Guys and Dolls Page #5

You know you've been mean to me

And you know when you're mean to me

How it always makes me wanna roam

And you know there's a danger

That some gentle stranger

Might pick me up

and make me feel at home

So pet me, Poppa

Poppa, pet me nice

Ooh, pet me, Poppa

- Poppa, melt the ice

- And you know how

If you don't want me out roamin' the city

Talk to me pretty - here, kitty kitty!

And pet me, Poppa

Poppa, pet me nice

Ooh, pet me, Poppa

Poppa, pet me good

Mm, pet me, Poppa

- Proper, like you should

- And you know how

If you care to keep me home by the fire

Specially when it's time to retire

Then pet me, Poppa

Poppa, pet me good

Warm up my saucer of milk

And maybe I'll purr

Lay out my cushion of silk

Don't rumple my fur

- Just reach over and...

- Pet me, Poppa

Poppa, melt the ice

If you don't want me out roamin' the city

Talk to me pretty - here, kitty kitty!

And pet me, Poppa

That's my good advice

Pet me, Poppa

Pet me, Poppa

Pet me, Poppa

Poppa, pet me

That'll get me! Pet me, Poppa

Poppa, pet me nice

I gotta hang up. Can I tell the guys that

the game'll be at your garage tomorrow?

I would gladly pay you in advance, but

I will not get the money until tomorrow.

I've got to have time

to spread the word around.

Joey, listen to...

Yes, Joey.

Drop dead, Joey.

Oh, Nathan, darling!

You got here early.

It's so thrilling to find you waiting for me.

Just like we were married

and I was coming home from work.

You wouldn't make me stop working,

would you, Nathan?

That would be cruel. A doll like you could

earn good money for another ten years.

- Easy.

- Sweet!

And you were reading my book, too.

See? I told you reading

don't make people go blind.

It's very interesting, isn't it?

What is? Oh, the book. Yeah.

The doctor gave it to me. He said

it might help me get rid of my cold.

- With a book?

- He thinks that my cold might possibly

be caused by psychology.

How does he know you got psychology?

Nathan! Everybody has got it.

And female psychology explains why

certain girls do certain kinds of things.

It's all in the book.

Must be some book.

Would it, for instance,

tell you what kind of a doll

would go for a certain kind of a guy

which you wouldn't think she would?

Nathan! No matter

how terrible a fella seems,

you can never be sure

that some girl won't go for him.

Take us.

Get dressed. We'll go eat.

Starting with next week, Nathan,

I will be getting a raise in salary.

Where does it say what different dolls do?

You're not even listening to me.

Gesundheit.

I will be making enough

so that we can finally get married.

What do you think?

Of course we'll get married.

Sooner or later.

Nathan, after 14 years

it is already too late to be sooner.

And if it gets much later,

soon it will be too late even to be later.

Gesundheit.

Besides, Nathan, I don't know

what to do any more about Mother.

- Mother? What about your mother?

- This is something I haven't told you,

but my mother, back in Rhode Island,

she thinks that...

that we are already married.

How could she think such a thing?

Maybe because I wrote her

that we were already married.

- That would make her think so.

- In Rhode Island

people do not remain engaged

for 14 years.

- They get married.

- So how come it's such a small state?

Furthermore, after about two years...

after about two years we...

We got a divorce?

- We had a baby.

- You wrote your mother we had a baby?

I had to, Nathan.

Mother kept after me and after me

and finally I just ran out of excuses.

And what type baby was it?

It was a boy. I named it after you, Nathan.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Tell me, what has Nathan Junior

been doing all these years?

Well... right now he's in boarding school.

As a matter of fact, I wrote Mother that

he won the football game last Saturday.

I wish I had a bet on it.

But, Nathan...

That isn't all.

You're not going to say

we also have an Adelaide Junior?

All these years, Nathan.

Mother believes in big families, and...

And we had such an early start.

Just give me the grand total.

- Five.

- Adelaide!

How could you do such a thing

to a nice old broad like your mother?

Nathan, darling, let's just us get married

and I'll handle everything else. OK?

OK, doll. When we're ready.

Nathan, we are ready now.

We have been ready for 14 years.

All we need now is a licence

and a blood test.

- Blood test?

- Don't worry, Nathan. You've got blood.

What a city! First they close my crap

game and then they open my veins.

Nathan, you gave up the crap game.

Of course I did, doll. And you know why?

For you. Because I love you.

Can I borrow some earrings?

It is customary, Laverne, to knock

when entering the private

dressing room of an engaged person.

As far as I'm concerned,

you are in here by yourself.

- May I borrow some earrings?

- Diamonds or pearls?

- Diamonds.

- Top drawer of the trunk. The big box.

Aren't they a little long, dear?

Remember, you've got a short neck.

He's a tall man.

You! I'm all dated up

with Society Max tomorrow night,

and he breaks it

on account of your silly crap game.

Adelaide, look at me. I'm on my knees.

Oh, get up.

It reminds me of your crap game.

Adelaide, doll!

You're getting yourself

upset about nothin'.

It's a game I set up a long time ago.

I couldn't get out of it.

Understand?

Look, we love each other.

We're gonna get married.

We'll be happy.

Get out of my life, Nathan Detroit.

I knew you'd understand.

Gesundheit.

It says here:

The average unmarried female

Basically insecure

Due to some long frustration

May react

With psychosomatic symptoms

Difficult to endure

Affecting the upper respiratory tract

In other words, just from waiting around

for that plain little band of gold

A person can develop a cold

You can spray her wherever

you figure the streptococci lurk

You can give her a shot for whatever

she's got but it just won't work

If she's tired of getting

that fisheye from the hotel clerk

A person can develop a cold

It says here:

The female remaining single

Constantly in suspense

Shows a neurotic tendency

See note

See note? Note?

Chronic organic syndromes

Toxic or hypertense

Involving the eye, the ear,

the nose and throat

In other words, just from wondering

whether the wedding is on or off

A person can develop a cough

You can feed her all day

with the vitamin A and the bromo fizz

But the medicine never gets

anywhere near where the trouble is

If she's getting a kind of a name

for herself and the name ain't his

A person can develop a cough

And furthermore, just from stalling

and stalling and stalling the wedding trip

A person can develop la grippe

When they get on the train for Niagara

And she can hear church bells chime

The compartment is air-conditioned

And the mood sublime

Then they get off at Yonkers racetrack

For the 14th time

A person can develop la grippe

La grippe, la post-nasal drip

With the wheezes and the sneezes

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