Hail the Conquering Hero Page #12

came along,

then you naturally wanted him.

This should have been

the happiest day of my life.

It could have been.

Instead, it's the bitterest.

It says in the Bible,

"My cup runneth over. "

Well, my cup runneth over

with gall.

This is the last act.

The farce is over.

The lying is finished,

and the coward is

at least cured of his fear.

Ladies and gentlemen, I think this

whole thing had better be called off.

He don't feel so good

in the head sometimes.

Sit down!

Quiet!

Wait a minute, Sergeant.

I was born in this town.

My father was born here.

Most of this town is on

my grandfather's homestead.

My grandfather was an

honorable man. So was my father.

I've sold papers on the street to

most of you who are here this morning.

I've known you all my life.

Your affection means

a great deal to me,

and now that

I've lost the chance forever,

I want you all to know how much it

would have meant to me to be the mayor,

or the city clerk, or the assistant city

clerk or the dogcatcher of this town,

which was

my grandfather's farm.

By the same token, I would

have gladly given my life

to have earned just one of the many ribbons

you've seen on these brave men's chests.

If I could reach as high as

my father's shoestrings,

my whole life would be justified, and

I would stand here before you proudly,

instead of as the thief

and the coward that I am.

I say a coward

because I postponed until now

what I should have told you

a year ago

when I was discharged from the

Marine Corps for medical unfitness.

A coward because I didn't want

my mother to know.

Well, it wasn't to save her.

It was to save me.

A thief because

I stole your admiration.

I stole the ribbons I wore.

I stole this nomination.

I have never been in Guadal...

I have never been in

Guadalcanal or anyplace else.

I've been working in

a shipyard for the last year.

I've never received medals

of any description,

naturally,

since I've never fought.

Two days ago

I decided to come home,

and since I'd written to

my mother that I was overseas,

I had to come home

as a soldier.

I had to have some ribbons,

so I bought some in a hockshop.

When I was all dressed up,

I met some real Marines,

and I fooled them just as much

as I did the rest of you.

Not that I really wanted

to fool any of you. I...

I just wanted to come home.

That's as dirty a lie

as I ever...

Sit down!

Quiet!

Sit down!

I've told you all this because

too many men have bled

and died for you and for me

to live this lie any longer.

I guess that's why I told you. I

certainly didn't mean to when I came in.

I'm going home now

and pack my things,

so this will probably be my last

chance to say goodbye to you.

I know my mother will

give you back the mortgage,

and I hope you won't hold it against her

that the son didn't quite come through.

There's no use telling you

I'm sorry, because

I wish I was dead.

I...

That's all.

I need some air.

If everybody will

please keep your seats.

Please, please, sit down.

I just wanna

tell you one thing, see.

I seen a lot of brave men in

my life. That's my business,

but what that kid just done

took real courage, you get me?

And now that

he's shot his mouth off,

you might as well hear the rest of

it. In fact, you'd better hear it.

There's six of us, see, and

we got 15 cents between us,

and we're from Guadalcanal,

and no fooling, what I mean!

I'll be over in a few minutes.

You'd better not, dear.

You've got yourself in enough

trouble. I'll be over in a few minutes.

There you see

one of the fallacies...

I wouldn't want this to go

any further, you understand?

...of the

democratic principle.

They can vote for

anybody they like.

I was never deceived

for an instant,

but the poor,

misguided voters,

without a brain

to bless themselves with,

without a cerebellum

to the carload...

Make a note of that, Jake,

I'll use it. I wouldn't.

Open up their arms to...

Oh, there you are.

Hello.

I'm so sorry, dear.

My heart bled for you.

You have the effrontery

to return?

What?

Oh, shut up, Evvy.

Don't pay

any attention to him, Libby.

And what do you think

of your hero now?

Don't rub it in. She

probably feels badly enough.

Well, she should feel badly,

and if you ask my advice...

Which I don't...

You heard him.

He's a sucker to even consider

going through with the marriage.

I've got to see somebody

outside. I don't blame you.

But I don't feel badly at all.

You don't?

Good for you.

Father, I wish you'd keep

your nose out of my affairs.

This is a matter entirely

between Libby and myself.

And Woodrow.

And Woodrow?

And Woodrow?

Naturally.

What do you mean,

"naturally"?

You mean to tell me after

that disgraceful exhibition

you still have

any interest in the hero?

I guess women feel a little differently

than men do about these things, Forrest.

Of course they do.

So, if you'll please forgive me

and not think too harshly of me.

What...

You see what I told you?

You walked right into it.

Why couldn't

you stay here, dear?

Now that

you've told everything,

nothing much more can happen.

Who'd give me a job?

I'll tell you what I'll do,

Mama.

If I can find a nice place

someplace where we're not known,

I'll send for you and...

I know you meant it

for the best.

I know you meant it for me, no

matter what anyone else might think.

Hello.

Can I help you?

I can manage all right.

Well, save a little room

for me, will you?

Oh, stupid, stupid, stupid!

Of course I'm going with you.

I've never loved anybody

but you,

and you never loved anybody

but me.

You can't say it's because you're a

hero that I'm running after you, can you?

Oh, Woodrow, when I

think I almost lost you.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

You're crazy, honey.

Then I'm crazy.

Is she on time, Mrs.

Kennedy? How's that?

Is the southbound on time? Yep.

Be here in four and a

quarter minutes. Thank you.

Where you going? Thought

you was running for mayor.

I changed my mind.

That's very unusual.

Well, this is an unusual case.

How about the sarge?

I told him where you were.

Go find him.

He'll be here.

He don't ever miss nothing.

Hey, jiggers, the whole town is

coming! What is it, a lynching?

With us here, we'll kind of

surround you, see?

Yeah, you were gonna

do that before, you remember?

Take it easy. Take it easy.

Just a minute, Come here.

Come here.

Quiet.

Quiet, quiet!

Take it easy! Take it easy!

Come on, back it up, will you?

Quiet!

Quiet! Give the guy a

little room, will you?

Thank you very much.

Quiet!

You wanted to see me,

Judge Dennis?

We had quite a talk

after you left, Woodrow.

The Sergeant told us a few

things. Quite a few things.

That you had forgotten

to mention.

Naturally the nomination

went back to Doc Bissell.

But he got up and said...

"Ladies and gents... "

Don't misquote me.

What? I said, "Ladies and gentlemen. "

Of course you did.

I said, "Ladies and gentlemen,

"in all the years that I have been

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