Growing the Big One Page #6

of a really

lovely evening.

Bobby, trust me,

one of these days

you are going to thank me

for saving you

from that lunatic.

[Chuckles]

It takes one

to know one, my friend.

You know

what I don't get?

Why is she so gung-ho

on winning this contest?

Well, you didn't

hear it from me, but...

Walt's farm's

in big trouble,

and she wants to

pay off the loan

so it doesn't go

to some big developer.

Good night.

Hi there.

Good morning.

Are you, uh...

You going

somewhere, or...

Uh, to your place.

I-i was just going to

leave this on your door.

[Chuckles]

"Seth, I shouldn't have

maced you.

I'm sorry."

Apology accepted.

Actually I was, uh,

just coming over here

to apologize to you,

you know, for the, uh,

whole coyote thing.

Yeah, why did you

lie about that, anyway?

Uh...

You wanted to ruin

my date with Bobby.

Why?

You wouldn't

understand.

Try me.

Okay, um...

I was trying to keep Bobby

from getting hurt.

You thought I would hurt him?

No.

I would.

The sun mixes with the moisture

beading on her skin."

I'm don't think

that means sprinklers.

I'm telling you,

they need water.

[Novelty horn honks]

Oh, finally!

The stop I've been waiting for.

How are Walt's seeds doing?

And a couple more

back there as well.

So?

Oh, no.

Well, y-y-you don't have

enough pumpkins here

to make a pie.

They should be

huge by now!

You should be up

to your knees

in pumpkins!

I told you

those greenhouses

well, your singing didn't

help things, did it?

Okay, this isn't

"American idol"!

Yeah, it's not

American express, either!

What is that

supposed to mean?

Not everything

can be bought

on a credit

card, okay?

Comes in a ups box

from Seattle or New York--

oh, quiet down,

you two!

Now, look,

I'm not supposed to

be giving out advice

during

the competition,

so you did not

hear this from me--

[whispering]:

feed those babies!

They're starving!

More fertilizer?

Truckloads.

Don't say it.

Told you so.

Don't say it.

Hey, Seth!

Could you explain to our

listeners and webcam viewers

what exactly it is

that you're working on?

It's an extreme

nutrient machine.

Okay, can you tell us

how it works?

Thank you.

Why, certainly, Emma.

You put the raw manure

in there,

and then the machine

mixes it with water

in there,

and then

a time-release mechanism

pumps it to the pumpkins.

[Emma]:
right, and how much

manure does it take?

Uh, that depends.

How much can you

come up with?

Me?

Yeah, you.

I do the machines,

remember?

Okay, you know what,

after the show,

i will run down

and get some of

Bobby's blend.

This machine doesn't take

commercial fertilizer.

Only the real deal.

Raw manure.

So, you want me

to collect--

the latimer farm

just down the road?

Lots of horses.

Huh?

[Clucks appreciatively]

Have fun.

So, there you have it, folks.

One more step towards

our march to victory.

[Motor whines]

[Nutrient machine whines]

You done good.

Really?

I am so pleased.

I mean, I would hate

to have messed up

collecting horse poop!

Oh, come on,

you want to win, right?

No, I want to

go home,

all right? To the city.

Where they have movies,

and concerts, and lattes,

and where it actually

smells good!

Drama queen!

[Knocking]

Would you like to go

to the movies with me?

There aren't any theaters here.

There's actually

a very elegant theatre

is this another one

of your coyote stories?

Movie starts

in 20 minutes.

Okay, I'll go

put my clothes on.

Not on my account.

This better be for real.

Okay.

[Projector hums]

John, go,

go on in there.

All you have to remember

is to be Sincere--

this is great.

Hmm? I told you.

Okay, you get up,

wander around,

stretch your legs,

whatever.

I got to change

the reel.

You know, I love

old movies.

Oh, me too.

Sturges,

Wilder, capra.

Man, they just don't make 'em

like that anymore.

[Cat meows]

Hey, there, kitty, you lost?

Hungry's

more like it.

She's yours?

Um... yeah.

Her and, uh...

A couple others.

Okay, actually,

i got five cats,

but don't tell anyone,

all right?

[Laughs]

I miss having a cat.

Really?

Really, seriously?

Because a grown man

shouldn't have five cats.

No, um, you know,

i wish I could, but...

My life right now,

it's just too much

responsibility.

Right, yes, I know.

I know, this is just

the big stopover

on your way back

to your other life, right?

Can I ask you something?

Well, you can ask.

I'm not sure

I'm going to answer.

Why is a Stanford

engineering grad

making a living

fixing cars and tractors?

Who said

I'm making a living?

Oh, you're serious, um...

Okay, well, uh,

I had a cush job once

at a big firm in L.A.,

and I had the house

with the pool, and the car,

and the girlfriend,

and the whole thing.

A lot of years flew by

before I finally woke up

and realized

that I was wasting my life.

And that's when

you came to valleyville?

Well...

It's home, you know?

I like the honesty.

I like the small town kindness.

It just...

It kind of suits me, you know?

What about the girlfriend?

Oh!

[chuckles]

She lasted a whole week

before she ran off screaming.

I'm sure you can empathize.

I seem to remember

Walt saying something

about you having

a boyfriend in New York.

That didn't

work out.

Oh.

why, what happened?

My job.

I got this great offer

in Seattle.

I went, he stayed.

Hmm.

Wow, you must really

love your work.

I guess what I really love

is talking to people.

You know, ever since

i was little,

I dreamed of having

my own talk show,

and my parents used to save

the empty paper towel rolls,

and I would use them

as microphones

and interview my Barbies.

I even had a name picked out--

but that would require you

to have friends.

[Laughs]

Come on,

that's a joke.

No, I know

it sounds stupid.

No, it doesn't sound

stupid at all,

not at all.

I'm sure your parents

would be very proud.

Thank you.

Well, um, reel's ready.

Let's watch some more movie.

Okay, be prepared...

To be entertained.

Now, please, John,

you won't let me down,

will you?

Mother says

good luck, too.

Please, please believe

every word of it.

He turned out to be

a wonderful person, John.

John Doe,

the one in the speech.

I've actually

fallen in love with him.

Okay, the ac is off,

so I'm interviewing

valleyville's

pumpkin widow support group

here at Marie's general store.

So how was

movie night?

[Giggling]

Uh, Marie,

this is a gardening show.

Okay, so I'll

rephrase that.

Um, did anything bloom

in that barn last night?

[Giggling]

Uh, so, uh,

can you ladies

tell me

what you talk about

while you meet?

Oh, well, basically

just complain

about our men.

At least Jeff lets

you in the patch.

Yeah, Hank's got his

electrified

I have to toss his lunch

over the fence!

This time of year,

Russell's completely

lost interest in me.

For the orange hotties

in the garden.

Really?

We haven't been on a

vacation in 10 years.

Hank took the blanket

off our bed

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