Grumpier Old Men Page #7

Synopsis: Things don't seem to change much in Wabasha County: Max and John are still fighting after 35 years, Grandpa still drinks, smokes, and chases women , and nobody's been able to catch the fabled "Catfish Hunter", a gigantic catfish that actually smiles at fishermen who try to snare it. Six months ago John married the new girl in town (Ariel), and people begin to suspect that Max might be missing something similar in his life. The only joy Max claims is left in his life is fishing, but that might change with the new owner of the bait shop.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Howard Deutch
Production: Warner Home Video
  2 wins & 2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.6
Metacritic:
46
Rotten Tomatoes:
17%
PG-13
Year:
1995
101 min
2,014 Views


Here's the way you do it.

Now, watch.

Grab him!

Crime in ltaly.

Holy moly! My God!

Look at this thing.

Holy moly!

Get his tail.

I got it.

Now!

Is that the most beautiful

thing you've ever seen?

If I die today...

... I die a happy man.

You die today, I'm

taking your motor.

Max, just let him go.

Are you out of your mind?

Dad tried to catch

that fish for 20 years.

Catfish Hunter deserves to

be in the lake with pop.

Gustafson, you are one sick bastard.

Good boy.

Goodbye, Catfish.

The wedding!

What time is it?

We got another wedding at 3:00.

We'll make it by then.

3:
00.

Get me to the church on time.

Don't sing that.

Move it!

What're you doing?

Okay, just a little bit longer.

- No, Jacob, that's it for me. I'm done.

That's it. I've played, now.

How long have I played?

Do you see my hands.

- Stay here. Just keep playing.

I'll play one more time.

Wedding!

We're here!

Wait!

We're here!

Wait, we're here!

We're here!

Why the boots?

I'll explain later.

Explain now. Where have you been?

I've held this up for hours.

See what we missed?

Thank God we eloped.

You got the ring?

My son-in-law has got

the face of a mackerel.

Ox.

Nag.

We are gathered here today...

... to join Maxwell Goldman...

and Maria Sophia Coletta Ragetti...

... in holy matrimony.

Be sure to watch Lucky for us.

I'll miss that ugly mug of his.

Don't worry, you'll see

him before you know it.

I'll miss your ugly mug, too.

God bless you, sir.

Let go of my hand.

I'm very busy.

What's that smell?

What smell?

What a moron.

What do you say we

go back to my place...

and I'll show you

my spicy, peppy pepperoni?

What do you say we go

back to my house...

... and I'll show you my

man-sized manicotti?

Beautiful.

I'm the gangster of love.

I am the Lothario of hearts.

I don't know where I am.

Get in the car, Max.

I can't. I farted and I'm afraid to move.

What the hell is her name?

Ariel?

What's her name again?

Maria.

She left me.

You're surprised?

You don't even know her name.

Hey, d*ckhead!

I'm stuck.

I've been to Hawaii.

Which island?

I-kinda-like-to-poke-you.

You-like-a-licky-dicky.

I'm-a-kinda-kinky.

Want-a-peek-a-pee-pee?

Some stranger could catch our fish.

Some schmuck with his fish...

... and my fish and your

fish up on the...wall....

Get another actor. Please.

She's nothing but a

pigheaded ltalian with....

Go one more from the top, and a

little bit more out of breath.

If I was more out of breath, I'd be dead.

You're still a putz.

That's my line!

You will never even

know it's there.

I love you.

He's a criminal.

Should the veil be up?

Ox!

Jesus Christ!

Why the... don't you

look where you're going?

Why don't you come to my place?

I'll show you my beefy baloney.

How would you like my

bony macaroni?

Or my fatty Alfredo?

Or my hard salami?

I got them all.

Italian and lyrics

added by Njua.

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes

Mark Steven Johnson

Mark Steven Johnson (born October 30, 1964) is an American screenwriter, film director, and producer. Johnson was born in Hastings, Minnesota and graduated from California State University, Long Beach. He has written and directed the two comic book based films Daredevil and Ghost Rider as well as the film Simon Birch. His early writing credits are for the film Grumpy Old Men and its sequel Grumpier Old Men. Most recently he directed the film Finding Steve McQueen. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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