Gypsy 83 Page #2

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Hed have to smother me

in old-school romance.

l mean, candles and incense...

Moet and Chandon...

but only in a deserted castle

in the south of France.

Oh, my God. You are so much more

of a girl than l am.

Sex just seems so...messy.

Oh, no, no.

Sex can be awesome.

Not that l would

remember, but...

Maybe you and l should try.

l think lm past my wayward-sex

fag-hag test-f*** phase...

but thank you for the offer.

lts just been there,

done that.

At least ld know for sure.

Honey, youre a queer,

with a capital Q.

OK, you know what?

Some of us...

dont care to be defined

by our sexuality.

OK. Sorry.

Can l ask you a question?

What?

Are you gay?

Yes! But l dont have anything

in common with those people.

l mean, like l give a rats ass

about Judy Garland...

or...Stonewall.

Being queer is

a very small part of me.

Yeah, whatever.

Wow.

So much beauty...

all in one place.

Please give

a warm welcome...

to international

recording artist...

and karaoke hostess

extraordinaire...

Miss Bambi LeBleau.

We love you, Bambi!

Maestro.

Yeah, girl!

When Sunny gets blue

Her eyes get dry and cloudy

Then the rain begins to fall

Pitter-patter, pitter-patter

Love is gone, what can matter

When no lover comes to call?

When Sunny gets blue

She breathes a sigh

of sadness

Like the wind

that stirs the trees

Wind that sets leaves a-swaying

Like some violins are playing

Weird and lonesome melodies

People used to love

To see her smile and laugh

Thats how she got her name

Since that sad affair

She lost her smile

and changed her style

Somehow shes not the same

But memories will fade

Pretty dreams will rise up

Where the other dreams

fell through

Hurry, new love, hurry here

Kiss away each lonely tear

And hold her near when Sunny

Gets blue

Thank you so much.

Shes a genius.

l think lm in love with her.

How are you feeling tonight?

My name is Bambi LeBleau...

and lm delighted

to be your hostess...

for an evening

of karaoke in Maryland.

But if youre feeling

kind of shy tonight...

by all means...

have another cocktail.

And our first request is...

Sigma Alpha Sigma.

Hello. My name is Troy.

Were passing through

from Ohio State University.

Were training this years

banner crop of pledges...

who will now entertain

you fine folks with a song.

Enter, b*tches.

lm too sexy for my shirt

Too sexy for my shirt

Too sexy it hurts

lm too sexy for Milan

What some people will do

to belong.

Troys a little fox,

though, huh?

Theyre not my type.

Ten to one, hes horse-hung.

Did you check out his thumbs?

A dead giveaway.

Like l would care.

l think my dear boy

doth protest too much.

OK, Miss Rock Star,

fill one of those out...

and get your freak ass

up there.

ln this dump? Please.

Do you actually care

what these people think?

Thats a first.

Just consider it a dress

rehearsal for New York.

Left, left, right, left...

Bye, guys.

Next time, bring your togas.

l have to admit to you-all

that l am out of requests.

So l need a volunteer.

Her!

- Yes.

- No.

What are you worried about?

Come on. Do l have to

come on down there...

and drag you up here?

Come on.

Come on.

What are you worried about?

Someones gonna show you up

or something?

Thats right.

Helps you compete, doesnt it?

- lll be back.

- There we go.

Please give a warm welcome

to Gypsy 83.

l can see were thinking

about the same thing and

And l see your expression

when the phone rings

And we both know

Theres something

happening here

Theres no sense in dancing

round the subject

Come on. Come on.

...When its treated

with neglect

So dont turn now

Theres nothing here

for you to fear

You can talk to me

You can talk to me

You can talk to me

You can set your secrets

free, baby

Dusty words lying under carpets

Seldom heard, honey,

must you keep your secrets

All locked inside

Hidden safe from view, oh-oh?

And was it all that hard?

ls it all that tough?

l showed you all my cards now

lsnt that enough?

Oh, you can hide your hurt

But theres something

you cant do

You can talk to me

You can talk to me

You can talk to me

You can set

your secrets free, baby

That moron.

A big hand for Gypsy 83.

Youre a star

in my book, baby.

l didnt know

it was Halloween.

You hurt? You rocked.

F*** them. Just f*** them.

Hey, you--fat chick and the fag.

This ones for you.

How does this happen?

ld like to dedicate this one...

to the redneck, beer-gut

pig-f***er up on stage.

Yeah, you, b*tch.

Why dont you come down here

and suck my f***ing cock?

lnbred motherfuckers!

How about coming up to my pad

for a nightcap?

l could probably use one.

Wow.

Cocktails?

l do a wicked Bloody Mary.

The bloodier, the better,

right, baby?

- Lebleau.

- OK.

Oh, my God.

This is amazing.

Let me apologize

about tonight.

For some reason,

this karaoke thing...

seems to attract the lowbrows.

You can say that again.

Believe it or not,

in my day...

that joint

was a classy place.

And we thought

Sandusky was bad.

Thank God you rescued us.

Avec bon plaisir.

Wheres yours?

Teetotaler, baby.

So, where are you guys headed?

New York, New York.

Gypsys gonna be

a famous rock star...

and l either want to be...

a photographer, a painter,

a stylist, or a poet.

Heres to New York City.

May all your dreams come true.

Youre good.

You could be great.

Please. l blew.

Rule number one--never let

the a**holes get you down.

Been there, done it,

learned it the hard way.

As a matter of fact,

you...remind me a lot of me...

when l was your age.

Yeah? How come?

Youve got stars in your eyes.

You lived in New York?

Twenty-one years, baby.

Were you, like, famous?

That is you, isnt it?

Youre dreamy.

Come on. Lets hear

some of your records.

Youd have to scrape

the dust off, baby.

Come on. We think

youre sterling.

That was yesterday.

l live for today.

- Please.

- With sugar on top.

- You know you want to.

- Never.

- This is so awesome.

- Yeah.

God, what the hell are you doing

in the middle of nowhere?

lm out to pasture, retired.

You dont miss it--

the big city and all

the buzz-buzz, glamour-glamour?

The truth is no.

The first record was a smash,

but then music changed.

Tits and cocktails went out,

and the hustle came in.

Of course, that didnt stop me

from beating my head...

against the wall

for 20 years.

One day l just woke up,

looked in the mirror...

and said, Give it up, girlie.

lm sorry. l dont get it.

You made it. You had a hit.

l had a blast.

Thank Christ l socked away

the big bucks...

while l was still making them.

So now lm just...

living the good life.

You got a husband and kid

stashed away somewhere?

Never wanted them.

Thanks, honey.

l had a dream,

gave it my best shot.

Cest la vie.

You know what?

This should really be...

on one of those

Rhino reissues.

Excuse me?

Yeah. Lounge is

totally hip again.

Youre yanking my crank.

Wait. Oh, my God.

Total brainstorm.

You should come

to New York with us...

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