Gunga Din Page #3

- That would knock a horse down.

Swill that down, me boy...

and you'll think all the Thugs in India

is a bunch of missionaries.

That's right, Bert.

That's a funny thing.

The punch tastes all right.

It's all right.

Bert, how about having another drink?

To the new comradeship, Mac and you

and me and the regiment forever.

- That's it, Bertie, my boy.

- I'll drink to that.

All right.

Here's to good old Bertie Higginbotham...

the finest soldier since

William the blooming Conqueror.

Down the hatch, boys!

Which of these two do you prefer?

I don't know. Try them both.

One for each window.

Don't be silly, darling.

It's as much your problem as it is mine.

- I know.

- These curtains are for your den.

My den?

What's this, Sergeant?

Buying a trousseau?

We're buying curtains.

I thought it was for underpants,

the kind civilians wear in the tea business.

Will you two leave

and stop annoying Tommy?

I'd like to oblige, but we're marching off

to Tantrapur in 20 minutes...

and Tommy's marching with us.

But Higginbotham's replacing him.

The Colonel said...

Higginbotham's in hospital, Miss.

I grieve to say, Miss,

that the man is a tower of pain.

- Something he must have ate.

- Or drank?

Sgt. Ballantine, fall in!

- Tommy.

- It's the Colonel's orders, Miss.

Tommy, these friends of yours

have engineered this behind your back.

Don't cry, darling.

Goodbye.

This is May 9.

I'm going with you for five days,

and good company I'll be...

but at sunset on May 14,

when my time is up...

wherever we are, I'm going to knock

you two apes' heads together.

Now come on.

- Pardon me, madam.

- Fall in!

Your petticoat's showing.

Ek Number! All's well!

Do Number!

All's well!

Teen Number! All's well!

Chaar Number! All's well!

Paanch Number! All's well!

Swing those picks there.

You think this is a strawberry festival?

Shake a leg with that pole.

Come on, get it up there at the double.

This is a fine time for things to go quiet.

Blast them Thugs.

Why don't they come

and give us a good fight?

Then Bal will be a pipe to re-enlist.

Come on, hurry up, I told you.

How can we get a nice little war going?

What if I were to blow up the Taj Mahal

or one of them sacred tombs?

What do you want to do,

start the Indian Mutiny again?

Annie, get your back into it! Hurry up!

He's even snarling at poor little Annie.

You can't work 24 hours a day, you know.

In another 24 hours, my time will be up.

I don't want to leave anything undone

that might detain me.

Get it up, hurry up.

He's tired.

It just goes to show you

what a piece of dry goods will do.

A brilliant bloke like him, too.

Cutter, we got to do something.

Come here.

- What now?

- Look, Mac...

for four days we've been waiting

for them Thugs to start something.

Four days in this cruel heat

and horrible tension.

- What's that to do with Ballantine?

- I'm coming to that.

Go on.

Three hours from where we're sitting,

by a secret trail...

there's a gold temple

waiting to be sliced away and carried off.

Have you started after

this buried treasure again?

Just a minute, Mac. This one ain't buried.

According to Gunga Din,

it's standing right out in the open.

According to Gunga Din, eh?

I thought he might have been

at the bottom of this.

What's the idea of this lushing?

- Give me that bottle.

- Wait!

Just a minute.

MacChesney, I'm here to speak,

and I'm going to have my say.

You want Ballantine to stay with us,

don't you?

- Of course I want him to stay.

- All right. Just a minute.

It's as easy as parting your hair.

We take Bal to the temple,

show him the gold...

and the moment he starts slicing at it...

marriage and the tea business

will whiz from his mind.

MacChesney, versus that,

you can't think of a single argument.

Cutter, I'm warning you.

- What's the matter with you?

- What's the matter with me?

I'm sick of it! Now shut your trap.

- You mean you won't go?

- No!

And if you mention

gold temples again to me...

I'll tear the back right off you

with a shovel.

Very well, MacChesney,

you made your choice.

I offered you the chance

to be a millionaire...

and you turned it down.

All right, I'm going alone.

Wait a minute!

Cutter, you ain't leaving this village

without my permission.

Give me that bottle.

I've been a soldier for 14 years.

I know my duties as well as you do.

But you're not talking to a soldier now,

you're talking to an expedition.

I'm an expedition. Out of my way.

Cutter, sit down before I throw you down.

Make way for the expedition,

if you know what's good for you.

Goodbye forever.

Stand back.

I'll throw you in the clink

if you make a move.

Out of my way before I split your jaw.

- Cutter, I'm warning you.

- Come on, put 'em up.

Come on, out of my way.

I'll bash your ugly face in,

that's what I'll do.

Come on, put 'em up.

I'm afraid I have to do it.

Sgt. Ballantine.

- What?

- Come here.

Poor fellow's taken with a dizzy spell.

Lock him up safely until he comes to.

I'll lock him up. I'm only sorry

you didn't have a dizzy spell, too.

Then I'd lock you both up

at the same time.

Good old Din. What's up?

Tonight, when everyone sleep,

Din go back again.

- See gold.

- You did?

Where is it?

Didn't you bring any with you?

Bhisti cannot carry whole temple.

- Whole temple?

- Din see it. All gold.

Here, now.

We've got to get out of here now.

Get me some tools

that I can rip these blinking bars out with.

- Already bring all tools could find.

- Yeah.

Is this satisfactory, sahib?

Think I want

to break out of a blooming pudding?

Go on, get something big. Jaldi!

Up, Annie. Please, Annie.

What are you doing, Din?

A large tool you asked for, sahib.

Annie, come on,

pull these blinking bars out for me.

Work for me. Get me out of here, Annie.

Come on, Annie. Be a good girl.

Whoa, Annie! Just the bars!

Alert the guards!

- Wake up!

- What?

The Thugs are here!

Why didn't you say so?

I'd like to get a crack at them.

What happened?

- Dacoits slipped in and stole elephant.

- What's that?

Thugs stole Annie.

Stole Annie? They'll stoop to anything.

How many were there?

- Couldn't see.

- Where did they go?

- The hills.

- Sound assembly.

Sgt. Ballantine,

pick 16 men and follow me.

MacCheesecake, if this is

another of your tricks...

Fall in the remainder!

Put every man on guard duty!

- Very good, sir.

- Steal Annie, will they?

I'll break every Thug's back in India!

Din, are you sure you're on the right trail?

Yes, sahib. Here is the bridge, sahib.

- Is this bridge safe?

- It's safe, sahib.

Safe? What do you mean, safe?

Make her stop that.

She's making me nervous.

Get out of my way.

It's no time to do a thing like that!

Annie! Take your foot off.

Annie! Take your trunk off.

Annie, please go back!

That's gold, bugler.

Look at it, bugler.

That's yours and mine.

Archibald Cutter, the blooming duke,

look at me, and Rajah Gunga Din...

pouring diamonds

out of that there blinking water bag.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes