Halloween Page #4

Who?

Dr. Koplenson from Smith's Grove.

He's out.

Michael's out.

Sh*t. What?

He broke out a few hours ago.

Sam, it's a--

it's a f***ing massacre.

I'm coming right away.

All right.

Oh, sh*t.

## ["Tom Sawyer"]

# A modern-day warrior

Mean, mean stride #

# Today's Tom Sawyer

Mean, mean pride #

[horn honks]

Oh, f***!

Gotta leave the truck.

All right, boys.

Grizzley's back in town.

Who's got the Cracker Jacks?

Grizzley's back!

All right!

Look it here.

That's a new paint job.

Don't mess it up. Don't scratch it.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Oh, my goodness.

Ooh!

# The world is,

the world is love and... #

Naughty girl.

Naughty, naughty girl.

Hey, buddy,

just to give you a heads up,

I got a taco deluxe supreme

talking back at me,

so I'm going to be a while.

So do you mind waiting somewhere else

and let me pass this beast in peace?

Look, brother...

if you're looking for some kind of action,

you better take it on the arches

before I'm done dropping this load.

Or you're going to be one sorry A-hole.

I see.

What we got here is...

a failure to communicate.

You just hold on, Daisy.

I've got something for you.

Let me introduce myself.

I'm Joe Grizzley, b*tch.

And I'm going to cut that mask

right off your face, you--

Get-- Get back!

I ain't scared!

Come on, what--

# Mr. Sandman... #

Mason, Laurie!

- Morning.

- [Sighs]

Where are my goddamn glasses?

- Jesus, Cynth, I'm gonna be late.

- On your head.

- Oh, sh-- I'm gonna lose my mind.

- Move.

Excuse me.

- You gotta be kidding me.

- Now what?

It says here Nickel's Hardware

is going out of business.

Yeah, well, good. They're a rip-off.

And Mr. Nickels is a horny old pervert.

Okay, don't even want to know.

Guess what, Mom.

Mr. Nickels likes to touch me

the wrong way.

Ooh, whoo, Mommy!

Okay, that is so not funny.

Want a screwdriver, Mommy?

You want a hammer?

Look at this, Mom. Oh!

- Laurie, stop!

- I'm sorry. Okay.

- Are you eating?

- No, I'll get something at school.

- Oh, my God.

- [Dad] Oh, sure.

Just let the faceless marauding

corporate monsters of America

destroy everything

beautiful about this town.

Corporate monsters or not,

Epic Mart's a lot cheaper.

Oh, man, I gotta get out of here.

- Thanks again for dropping that thing off.

- No sweat, Dad.

Just shove the envelope

inside the mail slot, okay?

Yeah, Dad, I know.

They're coming by to look at it later, honey.

- So, it's very important that--

- Dad, okay.

I understand.

Muy importante.

- Love you.

- Love you, too.

Have a good day.

Mason, you forgot your briefcase, honey.

- Ah, sh*t.

- Ah, sh*t.

I feel like "What round is it?"

Yeah.

Oh, uh, you think you could...

glue Mr. Bones' arms on or something?

- Have a good day, baby.

- Yeah. Top on my priority list.

Hey, Laurie!

- Wait up!

- Oh, God.

- Leave me alone, Tommy.

- Wait.

Definition:
Stop walking.

- Can I ask you something serious?

- Sure, why not?

Did you ever hear

about the Mexican Wolf Man?

- No.

- Yeah, well, he's real.

- I saw him on TV last night...

- Yeah.

And his name's Danny, and his face

is completely covered with hair.

And he likes soccer.

I swear it! They showed--

- Okay.

- He's a wolf!

Tommy, I have no idea

what you're talking about.

Lay off the candy corn, kid.

Stop acting like I'm crazy. It's true!

Tommy, I'm your babysitter.

You're crazy.

- I know this. You're crazy.

- Ooohhh!

[Laurie]

All right, gotta make a stop here.

[Tommy]

Whoa! What are you, insane?

Oh, my gosh, Tommy,

I'm not even listening to you.

You'd better listen to me.

He's right there.

What are you, crazy?

You can't go in there.

Oh, yes, I can.

Hold my books, please?

That's the devil's house.

The Boogey Man lives in there.

Yeah.

Oh, no, Tommy.

Don't even joke about it.

I'm serious.

Oh, you're scaring me.

The Boogey Man will get me

or Danny the Wolf Man.

Oh, no, Tommy.

Oh, no!

Oh, no, it's pulling me--

Oh, no, Tommy, it's pulling me in!

Ha ha ha.

It was just a joke. Chill.

I wish it wasn't.

Come on, hurry up.

Chill, spazz-monkey.

Thanks.

That's no place to screw around,

Laurie.

- It's not a big deal.

- Not a big deal?

Do you know whose house that is?

Come on.

- It's going to be fine.

- Yeah.

What if something happens?

- Laurie, what is going to happen?

- I don't know.

It's going to be fine.

What is going to be fine?

Annie wants me to pretend

to baby-sit Lindsey Wallace,

then sneak out and dump her with me

so she can go and see Paul.

Sounds like

one of my crafty ideas.

- Yeah.

- I like it.

Anyway, I thought Paul was, like, grounded

for trashing his dad's motorcycle.

Oh, yeah.

No, he was, but he got out of it.

- You know.

- Yeah.

Please?

What if they come home early?

Dude, they are not

going to come home early.

Okay? Mrs. Wallace is a lush.

They're going to be out all night

getting hammered.

Yeah. Annie, I really hate lying.

You know that.

God, what are you, Mother Teresa?

- No.

- Yes, she is.

Look at her.

She's like a little angel.

- She's Mother-f***ing Teresa.

- Stop. I am not!

Please?

- All right, I'll do it.

- Yes!

You owe me big time.

- I love you.

- I love you.

Did you know that ethyl alcohol

boils at 78.5 degrees Celsius?

- I didn't know that.

- Yeah.

That's pretty cool, right?

Call me back.

This is all your fault.

I mean, you're responsible.

I cannot be responsible

for everything that goes on in here.

- What about you?

- No, no, no, no.

You're not pinning this on me.

- He was your patient, Doctor.

- Was my patient.

Look, all you guys had to do

was to play zoo-keeper.

Just keep the monkeyhouse locked

until the monkey died of old age.

How difficult is that?

Christ, you can barely tell

he's breathing half the time.

He's been like a comatose kitty

for 15 years.

If our security wasn't sufficient, Sammy,

you should have warned us.

I see. So you're just going

to wash your hands of the whole thing.

You know, you two make me sick.

"He is mad that trusts

in the tameness of a wolf."

We've given the authorities

his complete profile.

Two road blocks and an all-points bulletin

wouldn't stop a 5-year-old.

Well, what do you want us to do?

Yes. I mean,

what do you want us to do?

I want you to get on the phone,

and I want you to tell them

who broke out of here last night.

And I want you to tell them

exactly where he's going.

Christ, we don't know where he's going.

It must be great living in denial.

I must try it sometime.

Look, you and that army

of shirt-tuckers up there,

you know damn well where he's going.

And where is that?

Haddonfield!

Haddonfield's a hundred miles

away from here.

[School bell rings]

This is so f***ed.

What, me suspended from the squad?

I don't mean to sound conceited,

but I'm, like, the f***ing hottest

cheerleader they've got.

Yeah, Lynda,

that doesn't sound conceited.

What, so now nobody

can take a joke anymore?

- What did you say?

- Check it.

So Lady F***-face gives us

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