Guess Who Page #6

That is so true.

- That's a tailored joke for you.

- Why I gotta be a ho?

Ain't nobody talking about you.

- It's a sister joke!

- You're sisters.

I'm not the "ho sister."

Come on now. Can't stop now, baby.

What are three things

that a black man can't get?

What is that he can't he get?

A black eye, a fat lip, and a job.

I tell you I'm going to kick this boy's ass!

- Grandpa.

- No, it's...

We know you can take him,

but just sit down. Be nice. Come on.

- Come on, now. It's a joke.

- That's right, Daddy.

Sit down. It's just a joke.

Come on. Hee-hee, ha-ha. That's all it is.

Now if you'll excuse me...

all of a sudden, I lost my appetite.

Think I'll take a walk.

- I should have stopped at "hoe-down."

- You should have never started.

This isn't like us at home,

laughing about this bullshit.

It's my father's house, Simon.

What do you want me to do,

go upstairs and apologize to him again?

No.

Let the storm pass. It'll be fine.

Besides, he dared you!

- He double-dared! He called me chicken.

- I heard!

- I can't be called chicken.

- You have to watch him on those.

You know? I'm fresh out of ideas

as to how to impress your father.

Telling black jokes is never a good idea,

but that's just me.

You think?

I'll talk to him.

Say nice things about me.

No, I'm not going to say nice things

about you. You are still punished.

Baby, I'm a good guy.

I like ribs, too. I don't...

Why are you being so mean to me?

- My grandfather's out there.

- He's not going to come in.

- This is my mom's kitchen!

- She's not going to come in.

You're still gonna do the dishes.

- Get off me.

- Fine, I'll do the dishes.

Here, do the broccoli one.

- Dad, I have to talk to you.

- What?

- Why did you do that?

- I didn't start it. Mr. Nappy Head did.

Dad, Simon's a good man.

He has a good heart.

- A good man?

- You put him on the spot.

You really think so?

What is your problem with him anyways?

Besides the fact, of course, that he's white.

You gonna get in a heap of trouble

talking to me like that.

Don't care nothing about that man

being white. He's hiding something.

What? NASCAR?

You thought I didn't know?

Of course I knew.

We talk about everything, Simon and I.

Daddy, I love him,

and you need to start respecting that.

Then you respect me enough to tell me

in advance who you're bringing home.

- I didn't think you'd care.

- But you weren't sure.

- So you decided to test me.

- No, of course not.

- So you're looking for a reaction?

- No.

So what are you looking for?

I'm looking for you to tell me

that it's okay for me to be with him.

I'm scared.

Okay?

I'm really scared, Dad.

I know things are different now

and times have changed...

but you should really hear the kind of things

that people say to us sometimes.

And the way they look at us.

I need you to tell me

that it's okay to be with him.

Baby, me telling you it's okay

is not gonna change the world.

Dad. But it would change my world.

It will change my world

if I know that you're behind us.

I'm always behind you, sweetheart.

And I love you.

It's my job to keep you safe.

And I don't trust that kid.

- Hey, baby.

- Yes.

I'm trying to figure out where he got

all those doggone black jokes.

What do white people do, take a class...

sit around and think of new jokes

about the black man?

I don't know, Percy.

You need to let that one go.

Come on, sweetheart.

We need to practice the tango.

I told you. I ain't doing no doggone tango.

Why? You think you can't dance anymore?

No. I think the tango's a stupid dance

and I ain't doing it.

Marilyn...

why can't we do the hustle?

What's wrong with the hustle?

Because the hustle is a stupid dance...

and I want to do the tango.

Look here, woman,

can't we do this some other time?

I gotta take Dad back to the home.

- I'll be back.

- Okay.

Shut up!

All right, stop.

Okay, move a little to your left.

- Okay.

- All right, kiss me.

This is the exact spot

where I had my first kiss.

No! I'm not going to kiss you in the spot

that you had your first kiss.

- No.

- Why not?

It's some other guy's spot.

Fine.

- What was his name?

- Curtis Booker.

He had these big old Bucky Beaver teeth.

But he was such a nice boy.

He was a good kisser, too.

- Better than me?

- Way better.

- Way better?

- Yeah.

- Did he grab your ass?

- No.

- Squeeze it?

- No. We were 13.

- Grab you down here?

- No. Come on!

- Slow down.

- Come on.

- There's a car! Get out of the way!

- Come on! Yeah!

Okay, be careful.

So, this is my favorite spot.

It's pretty amazing, huh?

All right, so it's not...

the top of the world, but it's nice.

It's a fort.

It's a gun placement.

When I was little, I would sneak

out of the house in the middle of the night...

and just come out here and just dream.

Yeah?

Weren't you afraid of sneaking

out of your house?

Please. I'm not afraid of Percy Jones.

Well, that makes you and... you.

Okay, so this is just Cranford.

But it's a great place to grow up.

It's a good place to raise a family, too.

You know, maybe we shouldn't do this.

What? Live in the suburbs?

No. Tell your parents

about our engagement this weekend.

Simon, I told you not to look at him

straight in the eye.

I don't think Percy Jones is ready.

I think Percy Jones needs more time.

A lot more time for Percy Jones.

- Are you getting cold feet, Simon?

- No.

No, I'm not getting cold feet.

I can't wait to marry you.

Make babies with you.

Give me a daughter that looks just like you.

I can work on that.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

And hopefully, I can be a good dad.

I think you'll be a great dad.

You're never gonna be

like your father, Simon.

Maybe I can be like yours.

- Like Percy?

- Yeah.

- No.

- Baby, Percy Jones is a good dad.

He's there for you.

He cares about you. He loves you so much.

He does.

We just have to get him to love you.

Maybe we can start by getting him to take

the padlock off the basement door.

It's not going to happen.

Why don't you give me

a little Curtis Booker?

I can't believe I told you that.

- Come on, baby, a little Bucky Beaver?

- No.

No. How about some Simon Green?

Marilyn, you cut off the porch light?

That's my girl.

Very stylish.

I need to take a quarter inch off the pants.

I can do it here. Let me have them.

What, you mean take the pants off?

I could do with you in them

but I don't want to poke you with my needle.

You keep your eyes on the pants,

you hear me?

Mr. Jones, do you know

where the extra chairs are?

What are you, blind?

They're against the wall.

- When you go out, close the door.

- Right.

Percy, put some pants on.

We got people in the house.

- Thank you.

- Thank you, sweetheart. I didn't realize.

How long's it gonna take?

- Two shakes of a lamb's tail.

- Whatever the hell that means.

Mercy, Percy! Keep your shirt on!

Or take it off. Whatever.

Could someone answer

that damn phone? Thank you!

- Jones residence.

- This is Reggie. Who's this?

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