Guys and Dolls Page #3

Gladly. Furthermore,

I am quite partial to Mindy's cheesecake.

And yet, although you might disagree,

many people prefer Mindy's strudel.

Do you disagree?

It is my understanding

that the Constitution

allows everybody the free choice

between cheesecake and strudel.

I would be interested to hear.

Offhand, would you say that Mindy sells

more cheesecake or more strudel?

Going strictly by my personal preference,

I'd say more cheesecake than strudel.

For how much?

- What?

- For how much?

Why, Nathan! I never knew you

to lay money on the line.

You always take your bite off the top.

1,000 bucks says that yesterday Mindy

sold more strudel than cheesecake.

- Nathan, let me tell you a story.

- Have we got a bet?

On the day I left home to make my way in

the world, my daddy took me to one side.

"Son," my daddy says to me,

"I am sorry I am not able

to bankroll you to a large start,

but not having the necessary

lettuce to get you rolling,

instead, I'm going to stake you

to some very valuable advice."

"One of these days, a guy is going to

show you a brand-new deck of cards

on which the seal is not yet broken."

"Then this guy is going to offer to bet you

that he can make the jack of spades

jump out of this brand-new deck

of cards and squirt cider in your ear."

"But, son, you do not accept this bet

because, as sure as you stand there,

you're going to wind up

with an ear full of cider."

Now, Nathan, I do not suggest that you

have been clocking Mindy's cheesecake.

- Would I do such a thing?

- However, if you are looking for action,

I will bet you the same 1,000 that you

cannot name the colour tie you have on.

Have we got a bet?

No bet.

Polka dots. In the whole world,

nobody but Nathan Detroit

could blow 1,000 bucks on polka dots.

- Hi, Sky.

- Nice to see you.

- How goes it?

- Healthy. And with you, Nicely?

Nicely-nicely, thanks. Nathan?

What's the matter, Nathan? You look sick.

The cheesecake backed up on him.

Maybe that's why they told us

they sell more strudel.

Adelaide gave us a message for you.

Be sure and pick her up after the show.

- And don't be late.

- Yes, dear.

- I mean, OK.

- Yes, dear?

This is husband talk if I ever heard it.

You are trapped because Adelaide

is a doll that is most difficult to unload.

I don't want to unload her. I love her.

A guy without a doll... If a guy does

not have a doll, who would holler on him?

- A doll is a necessity.

- I am not putting the knock on dolls.

But they are something to have only when

they come in handy, like cough drops.

And the proof that I am right is that dolls

are available as far as the eye can see.

Not dolls like Adelaide.

Nathan, nothing personal and no offence,

but, weight for age, all dolls are the same.

- All dolls are the same, huh?

- As far as the eye can see.

It seems to me the one place a doll would

come in handy would be in Havana.

So how come you ain't got one? How

come you are going alone, without a doll?

A matter of choice.

I choose to travel alone,

but if I wish to take a doll, the supply

is more than Woolworths has got beads.

- Not high-class dolls.

- There's only one class: interchangeable.

A doll is a doll.

All dolls, any doll. You name her.

Any doll? Will you bet on that? Will you

bet 1,000 bucks that if I name a doll,

you can take the same doll

to Havana with you tomorrow?

You've got yourself a bet.

I name her.

- Her?

- Sergeant Sarah Brown.

Daddy! I got cider in my ear.

It is my fault, you know.

It's not the mission. It's me.

I can't do the job that has to be done.

I'm a failure.

I'd be doing the right thing if I resigned

and went back home to Boston.

Sarah... should you be able

to bend a solid gold watch?

- Of course not.

- That's what I thought.

Why do you want to go home?

There aren't any sinners in Boston?

What have I accomplished here?

Thousands of depraved characters,

and after months of hard work

an empty mission!

Sarah, I'm ashamed of you.

Just because the riffraff of Broadway

didn't break down that door when they

heard you were in charge of this mission.

These aren't small-town delinquents

who drink too much on Saturday night.

You're up against the devil's first-string

troops, a whole army of devil's disciples.

- Do you take sinners here?

- At any time of the day or night, son.

Come right in and sit down.

- Cup of coffee and a doughnut?

- Just coffee, thanks.

I am not here because I am poor

and hungry... not for food, that is.

"Blessed are they which do hunger

after righteousness." Is that it?

Hunger and thirst after righteousness.

Yes, sir. That's it.

My name's Arvide Abernathy. The young

lady at the desk is Sergeant Sarah Brown.

To you, we're Brother Arvide

and Sister Sarah. Sit down, son.

- How do you do?

- Brother Sky. Hello, Sister Sarah.

- Is that your name? Sky?

- Sky Masterson.

What is it that troubles you,

Mr. Masterson?

- Brother Sky.

- I gather you are not in need of money.

I'm healthy at the moment. It can change.

Are only the unhappy poor welcome?

What are you unhappy about, son?

Gambling.

Apparently you're a successful gambler.

Is it wrong to gamble, or only to lose?

- I'll come back for help when I'm broke.

- Don't misunderstand.

It's just so unusual for a successful

sinner to be unhappy about sin.

Besides, my unhappiness came up

very suddenly. Maybe it'll go away again.

We can keep you unhappy, son.

Give us a chance.

You don't look like a gambler at heart.

What made you take it up?

Evil companions. Evil companions

who are always offering me sucker bets.

- Just what is a sucker bet?

- A bet that is reserved for suckers.

For a gambler to get sucked in

on such a bet is most humiliating.

But to lose it means that you are marked

for a very long time as a chump.

You must go all out to win it.

Is that so terrible,

to be marked as a chump?

Among my people, being a chump

is like losing your citizenship.

A chump is an outsider, a yokel

who will buy anything with varnish on it.

Like a solid gold watch for a dollar?

This is a real chump.

Well, I think I'll get some rest

before we go out again.

Brother Sky, I'm glad you found us.

You stay here and talk to Sister Sarah.

Whatever your problems are,

she'll have the answers.

- I hope so.

- I know so.

If there's one thing

Sister Sarah never fails in,

it's solving other people's problems.

What did he mean by that?

The way he said you never fail

in solving other people's problems.

Haven't we changed places,

Mr. Masterson?

- Brother Sky.

- Aren't we supposed...

Why do you have trouble

calling me Brother Sky?

We're supposed to be

discussing your problems.

Maybe non-sinners also have problems.

If you are sincerely interested in

giving up gambling, Mr... Brother Sky,

reading these pamphlets will help you.

My daddy said reading pamphlets

never made anybody give up anything.

Now, I had a more personal help in mind.

There's a midnight prayer meeting

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