Growing the Big One Page #5

Here!

All right, this is Emma silver,

reminding you

to smell the coffee,

drive carefully,

and, of course,

join us next time.

Bye!

Hey, Seth!

Hey, Bobby.

I'm taking a load

of my special blend

over to Emma's.

Well, I'm sure

she'll be appreciative.

Yeah, well,

it's been forever

since we had

any sophistication

so I want to impress her

with the good stuff.

Right.

Well, if a truckload of manure

won't do it, Bobby,

I don't know what will.

Thanks, buddy!

Good luck.

Hey, Bobby,

what have you got there?

Well, I have

a surprise for you.

I love surprises.

Well, then, you are

going to love this.

This is

Bobby's blend supreme.

And I throw in a little

bit of bat guano

to give it

that extra kick.

That's great.

You don't have to worry

about it or anything.

I left a big old pile of it

in my living room

and there wasn't even

a trace of toxicity or stench.

Mmm...

[Inhaling]

Wow.

That is just

so nice of you.

[Chuckling]:

yeah...

It's all for you.

[Chuckles

awkwardly]

Thanks.

[Chuckles]

Now, that

is romantic.

I see Bobby brought

you his gift.

Yeah, uh...

What am I supposed

to do with it?

I can think of

a few things.

Walt tilled it into

the ground, though.

Oh...

Uh, how?

With his tiller.

It's in the shed.

[Struggling]

You know...

It's probably

out of gas.

You knew

it was out of gas!

I suspected.

Big difference,

but I'll

tell you what.

I'll start it

for you.

Then all you

got to do is steer.

The tiller

will do the rest, hmm?

Oh, and, uh...

Don't let the cameras

make you nervous.

Although...

My offer still stands.

You want to partner up,

I'll take care of

all the machinery,

the tiller, tractor,

all that stuff.

Partnering up as in

splitting the prize money?

Yeah, that sounds fair to me.

Not interested.

Besides,

i don't really need you.

I have secret

growing information.

Uh-huh, yeah,

I'm sure you do.

Okay...

[Tiller engine roars to life]

[Shrieks]

You're doing great!

Ooh...

[Groans]

Oh, you broke

the casing.

You bent the blades,

you broke

the fuel line,

not to mention

the fence.

No, I'm fine, it's okay,

thank you for asking.

[Sighs]

Come on, face it,

you do need me.

So, are we going to

partner up or what?

Ugh, over my dead body.

[Laughs]

I don't think that's

going to take very long...

I'll get the tiller!

Come on, Marie.

No, they won't.

I'm bringing the beer.

You play

poker, Emma?

I know my way

around a deck.

Brought

some new blood.

Hey, everyone.

You know, if you play

the way you till,

this could make for

a very interesting evening.

No, come on in, join us.

Please.

Uh-huh.

Ah, I fold.

This brie

is heaven, Emma.

Not as good

as the gouda, though.

Only thing you know

about cheese is cutting it.

Okay, that's enough, boys.

I'm out.

Okay, slick,

I will raise you...

Two.

I re-raise you...

Two.

Well, you know

what they say...

I'm out.

[Laughing]

All right, call.

Okay,

let's see--

ah!

Oh, she got

you, buddy!

Oh, got smoked, huh?

Our city girl knows

what she's doing.

Yeah, well, I paid

most of my college tuition

from playing poker.

That's funny,

'cause I spent most

of my time studying.

You went to college?

Yeah, I went

to college.

Stanford.

Engineering,

actually.

- Really?

- mm-hm.

I would think

that a Stanford man

would play smarter.

[Laughter]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just deal,

it's not that funny.

Wasn't that funny...

[]

All right,

you two,

what about me?

I know you're bluffing.

You do?

I'm out.

You know, you should

probably fold too.

I raise you four.

Four?

Hmm...

Tell you what,

you want to make this

real interesting?

What do you have in mind?

I win this hand,

you and me...

Pumpkin-growing partners.

Hmm?

[Chuckling and groaning

knowingly]

And if I win,

you do all of my tractor work,

my tilling,

and all

the heavy lifting.

No charge, of course.

[Laughing]

Yeah, okay,

I'm in.

Let's see what you got.

Full house,

Jacks over kings.

Ohh...

Somebody's working.

That, uh...

That's a really

good hand, yeah.

I have...

I have two pair.

I have a pair

of black eights,

and I have this pair

of red eights.

[Everyone chuckles]

Well, I guess

that does it...

I'll see you

at sunrise, partner.

[Laughter]

Nice, nice...

Emma, always a pleasure.

We are back with

another broadcast

from pumpkin central.

Now, so far,

we have tilled the soil,

and we have transplanted

our seedlings,

so, the lines are open.

Do you have

a pumpkin question for me?

[Woman]:
no, I have one

for your partner, though.

Uh, you know what, I'm sorry,

but he's not available.

[Woman]:
I can see him

right behind you!

[Woman]:

this is really important.

Seth?

Mm-hm?

Someone needs to talk to you.

Cool.

All right.

Just put these on, huh?

Mm-hm.

Uh, hello?

How can I help you?

[Woman]:
my girlfriends and I

think you're hot!

[Laughs]

Uh, well, thank you.

And we'd like to know

if you're single.

That is not

a pumpkin question.

Why, yes, actually,

i am single.

We think you have sexy eyes.

[Scoffing]:

oh, please.

He does not.

How can you say that?

Because I am

sitting right here

looking at him,

and he is...

Average.

At best.

[Woman]:
you must be blind.

Okay, do you have

a pumpkin question?

Seth, call me at 978--

[click]

Hey! that was rude.

She was nice.

Get dates

on your own time.

Okay.

Caller two,

you're on the air.

Hi, Emma, it's Bobby.

Hey, Bobby.

Do you have

a question?

Yes, I do.

Are you free for dinner?

What are those?

Oh, uh, hey...

Greenhouses.

Yeah, the journal says that

"she enjoys

gentle breezes

and summer days."

Well, I put a fan

in each of the greenhouses

and each house maintains

a constant 85 degrees--

a nice summer day

temperature.

I guess that makes sense.

Okay, where are you going

in that dress?

I'm, uh, going to dinner

with Bobby.

Oh. okay--

uh, yeah...

But I actually need you

to help me

with these.

Okay, I'll help you tomorrow.

Okay.

Okay, no, that's great.

I mean, if you want to

chance the coyotes

getting at

the crop tonight.

Coyotes?

Yeah.

Well, I just thought

that was you.

Um, you know what,

you should've told me before.

But, um...

I will help you

first thing tomorrow. Okay?

Okay.

I mean, if there's

anything left.

Have fun

at dinner!

I will!

Well, Emma, I had

a really good time.

Your choice of wine

was perfect.

[Rattling and clattering]

Oh, my god...

What?

Uh, coyotes...

Coyotes, coyotes.

We have to scare them off!

With what?

[Whispering]:

what are you doing?

Coyotes!

i have to...

Get out! Scram!

Oh!

You maced me!

Okay, what were you

doing there?

I was checking

the greenhouses!

I can't believe

you just maced me!

Okay, I thought

you were a coyote.

Coyotes don't eat pumpkins.

No, he said...

Ah...

You are lucky

it was just mace.

My bag?

Oh, sure.

Thank you.

I had a really

good time.

Me too.

- Good night.

- Good night!

Seth, you ruined

the end

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