Gunga Din Page #6

You order your men

to get in behind them rocks...

and you see us down as far as the bridge.

We'll let you loose,

and there's no harm done.

How's that?

Speak, you ape, or I'll kill you.

You would throw away your shield,

brave soldier?

- Do you hear something, Bal?

- The bagpipes, Mac?

I've been hearing them for hours,

but it isn't them.

It's the blistering heat

screaming in our ears...

that makes it sound like it.

They'll pull us out, old boy...

if they can find the blasted place.

Don't waste any of your guff on me, Mac.

Here we are, and this is it.

It might have been worse, though.

I might have left a widow.

Eight feet away from where I'm sitting,

right here...

there's enough gold

to make me sole owner and proprietor...

of a pub as big as the Crystal Palace.

Best pub in Hampshire. And here I am.

You torturer!

Setting that in front of my eyes.

Is there no limit to the torture

an Oriental mind can think up?

So help me, if you mention gold again,

I'll tear the tongue out of your head.

Here it is. Get it.

Brave soldiers,

can it be that your nerves are tightening?

We can stand it up here

as long as you can, Mr. Wise Man.

Preserve your courage, gentlemen.

You are not forgotten.

They will come to save you.

That's right, mate.

You're going to see more soldiers

than you ever saw before.

Gentlemen, good news.

Here's a sight that should

make your hearts pound faster. Look.

The Lancers.

Look at the Black Watch out in front.

Those beautiful Scotties.

I'll buy them all a beer apiece.

Your comrades' coming

chokes you with emotions.

Seeing them this way recalls to you

all manner of pleasant things.

The gaiety of barrack life, old friendships...

even England...

even home.

You bet it does, mister.

Save your voices, gentlemen.

They're coming here to your rescue.

You tormenting fiend.

- You're so sure, aren't you?

- Quite sure. It is my plan.

Two come to rescue one...

then the others follow.

If you planned it right, mate...

you'll be hanging by your filthy neck

by nightfall.

You think so, Sergeant?

I'm not so sure.

You seem to think warfare

an English invention.

Have you never heard of

Chandragupta Maurya?

No.

He slaughtered all the armies left in India

by Alexander the Great.

India was a mighty nation then...

while Englishmen still dwelt in caves

and painted themselves blue.

Look.

Don't be afraid, gentlemen.

I am still your shield.

It is very simple.

Your army will enter by that gap.

Then they'll proceed

halfway down this gorge.

Those are my infantry.

The best mountain fighters in the world.

At a given signal,

they will open fire on your troops...

driving them forward into the trap.

That is my artillery.

Rather neatly concealed, don't you think?

My gunners greet them with a full salute.

And finally, in come my horsemen.

This is, gentlemen,

my household cavalry...

similar to that which guards

the person of your Queen Empress.

Each man is mounted

on a valiant charger...

and eager to slay for his guru.

The honor of the thunder in

and slaughter of your army falls to them.

I see it in your faces.

Who is this ugly little savage...

to snarl so boldly at the British lion?

Prime generals, friends, are not made

of jeweled swords and moustache wax.

They're made of what is there,

and what is here.

- You're mad.

- Mad?

Hannibal was mad. Caesar was mad.

And Napoleon

surely was the maddest of the lot.

Ever since time began...

they've called mad all the great soldiers

in this world. Mad?

We shall see what wisdom lies

within my madness...

for this is but the spring freshet

that precedes the flood.

From here we roll on,

from village to town...

from town to mighty city,

ever mounting, ever widening...

until at last my wave engulfs all India.

My soldiers! March!

- Toad Face, if you make a move...

- Stop, or I'll slit his throat.

Obey me, my son!

Beloved guru, our men will not move

if it is to cost your life.

What is my life

to the life of our cause? Go!

- No! They will not let you die.

- Go!

No, you don't. We need you.

Wait a minute.

You have sworn as soldiers,

if need be, to die for your faith...

which is your country, your England.

India is my country and my faith...

and I can die for my faith and my country...

as readily as you for yours.

Go, chota.

India, farewell.

You have warned the English.

You must die.

Our guru has given his life

for our cause. We must not fail him now!

We must get up there and warn

the Scotties before they're trapped.

We may not warn them,

but we've got to try.

Come on, mates. Let's go.

- Good work, soldier!

- Thank you, sahib.

Look.

Before I have your faces

tied to bags of hot ashes...

I want you to watch as though

you were rajahs at an Imperial Durbar...

while your comrades

are slain to the last man.

Bonnie Charlie's now awa '

Safely owre the friendly main

Mony a heart will break in twa

Should he no' come back again

You see, soldiering isn't all war,

Mr. Journalist.

Will ye no' come back again

They're coming in.

- The Colonel's got to know.

- Yes.

Trumpeter, sound off.

Shoot him down!

- You take the left flank, I'll take the right.

- Yes, sir.

They're getting away! Fire!

Good work, bugler.

Fire! Charge!

Cut their heads off.

- Poor old Din. What a mate.

- Mac, look! Here they come!

- Come on!

- Hit them again!

Get them off!

Speak to me, Bal.

They've killed him!

You'll pay for this.

I'll make you pay for this.

Take that. And that!

That's right. I don't trust you.

Why, you dirty, scheming scum.

You rotter.

Charge!

- Everything cleaned up, sir.

- Nice work, Mitchell.

Thank you, sir.

Firing party, halt.

Inwards, turn!

Fire three volleys in the air. Ready!

Present. Fire!

Ready!

Present. Fire!

- Very good, my boy.

- Thank you, Colonel.

- Not half bad.

- Thank you, Colonel.

Let's take a look to the men.

Stand easy, men.

We've all done enough soldiering

for one long day.

You were fine today. Particularly fine.

I'd sooner hear that from you, sir,

than get a blooming medal.

Thank you, sir.

Perhaps you'd take care of this for me, sir.

And here's a man of whom the regiment

will always be proud.

According to regulations,

he had no actual status as a soldier.

But those who had the privilege

of serving with him today...

know that if ever a man

deserved the name and rank of soldier...

it was he. So I'm going to appoint him

a corporal in this regiment.

His name will be written on the rolls

of our honored dead...

and I...

Let me see that last part again,

will you, Mr. Kipling?

Present arms!

"So I'll meet 'im later on

"At the place where 'e is gone

"Where it's always

double drill and no canteen

"He'll be squatting on the coals

"Giving drink to poor damned souls

"And I'll get a swig in Hell from Gunga Din

"Yes, Din, Din, Din

"You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din.

"Tho' I've belted you and flayed you

"By the living God that made you

"You're a better man than I am,

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