Gunga Din Page #5

just before our wedding? Be reasonable.

You didn't sign anything?

Why ask a question like that?

Do I look that stupid?

Just pretend I'm going off on a picnic.

That's all it'll amount to.

We'll get Cutter out of that gold temple

without firing a shot, just by strategy.

We've done things like this before.

It's just a lot of fun.

- Fun? You want to go.

- Darling...

- Sgt. Ballantine, fall in!

- Right, sir.

He called you sergeant.

Why? You're not in the army.

It's just an old habit, hard to break.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Why don't you come right out

and say you don't want to get married?

You'd rather be with him.

Why fool me by telling me

how you hated him and his ugly face...

and all the ugly faces in the army?

- I didn't say quite that. Be fair.

- Please, sahib, hurry.

- Come on, Sergeant!

- Can't you wait a minute?

Sure, I can wait,

but I'm not so sure about Cutter.

- Can't you trust me? Kiss me goodbye.

- No, never.

They're probably

slicing Cutter's ears off by now.

- I'm coming, Mac!

- Darling, please don't go.

You don't want a man for a husband.

You want a coward

who'll run out on a friend in danger.

That's not me, and never will be.

I don't care how much I love you,

and I do, very much...

I'm a soldier... I mean, I'm a man first.

All right, MacCheesecake,

get that silly smirk off your face.

- Come on.

- Let's go.

Surely Mother Kali is kind.

One Englishman fly walks in,

and now our web is baited.

More will follow.

Two more have crossed the bridge.

It is well. Prepare.

You said this place was full of priests.

- Sahib do not give Din chance to say.

- You've got a mouth, haven't you?

Quiet. It's Kali.

A Thug temple.

Why didn't you tell me they were Thugs?

I've a good mind to split you in two

and stuff you up an elephant's trunk.

MacChesney roar so loud...

poor bhisti cannot get a word sideways

between roarings.

Enough of that. We're here to find Cutter.

We should have brought every man

in the regiment.

I only wish you had, sahib.

Hello, Din.

Fine work, bugler. I knew you'd do it.

Thank you, sahib.

- Hello, boy.

- Hello, mate.

You're alive, anyway. What's this?

I'll chop you down right away.

So there you are, you white-livered

elephant-stealing treasure hunter.

Look at you, hanging there

like a lamb in a butcher's shop.

Where's the troop?

There's no troop, and the Guru has us.

We right walked into it.

You mean to tell me

you didn't bring the troop?

What a brain!

I round up every Thug in India,

and you mess it up with that pygmy brain!

I couldn't face my own men

if I brought them to witness your shame...

disgracing Her Majesty's uniform.

Shame? They're doing this to me

to find out where the column is.

They plan to ambush and massacre

the Colonel and the whole troop.

- You didn't tell them, did you?

- Not me.

So I suppose you think you're a hero?

- That's right.

- A hero. Don't make me laugh.

Every man at the post

looking for these blighters...

and I reconnoiter adroitly

and encounter them...

while you cowards hide behind

your telegraph poles in Tantrapur.

Who's a coward?

- Untie him, will you?

- Yes. Untie me.

I said untie him!

Sgt. Ballantine, untie that man!

You displease me greatly,

and I ignore the both of you.

- I'll untie him myself.

- Yes, that's right.

Only one hand, that's all I need at you.

Just one hand.

- Hurry up about it.

- I'll take all day, if you order me around.

I owe you one, anyway.

Mate, look at your back.

- Never mind that. Untie my hands.

- Just look what they did to you.

I'm sorry, mate. The fiends!

- The Guru.

- Filthy scum.

- Dog.

- Maniac.

- Let's get him.

- Here we go.

Grab him regardless how many

are with him. It's our only chance.

He's sacred, so they won't shoot us.

Why, you hairless dog.

Look what you did to that man's back,

you filthy...

A lesson

in the error of false pride, Sergeant.

You're talking very proudly yourself.

Perhaps you're not too proud

to give a little information I seek.

- I want to know about your army.

- Why don't you enlist, mate?

Lash.

For a beginning, this is not bad.

Three soldiers to be given to Mother Kali...

three soldiers and a slave.

- Who is slave? I am a soldier, too, please.

- You're what?

Regimental bhisti.

Proud ox, where is your army?

How soon are they to follow?

Wouldn't you like to know?

Why don't you look in your crystal ball?

Make the ox talk.

You dirty pack of cowards!

Never mind him. Now. He's next.

- I'm waiting. Will you speak?

- I don't know.

Hold on, Mac, old boy!

Stop.

Look. See them down there...

coiling and wiggling,

sticking their pretty tongues out?

Are you going to speak?

Throw him in. He'll talk from there.

- No, I can't stand it!

- Will you speak?

All right.

If I ain't kissed

by one of them snakes, I'll tell you.

Take me outside.

- Be a man, Mac.

- I can't go it, mates!

Come back, Mac, old boy!

- Well, Sergeant?

- All right, guvnor.

I don't know

the exact position of the troops...

but in Ballantine's pocket there's a paper

with all the troop movements in it.

- You're sure of that, Sergeant?

- As sure as taxes, guvnor.

- I wouldn't fool you.

- I hope not.

If you have, there'll be worse than lashes.

Please don't lash me any more.

I'll relieve you of these.

Cut him down.

"Sgt. Thomas Ballantine hereby reenlists."

That's you, MacChesney,

always hiding behind regulations...

you Brummagem turncoat!

Be gallant in defeat, Sergeant.

You're simply

a victim of superior strategy.

Quiet, you Whitechapel scum, or I'll

cut your slaggedy hands off at the wrist!

- I'll pay you back with horrible interest!

- I command you to shut up!

Tell your men to lay down their arms and

get out of here, or you're a dead kipper.

Lay down your arms and leave.

- Where do those stairs lead to?

- Not to freedom.

- We'll see about that. Ready?

- Right.

- Sgt. Cutter, guard that door.

- Right. Mac, take your coat.

Right. Get up.

It's young Toad Face blazing up the Thugs.

I'll start with him first.

No, you won't.

Gentlemen, what do you think

of your freedom now?

All right, my friend,

if we've got to die, you've got to die, too.

As long as I'm alive, you live.

- What did he say?

- He says he'll be unharmed.

He says to keep order,

be confident, and wait.

Congratulations, Sergeant...

on your knowledge

of our humble language.

That's enough. Get under the shade...

before you get sunstroke.

Go on. Get on back.

Wounds feel satisfactory, sahib?

I ain't had a more satisfactory set of welts

since I ran away from home.

- Thank you.

- Fall in.

Come on.

- Get down. Look out.

- Watch your head.

- The gold!

- Yes, sahib, gold!

Look at it, mates! Gold! That's what it is!

- Real solid sunshine!

- Sit down, you fool!

See that hand sticking out?

I bet that little hand's worth 3,000

if it's worth a farthing!

Who's a blinking idiot now?

We're rich, mates. Come on!

All right, Mr. Wise Man,

here's my last offer.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes