Oh come on, man!

I am disappointed!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

DJ Pooh

Mark Jordan (born June 29, 1966 in Los Angeles, California), better known by his stage name DJ Pooh is an American record producer, voice actor, rapper, screenwriter, actor and film director. more…

All DJ Pooh scripts | DJ Pooh Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Grow House" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 20 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/grow_house_9367>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Grow House

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Quiz

    Are you a screenwriting master?

    »
    Who played the character "James Bond" in "Casino Royale"?
    A Pierce Brosnan
    B Roger Moore
    C Daniel Craig
    D Sean Connery