Gus Page #4

---

You didn't listen to me.

What was I supposed to do?

He can't live on his own.

He's proven that over and over again.

So, find another solution.

There is no other solution!

F*** this.

Casey, wait. You know, listening

to you guys argue

really makes me question whether or

not you can handle raising this kid.

Wait.

I'm sorry.

You're pregnant?

We were going to tell you.

I said that we should have

just told him.

And you're giving your baby to them?

Are you out of your mind?

She's thinking of what's

best for the child.

And you all think

this is what's best.

Jesus Christ!

I know I win contest for

biggest fuckup in the room,

but at least I'm a drug addict.

What's your excuse?

Casey, come on.

Casey?

Peter, where are you going?

I'm going to Casey's.

He shouldn't be left alone.

Maybe we should just

give him some space.

No, I'm not going

to give him some space.

Whenever I give him space, he winds

up snorting horse tranquilizers.

And you, what the hell were you thinking?

He just got out of rehab.

Sweetie, calm down.

Don't tell me to calm down.

No one should have that image burned

into their brain. He's my brother.

Not really.

I'm sorry.

That was f***ed up.

I didn't mean that.

Peter!

She just laughs when

she's uncomfortable.

It's like she has a nervous tick.

She's a lunatic! And that baby

is going to be a lunatic.

Don't go!

You're not alone!

You got old cock sucker to lean on.

Joyce, inside, okay?

Joyce.

Come on, Joyce.

Joyce!

Lizzie,

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean for anything

to happen with Casey.

I mean, clearly, he's,

he's a little gross.

It was a moment of weakness.

I'm just tired of feeling alone, okay?

You feel the same way. Jesus,

you can't even eat a meal by yourself!

Lizzie, wake up! Peter doesn't want

this kid. He doesn't want kids, period.

Jesus Christ!

Will you say something?

Use your f***ing words!

Hey!

Hey.

Is Lizzie here?

Yeah, just, uh.

One sec.

Lizzie.

Justin's here for his lesson.

Hey.

She's not feeling well. I'm sorry you

had to come all the way down here.

Is she okay?

Yeah, yeah, she's totally fine.

She's just.

She went on a bender last night.

You know how that is, right?

Okay. Um.

Is it okay if I stay

here for a little bit?

My dad's not picking me up

for another hour.

Oh!

Okay.

Game point.

I know. You don't have

to keep saying that.

I'm not.

I just said it once.

All right, just serve.

That's bullshit!

Sorry.

God, how are you so good?

I think that's my dad.

Oh, that's convenient.

What are you guys,

like, father and son drifters?

You know what?

I gotta go,

but I'll see you later.

I'm onto you.

You're a hustler, kid.

That Justin kid is sweet.

You still mad at me?

I was thinking, what if there is

something wrong with Casey's jizz.

Could I hurt the baby somehow?

Come on, Joyce.

I'm serious.

Who knows where

that cock's been?

I mean, what if he's got

an STD or something?

Oh, Jesus! Maybe I should go

get my stomach pumped.

Who are you, Rod Stewart?

I mean, how much

did you swallow?

I don't know, man, I didn't have

a measuring cup with me.

I don't understand why you didn't

just spit it out.

I guess I just got swept

up in the moment.

He was so appreciative.

He'll called me a sexual clairvoyant.

What did you do?

Oh.

- I'm not going to do that.

- Look, Peter.

I know this is a little uncomfortable,

but some of the sites are saying

it can affect the baby adversely.

I'm not asking him how many STDs

he just passed on

to Andie and her unborn child.

Our unborn child,

that's what I meant.

What are you doing in there?

I got to take a sh*t.

Okay, I'll be right out, bro!

You know, I'm going to f***ing bust

down the door and sh*t on your head.

Okay.

You bet, buddy.

No f***ing way!

Okay, come on.

What?

Come on, let's go.

Why? Because you're the one who decided

to gargle Casey's balls, that's why.

Gargle balls!

Ooh, is this where Casey lives?

Mmm-hmm.

Do you think it's all

dark and druggy?

I don't know. It just looks like

a guy lives there.

Needs a woman's touch.

Yeah, too bad

I blew that one.

Hey, Peter, could you

come down, please?

I really need to...

Oh, wow, this looks like

it's going to be good.

It was her, not me.

What?

I had nothing to do with this.

I swear, it was her.

Oh! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, dear God!

Oh!

- Jesus!

- Jesus, Casey!

God, Peter's out of shape.

Open the door! Open the door!

Open the door!

God! Okay, okay, okay.

Come on! Oh, my God!

Let me in! Jesus Christ!

Is he on drugs?

Lock the door!

Go! Go! Drive!

Oh, my God, he's on drugs!

Oh, my God!

Drive the car! Please!

Jesus!

He's not rational!

There!

What's that?

My HIV test.

Look at the date!

From one month ago.

You see? I am clean.

You don't have to worry

about the baby.

Well, that's great!

How do we know

those tests aren't fake?

- Andie!

- Are you insane?

Lighten up! Lighten up!

Leave him alone!

Listen, I'm seriously happy

you don't have AIDS.

F*** you, man.

F*** you so hard.

The baby doesn't have AIDS.

Thanks, Peter.

F*** you guys.

- See you later, dude.

- Let's just go.

Are you okay, Peter? God, I'm glad

he's not back on drugs.

I'm winded.

Jesus Christ!

I don't even understand

why this arrangement

is even an issue.

Usually it works out so well when

friends give each other their babies.

I think if we could just set some

better ground rules.

No, Lizzie, forget it. I don't want her

in the house anymore.

The only reason you have

the house is because of me.

Wait, what?

She paid for your house?

Sorry. It was supposed

to be a secret.

This is the place that we tell

our secrets, Peter.

I have to admit,

that one is a, is a doozy.

She bought your house and she's

giving you a baby?

Right? Wow, I mean,

I'm starting to feel kind of gypped here.

Hey, buddy,

I rocked your world!

Wait. Must we? Just.

Okay, you, with the hair,

why are you here?

I?

I'm here because there's

concern amongst some

that I might start taking

drugs again.

Well, frankly,

who could blame you?

Who are you?

I am a person

with a sense of humor.

Peter, I want you

to come home.

No. No, I,

I can't leave Casey right now.

He needs me. No, way.

I'm your wife.

I need you.

Do you?

I mean, you got Andie.

I don't know where

I fit in here anymore.

She's just using

me for my uterus.

Oh, my God!

What is it, Lizzie?

Nothing! Just forget it, okay?

See, you always do that.

I do what?

You shut down.

that's what happens to me when

I feel like I'm being ganged up on.

No one is ganging up on you.

That's how it feels.

All right, no one can make

you feel anything, Lizzie.

Oh, that is such bullshit.

Good, Lizzie, good. Get...

F*** off, Peter!

Don't tell me what to do!

You know, it might not

look like it right now,

but she has

just had a breakdown.

A breakthrough,

breakthrough.

Oh, paging Doctor Freud.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, gosh.

Hey, Justin.

What's up?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes