Grown Ups 2

Sweetheart.

Mmm?

Go over to the window right now

and open it as wide as you can.

Please let me sleep.

I think your

mother's here from Mexico,

and she needs to leave.

Open the window now.

Why don't you

open it, you lazy...

Somebody help!

Close your mouth!

No way. Can I ride him?

A deer!

Okay.

Daddy,

I left the front door open

in case any animals

wanted to come in.

You did, huh?

And one did.

Yeah.

Yeah, one crazy-ass one.

Oh, no, you did a nice thing,

sweetheart.

Greg, I'm gonna need a bat!

Daddy, no!

No, no, I'm not

going to hit the deer.

I'm just going to massage his

head for a little bit with it.

Okay, come on, come on.

He's right here.

He's eating Bowser's food.

Shh.

Okay, he knows we're here now.

Stay. Stay.

What's he looking at?

Move your doll towards me.

And back to you.

Towards me.

Back to you.

Three times, fast.

Give me that thing.

Mr. Gigglesworth?

No, don't worry.

Give it to me.

Go on. It's okay.

It's okay.

Put it in my hand.

Roxanne, take them in there.

Over there.

Hey, dude.

You like this guy?

Huh?

You want to play with him?

All right, let's go

play in the other room.

Come on. Come on, man.

Slowly walk with me.

I said slowly.

No.

Ah! Ah!

Get out of the way!

Oh, my God!

Problem solved.

Mr. Gigglesworth!

Daddy, he's killing him!

A new problem begins.

I'm sorry.

Is that your bra, Mrs. Feder?

Easy.

Ew.

It is nice.

Thank you, all right.

Cool, yeah.

Yeah, come on.

28?

Yes.

That's right again,

smarty-pants.

Hi, Dad.

Hey, Bean,

working on the math, huh?

Yep.

Mommy said if I get all

my math questions right,

I get to ride my bike to

school with Becky Feder.

Really? Okay, Bean, well,

what's seven plus nine?

Seventy-nine.

Is he a little boy

or a computer?

'Cause I can't figure it out.

Don't destroy his confidence.

Happy summer, everybody.

Whoa.

Okay, you sure you want to go

with those boots, honey?

I know you

bedazzled them yourself.

I'm just wondering

if they'll attract

too much attention,

you know, from outer space.

It's the last day of school,

and Mom says I'm

free to express myself.

Oh, building the confidence

right here with R2-D2.

Confidence. K-O-B-R-Q-V-Y.

Confidence.

Well, we're not gonna have to

pay for college.

That's for sure.

Well, looks like a horse took

a dump in Ronnie's diaper.

You're gonna need federal aid

to clean that up.

Ronnie, honey, did a doo-doo

grenade go off in your diaper?

You gonna change it?

That's not my son,

that's your son.

Ah ha ha! Yesterday

was my diaper day.

Today he is all yours, and

it's gonna get nasty. Whoo!

Go, Ronnie.

- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.

- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.

He looks like Nicki Minaj

trying to shake her butt

implants back into place.

Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.

Come on, Ronnie.

Go, Ronnie.

You got a lot of

appointments today, sweetie?

Nah, just one repair job.

Very special.

All right, I'm going in.

What is...

What is this?

A necklace?

Happy 20th anniversary, babe.

Wow, Dad, you remembered.

Oh, yeah.

Mom didn't.

Oh! That's cold.

I think I'm gonna

bust out of here.

So he gets off

the train and nobody's there?

Braden needs to spend

at least one summer with you

so he can say he has a dad,

you deadbeat, Higgins.

Well, not to be mean,

but I'm not even

1,000% sure who you are.

I was up from Florida.

Right in

the middle of making out,

I got a really bad

case of the hiccups.

Hiccups McGee?

Oh, my God, I have a kid I don't

know about with Hiccups McGee?

And no offense,

but I'm gonna have to ask

for a DNA test, you know,

because you just never...

No need.

Later, Hiccups.

You're him.

Yeah, without the hat.

It's actually a good likeness.

How you doing, man?

I'm your dad.

Nice to see you, Braden.

That's strike one.

Good news is, you get...

Unlimited amount of strikes.

Um...

How about I take you to school?

No school.

Summertime.

Oh.

Not yet. One more day.

I know, it's a drag.

Normally I'd let you just

blow it off and play hooky,

but I'm volunteering

at the soup kitchen today,

so when I'm done,

I'll come pick you

up and we'll hang out.

I got you this, but...

Obviously you're,

like, 13, so I don't know,

but it's actually pretty nice

and cute, and you should

out the head off it, okay.

Well, let's get going.

Yo, yo,

yo, yo, don't forget this.

Is it a gift?

No, it's

the Gigglesworth massacre.

I told Becky you could

sew it back together for her.

What?

Martha Stewart

couldn't fix this.

Come on.

Oh, but you're such a good daddy

for picking up all the pieces.

That's why I've been thinking,

we moved back

here to your hometown

so we could have more quality

time with our family, right?

That's right.

How would you

feel about expanding?

Having another kid?

Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

Oh, but it's perfect

right now, you know?

If I buy one large pizza,

Greg gets two pieces,

Keith gets two, Becky gets

one, you get one, I get four.

It's kind of perfect, you know.

I don't want to have

to buy another pie.

Why don't you go on a diet,

fat gordo ste?

Come on, I've had

a job since I'm 16.

It's the first time

I've got a free schedule.

I'm just enjoying the fun.

Don't forget Becky's

ballet recital at 11:00.

I got to go to that?

I mean, I get to

go to that? Great.

I'm saying, that's... I thought

it was sold out. That's great news.

Have the best last day of

school, my gorgeous children!

I love you all!

Bye, Mom.

Bye, Mom, bye.

Yeah, last day of school, Greg.

Last chance to ask

out Nancy Arbuckle.

Nancy Arbuckle... What's that?

You like a girl?

Is that why you've been taking

them long showers?

No, I'm conditioning my hair.

That's all I do in the shower...

Condition my hair.

That's not what

the deer told me.

That deer's a liar.

I heard too much conditioning

can make you go blind.

What? Where'd you hear that?

Higgins.

I should kill him.

He's too chicken

to ask her out, Dad,

'cause she's

the hottest girl in school,

and Greg is fugly.

So what he's fugly? All the

guys in our family are fugly.

That don't stop us from

getting the hot chicks.

Look at me and look at your mother.

I mean, it makes no sense.

Only in, like, a Hollywood

movie or something.

Every guy in

school likes her, Dad.

And you'll be the guy

who ends up with her.

You know why? You're gonna

follow my three-step program.

Number one,

make the girl smile.

Number two, tell her

she has a nice smile.

Number three, say she has to

go out with you that night.

Why that night?

'Cause it gives her less time to

think about how fugly you are.

'Cause you are fugly.

That's the stupidest

thing I ever heard.

And Keithie's right... I'm too

chicken to even talk to her.

Hey, you're a Feder. Feders

ain't afraid of women, buddy.

That's not

the way I'm raising you.

Oh, by the way, Dad, did you ask

Mom if I can play football?

No, I was scared.

I'm afraid she's

gonna yell at me

in that accent that

no one understands.

Come on, Becky, it's 8:00.

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