Gunga Din Page #2

with poor Burgess, too.

There's been none of this for 50 years.

Thuggee. That's what it is, Mitchell.

What's Thuggee, sir?

A murder cult Col. Sleeman crushed

50 years ago.

The Thugs were the most fiendish

band of killers that ever existed.

There were at least 10,000 in India,

and they murdered 30,000 people a year.

Thuggee was practiced

from the Himalayas to Ceylon.

The order was religious and worshipped

Kali, the goddess of blood.

The Thugs were stranglers,

weren't they, sir?

Stranglers. They dug the graves

of their victims in advance.

Mitchell, we must stamp this out

immediately.

The Lancers will scour the country

west of Tantrapur...

- you will search the regions to the east.

- Right.

- What do we do, sir?

- You're dismissed, Ballantine.

MacChesney, you and Cutter

will leave tomorrow with a stronger...

Ballantine, you're dismissed.

You and Cutter will take

a stronger detachment tomorrow...

into Tantrapur, to finish your work.

Maj. Mitchell and I will be in close touch

with you at all times on either flank.

Keep your eyes open for Thugs.

Ballantine would be a great help, sir.

If I may remind you...

the three of us have always

brought off things very well together.

Yes, sir. He's indispensable.

Ballantine's leaving the service in six days.

He's getting married.

Couldn't you put your foot down?

Forbid the banns? Something like that?

When the parson says, "Speak now

or forever hold your peace"...

couldn't you give him a roar, sir?

You know what I mean?

Higginbotham will replace him.

Dismissed.

- Tommy, I've got you back again.

- And I've got you.

I'm here to stay, forever and ever.

Forever and ever.

That's horrible.

- She's charmed him like a snake.

- The siren.

Wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it

with my own eyes.

Me, neither.

I can't stand it.

Me, too.

Left! Right! Center!

As you were!

Company, attention!

Right turn!

Two paces forward. March!

Head up, chin in.

Get those thumbs

behind the seams of your trousers...

Get them back.

Lower that left shoulder

an eighth of an inch. That's much better.

Otherwise you're looking

very regimental, Din.

Thank you, Sergeant.

- Was salute satisfactory?

- That's the idea...

only you want these fingers

to fan the eyebrows, more like this.

The breeze from them fingers

ought to almost blow this eyebrow off.

Now try it again.

Very good, indeed.

That one almost blew your turban off,

didn't it?

Very regimental, Din.

Keep them at it, Subedar sahib.

They may need it.

Tell the Subedar to drill the men

till sundown.

- Where did you get the bugle, Din?

- Please, sahib, I find when nobody looking.

Don't you know that's very naughty?

Please, sahib, don't take away.

Bugle only pleasure for poor bhisti.

Thank you, sahib.

- Sahib care to hear new call?

- Not now.

Very regimental, Din.

Company, attention! Company, dismissed!

Let me see your tongue, Annie.

I'd like to try it, Sergeant sahib.

Very old Indian remedy.

All right, go ahead. But be careful.

If anything happens to her, I'II...

Understand? Cry my eyes out.

No, sahib!

Very little bit goes very long way.

Gulp it down quick.

Then you won't taste it.

I know. You want your daddy

to give it to you, don't you?

Daddy will give you the medicine.

Give it to me.

There. Be a nice girl, now.

Or you'll never be strong and big

like Daddy.

If Daddy took a spoonful first himself,

Baby might do a patty-cake for him.

This is delicious.

This is...

All for a nice little elephant girl.

This is lovely.

You ain't so stupid as you look.

That's better.

Annie, don't ever worry me like that again.

There you are, you two.

I've got letters for both of you.

There. Sgt. MacChesney

and Sgt. Archibald Cutter.

Look what it says here.

"Miss Emaline Stebbins

requests the pleasure...

"of Sgt. Archibald Cutter's company

at a"...

What's that?

"...betrothal dance preceding her marriage

to Sgt. Thomas Ballantine.

"8:
00 p.m. Friday." That's tonight.

I worried so about you, dear,

while you were away.

Perfectly awful things

must have happened at Tantrapur.

It was rather touch and go there for a bit.

- You haven't told me yet about it yourself.

- No, I haven't, have I?

I had to give my undivided attention

to the repairing of the wires.

Cutter and MacChesney

should have watched out for the enemy...

but they were off chasing butterflies

or something like that.

I finally got the detachment to the river,

and we dived in and escaped.

Tommy, you're so marvelous.

That's all there is to it, I suppose.

On the last roof

we almost lost MacChesney.

His great elephant hoof

crashed through and stuck.

- How did you get him out?

- We had to saw his leg off at the hip.

If you don't believe me,

just look behind that shrub.

Save some for the elephant.

Destroy the evidence.

- Stand guard, will you?

- Yeah.

Never mind that, Sergeant. Stand easy.

- Good evening, Colonel.

- Evening, Stebbins.

- Good evening, Major.

- How are you?

No formality.

We just dropped in

to wish little Emmy the best of luck.

That's very nice of you, sir.

I'll bring Emmy to you.

- Looks like a jolly party, Sergeant.

- Yes, sir. Very jolly, sir.

Is that a punch bowl you're shutting out?

Is that punch?

Some peoples calls it a punch, sir,

but I calls it swill.

Nonsense. Stebbins is famous

for his punch. Have a spot?

Rather.

Excuse me, sir.

I wouldn't touch it if I were you, sir.

Too watery, sir. Besides,

it'll rust in the lining of your stomach.

- We'll be the judge of that.

- Wait, sir. There's a fly.

- I don't see a fly.

- Neither do I.

There it is, sir. It just dove under the ice.

I'll get the little nipper in half a jiffy.

I got him.

Hear him? Humming like a beehive.

He's gone.

Ain't that a shame? There he goes.

Come along, Mitchell.

I think we'll forget the punch.

Tommy, you know we have

Sgt. Higginbotham to thank...

for your being let out of the expedition.

That's right.

The Colonel says I'm the only man

sharp enough...

- to replace Sgt. Ballantine.

- That's very flattering.

I'm only glad to be so some help in,

shall we say, Cupid's service.

One thing I can promise...

with Cutter and MacChesney about,

you won't have one dull moment.

I've got a feeling they don't like me

very much. It's just as well.

- The army's no place for sentiment, I says.

- That's right.

Excuse me.

I've got a pebble in my left boot.

Hello, Higginbotham.

- How would you like to come with me?

- What?

I'd like to discuss

a few of my military theories with you.

I'd like to have a little chat,

get to know each other better.

- How about a bit of a drink, Bert?

- Thanks, Cutter.

- Where's Ballantine?

- Never mind that civilian.

I got Bertie Higginbotham,

his replacement.

Bertie's got a thirst like a derby winner,

haven't you, Bertie?

We can look after that, old boy.

Take a plunge into this punch.

Punch? That stuff's for drummer boys

and old ladies.

- Not that stuff.

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