Halloween II Page #2

Seriously, 500 calories

of sugar and sh*t.

I know it, I know it.

- Morning.

- Morning.

Good morning, sunshine.

- I got to go.

- Hey, slow your roll for one second.

Please do not forget

to pick up the pizza.

And whole-wheat crust.

God, Annie.

Why don't we just have them take

the cheese and put it on cardboard?

- Aren't you late?

- Cardboard's got a lot of fiber.

- And it's cheap.

- No meat.

Rough night?

Did you hear me?

Just a little.

God. Just when I think

I can get back to...

...something as simple as sleep,

it's like...

...right back at me.

Do you wanna tell me about it?

Nah.

I don't remember much.

It was a hospital one.

I haven't had one of those in a while.

Guess I know what I'll be

yakking about in therapy today.

One day at a time, babe.

One day at a time.

One f***ing day at a time.

You know what, if I hear that f***ing

phrase one more f***ing time-

She just f***ing sits there in her

f***ing leather chair and judges me...

...like she's f***ing God.

- It's her job, Laurie. My God.

What am I supposed to say?

Boo-f***ing-hoo for you.

See? You don't f***ing care.

Right, I don't f***ing care.

I don't understand, Laurie.

Oh, nice. Thanks for leaving me

some coffee, Dad.

I don't know, I just- I wake up

and I feel like I can't even breathe.

They seem to be getting worse.

I'm- I'm concerned...

...but, gosh, I can't say

that I'm surprised.

I mean, it's Halloween and Halloween

is a big trigger point for you, isn't it?

Barbara...

...I know Michael Myers is dead.

I shot him in the f***ing head.

I know he's not gonna come back

just because of some stupid holiday.

- Laurie, they never found his body.

- So?

So it's very hard for you

to get closure on this.

I mean, he's objectively dead

but he's living in your mind...

...and he's living in your heart

and your emotions.

So that's the reality

that we have to heal you from.

Which is why I say you're still

in recovery.

So, basically, I just have to wait

until my brain heals?

Well, let's try and help your brain

heal a little bit today, okay?

- Okay.

- Okay.

How's your relationship

with Annie going?

- Annie?

- Yeah.

Not good.

I don't know, I feel kind of shitty

by saying this, but-

She's a constant reminder.

Every time I see her face,

and I see those scars...

...I know that it's my fault.

And I get angry. And there's something

in my body that snaps.

And I get this zero to a hundred rage,

and I just wanna go up to her...

...and I just wanna- F***, I don't know.

- Finish the thought.

- Finish that thought. It's important.

- I'd rather not. You'll send me away.

I would never send you away. We're

here to keep you out of the hospital.

The last place you're gonna heal

is in a hospital.

What is that?

That? That's whatever you think it is

is what that is.

The theory is that this ambiguous

stimulihere will bring...

...your subconscious thoughts

into the light. Illuminate them.

So, what do you see?

White horse.

So, what does that tell you?

Am I crazy or sane?

It tells me you're a girl who likes

white horses.

The natives are getting restless.

You were supposed to

be here 45 minutes ago.

Hello. Yes, hello, darling.

No. How are you? Hello? Hello?

Damn. Hello?

Everybody has been completely briefed

on why we are here.

They know the drill

so I don't foresee any problems.

Everything is kosher,

as my people say.

I know these journalists

personally, they're cool.

Trust me, they are cool.

So I feel like this should be

really a positive eXperience...

...you know, and be really good

for the book.

Did you just mention "journalists,"

"cool" and "positive"...

...all in the same sentence

without throwing up?

- Yes, why? Is that a problem?

- It's just quite an oXymoron, my dear.

Look, can you just level with me?

Is there going to be

a problem today?

You are quite an odd one, aren't you?

I mean, look at you.

Are you color-coordinated?

Pink clogs and this orange thing.

Are you a clam digger or something?

I don't mean that in a lesbian sense.

- I think you mean "carpet muncher."

- I'm not judging. I'm not-

- Hello.

- Can we just not get personal?

Look at this. No!

Look, it's the wrong photograph!

I mean, this is old Loomis.

This is new.

Yes, well, old Loomis increases sales

by 25 percent, okay? So just-

I'm not going in there

until you get me...

...a cup of PG tips with a splash

of milk, and I want it sizzling hot.

PG what?

Tea?

We don't have time.

Fine. Fine, I'll go find you some.

- Two percent.

- Two percent.

Wow, the princess of punctuality

is a little late.

Alert the authorities.

Laurie has been replaced by a pod.

Whoa, wait, I'm early.

I worked overtime last night.

See, you're too together.

No, you gotta loosen up a little, babe.

You know, bring some anarchy

to the party.

So you're saying I can start

showing up whenever I want?

Not on my dime, sister.

You can save the slacker sh*t...

...for those corporate bloodsuckers

who can afford it.

That's why we're going

down the toilet.

Since 1946, this country has

been under the military-industrial-

- F*** the man.

- Right on, sister.

You're really interested.

I know, I know.

I give in. You win.

The old man caves again.

- What's up with him?

- I don't know.

Are you gonna come

and rock balls...

...with Harley and me

at the Phantom Jam?

Hells yeah.

But I'm not sure if I'm down

with the whole costume concept.

What? Okay, wait.

Think of it like this.

It's so lame that

it's totally cool again.

Well, I still like my idea better.

What up, dick-lickers?

Could you please convince

Miss Too-Coolio-for-Schoolio...

...our costume idea is totally rad?

Dude, suck it up, ho. We got a f***ing

theme going on. Don't screw it up.

Plus we got you

that sick maid outfit...

...and dudes dig the domestic.

Come on, you guys,

it's borderline drama-class nerd.

- Own it.

- What do I have to do?

Stand on this chair and show

the old hippie dude my tits?

- No.

- Oh, Meat!

- Check out my lady lumps!

- No, no.

- I'll wear it. Put down your f***ing shirt.

- You give in too easy.

All right, you guys ready for it?

- For what?

- Are you ready?

Kick out the jams, motherf***er!

Michael, /'m sorry to tell you this...

... but your mother

has passed away.

She'll be back.

No, /'m afraid she won't be

coming to see you anymore.

/'ll see her again,

but / won't see you.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Dr. Samuel Loomis...

... author of The Devil Walks

Among Us, in stores October 31 st.

Thank you all and welcome.

I think you can all see quite clearly here

that Michael's psychotic perception...

...is in complete denial about his

own mother's suicide

Freud would certainly have a field day

with that little one, wouldn't he?

So it is the fate of all of us...

...to direct our first

seXual impulses towards our mothers...

...and our first murderess hatred

against our fathers.

Now, in Michael's case,

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