Hackneys Finest Page #3

---

What are you guys gonna be carrying?

F*** me, have you had this on you

every time you've been here?

Well this is London innit. Dangerous

This place Asif'll lead us to,

is it fit for purpose?

He said it's Tilbury Docks

It's an abandoned warehouse

in the middle of nowhere

No one goes there

Tilbury. I like the sound of that.

Sounds Welsh

I can'! believe we're just gonna

kill some police officers

With extreme prejudice

But don't worry. Bent coppers is

something we understand, back in Wales

Now I'm overflowing with confidence

That's the spirit, man

Sirus, we need a separate car. They're

expecting us all to arrive in this car

I know, I'm on it, mate.

She's just not picking up

What I?

Is that any way to speak

to your best customer?

I know your number.

What do you want?

I just called for the pleasure

of hearing your voice

F*** off, Sirus!

I need a car

What do you expect me to do about it?

I was hoping you could get me one

What would I do that for?

I thought that was what

car companies did

Not for c*nts like you.

What do you want a car for?

Oh come on, Jane, I need a car. Please

Kiss my arse!

I'm not having you take...

...one of my cars round the drug

haunts & brothels of East London

Your low opinion of me is really hurtful

Please, I need a car. Thomas Rd

Oh, f***ing... 20 minutes

Now f*** off!

And don't he late tomorrow

Ok, so seriously...

What do I do when I get in the taxi?

I think we need to stick together.

Convoy kinda thing

How the f*** can anyone follow you

when you're driving at this speed!?

How about we drop you off, sit in the

shadows & follow at a safe distance?

Can you do that?

What you saying?

You having a dig at my driving?

Easy, Tony.

You won't even know we're there

When you go past... we will follow

Nice and easy. Right?

Just try and be a bit discreet

Otherwise there's no point

getting a separate vehicle

He isl He's having a go at my driving

I think what he's suggesting is that...

...perhaps you might drive in the manner

of a law-abiding member of the public

Yes Mr Priestly, we've seen 10 signs

for Tilbury. We're nearly there

Look there's Tilbury.

Everywhere I see f***ing Tilbury!

Alright. There's the taxi.

Did anyone follow us?

M, thankfully

Due to my man's driving that

you were so quick to criticise

I think you can safely say

no one has been following us

Having a go at my driving,

though, wasn't he!

Right. Better get in the cab then

Got your shooters?

Kind of

I think you're gonna need a bag for that

Now... we have this from swimming

Cover that with a towel

Remember, when Mr Safety Catch is off...

...Mr Shotgun is not your friend

Alright, ok

You know what

Shall we have a quick boot first?

Small one, mind

1 w'!

Is that your phone?

No

Mine plays Dam Busters

Is it your phone?

No

I have the William Tell Overture on mine

Oh, I think it might be mine

My arse is vibrating

Hello

Where on Thomas are you?

I've got this f***ing car waiting

Tilbury Docks, please

Uh, M, er...

You do realise we don't actually

know where we are going

Ea$Y

We just follow the car Sirus is in

Alright

But discreetly

Tilbury Dock, yeah?

Cheers mate

Looks like you've been

having a heavy night

Look, I don't want

any vomiting in the car

I just had it all cleaned.

5 pounds extra, if vomiting

Amblin Wharf. Don't talk, just come

Where the f*** is Amblin Wharf?

Cedar Rd

Where?

What are you doing in Cedar Rd

at this time of the night?

Just family stuff

Family

Do you remember playing in the

poppy fields when we were 4 years old

Collecting the opium for my father?

I had no idea it was

turned into this powder...

...that people in big shining

cities would kill for

Then they came to Afghanistan to kill for

this dirty powder from a pretty flower

People here don't even know

what the flower looks like

...wife back in Pakistan, you know

I tell her to stay there.

No point coming here

Life is too hard here.

Why come to this place?

- How far is this place?

- Not very far

But she's still in Pakistan.

I'm finding girlfriend here now

And get plenty jooking here

I keep my jooking here & my wife

over there. That's the best way to do it

What's flocking'?

Jooking!

You know what 'jooking' is

You put it in, and you jooka jooka,

Jooka jooka, jooka jooka

What you shoot?

Man in car

What car?

You are just f***ing wasted.

You are shooting at nothing

- The car

- What you smoke?

Smells like sh*t

Smack and weed

Why you waste good smack?

Give to me

Hello Mr Priestly.

We stopped for a little refreshment

Why the f*** are you shooting?

It's just Boris. He's a f***ing Chetnik

He's blown the head off a taxi driver

There must be some mistake.

Boris couldn't blow his nose

There is no mistake. You've f***ed up!

Get down there and hide that car

Yes, Mr Priestly

F***

Oh f***

Little prick

Sirus! Stay the f*** down

They're f***ing shooting at us!

Cover me!

2 guns!

Reloading!

Looks like we got here just in time

I've just been shot at

Tony. Cover me

Covering

Skirmish!

Popped your cherry have we, lad?

F***!

I think we got the one in the car

You just shot a policeman!

Those pigs were shooting at you first

Are you with us or against us?

You should be with us

lam... you know... with... you lot

That's it, just stick with us

Without giving them smoke signals!

Where the f***'s Asif?

I don't know. I'll call him

I've left my phone in the taxi

Use mine

Do you know his number?

Why would we need you

if we had his number?

Can't you remember his number?

My mind's gone a hit blank

Get your phone. We'll cover you

Cover me with what?

This ain't an American film!

Who even says that?

I don't think its current occupant...

...is gonna put up much in

the way of objections, is he?

Right. Ok. I'll... back in a minute

Oh f***

Sirus, I have heard gunshots.

Who is shooting?

I'm fine, mate. Tickety boo.

Never been better

Who is shooting?

All sorts of people!

Come to the other side of the warehouse.

I will open the big doors. It's safe here

Ok, I'll just wander round

Let me know if I'm mincing.

I'm damn close to shitting myself

I'll bring the Welsh arm of Desert Storm

with me, shall I? We can all have tea

Tony. Go see if we got him

Why me? Let's send Sirus.

We'll cover him

Good idea. Off you go, Sirus

What was wrong with the first idea?

Go and have a look

Sirus, man. You've done precious

little so far. Go and have a look

He's moving

Let's go get the f***er

You are doing the manhandling

I'm not really the manhandling type

Move it!

I'll have that

Right. Get him out

What? Oh f***!

Oh, f***ing hell

Hello

Where the f*** are you?

I'm here, Mr Priestly

You're supposed to be by

the f***ing taxi. Move it!

You want me to buy you a taxi?

Listen you Cossack cum. Get your

van full of f***-ups down here now

Meet me by the white container

Don't drive by the front of the

warehouse. Don't let them see you

Yes of course, Mr Priestly

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes